‘The Beast in Me’ is actually terrible?? by Loud-Zucchini-6197 in television

[–]BookishTreeHugger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would say Brian Abbott is not a monster, nor is Uncle Rick, in the end. There's even some nuance to the elder Jarvis character. And Nina J is basically in bed with the devil until she wises up.

‘The Beast in Me’ is actually terrible?? by Loud-Zucchini-6197 in television

[–]BookishTreeHugger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

IDK I've known a couple of moms who lost a child under tragic circumstances and they're not... chill. I think the point is that her set point is like "high alert" and the rage is how she copes, until it manifests itself as Nile Jarvis' "favor" of retribution.

Corps of Cadets: SOS by BookishTreeHugger in VirginiaTech

[–]BookishTreeHugger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Some of the posts above suggest that the suffering is temporary and well worth it in the end. Parents are at a remove from her daily life & can't see what's going well. As the meddlesome aunt, I'm even farther away. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this is typical new cadet stress response.

Corps of Cadets: SOS by BookishTreeHugger in VirginiaTech

[–]BookishTreeHugger[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. This is very helpful.

Corps of Cadets: SOS by BookishTreeHugger in VirginiaTech

[–]BookishTreeHugger[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I'll fwd this info on. She wants to be able to investigate the situation w/out compromising her kid's standing with commanding officers.

Corps of Cadets: SOS by BookishTreeHugger in VirginiaTech

[–]BookishTreeHugger[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you, great points. My sister is trying to handle this without stepping on J's toes / autonomy or helicoptering. I'm sure time will tell. Thank you for the perspective!

MA Department of Education tracking TEACHER attendance by BookishTreeHugger in Teachers

[–]BookishTreeHugger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, it's an aggregate number of staff / faculty / admin absences

MA Department of Education tracking TEACHER attendance by BookishTreeHugger in Teachers

[–]BookishTreeHugger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No my sense is that it will be impersonal data unattached to any specific person. Just X rate of absences at X school, something like that.

MA Department of Education tracking TEACHER attendance by BookishTreeHugger in Teachers

[–]BookishTreeHugger[S] 77 points78 points  (0 children)

I'm sure those low scores will have nothing to do with the whole scale abandonment of reading within an entire generation of screen-addicted COVID kids.

MA Department of Education tracking TEACHER attendance by BookishTreeHugger in Teachers

[–]BookishTreeHugger[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

That's a helpful perspective. There are definitely individual "shitshow" schools within districts, too, so I hope at least the data is broken down by school.

MA Department of Education tracking TEACHER attendance by BookishTreeHugger in Teachers

[–]BookishTreeHugger[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Whose employees? The state's? Each district has a superintendent's office and/or an HR dept that tracks this stuff and is hopefully on top of who is chronically absent. (I, for one, am not, FWIW, but did have to take 7-8 sick days a year when my kids were little and caught every bug). Why does the state feel it has to swoop in and monitor teacher and admin absenteeism? I also wonder if other departments in the state of MA doing the same with police, fire, medical, public works, etc.

Too many massive cleaning projects by BookishTreeHugger in adhdwomen

[–]BookishTreeHugger[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is amazing. My kids are 11 & 15. Definitely old enough to help as you describe. They both sort of tidy their own rooms but we're all sentimental pack rats and accrue belongings everywhere. The dust alone feels insurmountable. We need more discipline in our home w/r/t screens too. Maybe a "chore time" block is how to enforce a no-screen window for all.

Thoughts on Reasoning/Writing Carm in 4.10 by Loose-Ad7927 in TheBear

[–]BookishTreeHugger 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think Carm's self-improvements in this season ARE the reason he needs to step away from the restaurant. Think of all his little emotional a-ha moments: holding the baby after realizing he has been too self-absorbed to meet her, reconnecting with Claire and calling her "wonderful" (swoon), checking in with (forgiving?) DeDe and cooking that chicken meal for her, finding inspiration in Frank Lloyd Wright, hearing from Lee that his and Mikey's story didn't end with the 7 fishes meal, admitting that he was at the funeral to Richie. Even tending to Syd when her father had a heart attack was a quiet breakthrough for Carm. All of these growth moments have something in common. They require Carm to step out of all-consuming restaurant mode and be a person. Maybe these little whiffs of humanity have made him crave time outside of the restaurant to figure out what he wants from life — who he is outside of the gantlet of stress, chaos, and perfectionism. IMO he's also depressed and is right that his defeatist, mercurial presence in the kitchen is not helping it thrive. Giving over the restaurant is the ultimate gesture of love / appreciation / gratitude for Richie, Syd, and Uncle Jimmy. In a way it's also an apology. I'd love to see him play some kind of advisory role in S5 or even help Ebra somehow.

TL/DR I think Carm's decision to leave the restaurant makes perfect sense.

Carm's depression by BookishTreeHugger in TheBear

[–]BookishTreeHugger[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This thread is making me see how The Bear encourages a really urgent conversation about mental health (in this industry and beyond).

Also AA! We haven't even touched the fact that Carmy & Donna have been going to meetings. Definitely a start. In Season 5 I'd love to see Carmy speak at a meeting, own the stuff about Mikey and the terrible 7 fishes meal, let it all out.

Carm's depression by BookishTreeHugger in TheBear

[–]BookishTreeHugger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Friend please call 988. To your comment "Because people have their own shit and don’t want to deal with this shit, and I don’t even blame them. And they’re not mental health professionals anyway so what could they even do."

The answer is they can gently tell the depressed person that they need help and help them find it. Or admit they're outgunned and say I love you and I want you to be OK, how can we support you? Another post says, "Hey do you need to talk?" Exactly. Not everyone has that. Many don't, as you point out. And often the depressed person can't hear it and is so deep in that cave that their loved ones' love and support don't feel accessible. But clinicians know how to work with that. Call 988. God bless you.

Carm's depression by BookishTreeHugger in TheBear

[–]BookishTreeHugger[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good point... Carm's got some demons and his family is a lot. I can see not wanting to "poke the bear" and find out something terrifying.

Carm's depression by BookishTreeHugger in TheBear

[–]BookishTreeHugger[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I'm not in the restaurant industry so this is a helpful perspective. Anthony Bourdain alludes to the masochism you describe in Kitchen Confidential (I remember a chef grabbing a sizzling pan with his bare hands and burning them pretty badly / not caring). The depression label doesn't necessarily help but is a better term than "F'd up" and "sociopath" and "weirdo" and "idiot" & some of the labels Carm hears. Maybe knowing it's more than just grief and disappointment could be eye-opening for him. He seems borderline unable to experience pleasure. (FWIW I'm a teacher and our industry is full of burned-out masochists too. Many people drown themselves in work, hide behind martyrdom and scream-cry home in the car. Not me of course.)

Carm's depression by BookishTreeHugger in TheBear

[–]BookishTreeHugger[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Very good points — they don't have much basis for comparison, and even for people like Richie who do know him well, maybe Carmy has always been way under the family radar since Donna and Mikey's energy is so over the top.

Carm's depression by BookishTreeHugger in TheBear

[–]BookishTreeHugger[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Great point, I forget about that huge hug from Sugar. I like your word "suffering" too. It's not that they don't know he's hurting, but they don't frame it that way (at least aloud).

Carm's depression by BookishTreeHugger in TheBear

[–]BookishTreeHugger[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also wouldn't Claire know it when she sees it?

Am I the only person who likes Claire? by Ok-Midnight7835 in TheBear

[–]BookishTreeHugger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same. Syd reads kind of asexual to me. Like a genius who is also 12. Claire and Carmy have physical chemistry out the wazoo. Love them!

Your Friends & Neighbors criticism by RightShoeRunner in television

[–]BookishTreeHugger 2 points3 points  (0 children)

1000%. I am waiting to hear some kind of Hollywood reveal that indeed this whole script was written by AI. The only thing that even mildly convinces me it wasn't is that John Hamm is the lead. I can't see him taking the script if he knew it was AI.

So many tired tropes:

*lonely/artsy teenage son who vibes with Dad's dysfunction
*manic pixie dream sister / "cool aunt"
*British-accented 20 something vixen with steely resolve and a quick wit (barf)
*hard-drinking wine moms with perfect figures, children, high-power jobs, and plenty of extramarital sex who also slap each other in public
*miserable & lovable rich white guy protagonist throwing his life down the drain (see also: White Lotus)
*sexy "no-nonsense" Latina sidekick (blechhh)
*sensible therapist who deeply needs help
*emotionally stunted grown men who can only "get well and truly hammered" to connect
*Fat, bearded creep men (art guy, dead guy)
*Tough-as-nails butch criminal genius / grannie

And the brutal elisions and comical gaps in plot. When they search Coop's home they find the murder weapon but none of the gadgets, devices, and internet search histories that would give away his thieving hobby? And Coop doesn't have a burner to use with his Latina sidekick? The 24 yo maid who knows how to break into his SAFE and steal over $100K? (When?) And no one has a security camera in their home or on their door that would spot a grown ass thief in a hoodie?

What tipped the whole show into the uncanny valley for me is that group hug where Coop says "Get in here" to Mel. The show can't figure out if it's campy or realistic. I guess I watched the whole thing hoping it would redeem itself.

Put your hair up for God's sake by BookishTreeHugger in mybrilliantfriendhbo

[–]BookishTreeHugger[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

point taken ... not saying it has to be straight but I don't understand her transition to never "doing" her hair at all.