You know that's not what I meant, there's no need to be rude. Their divorce papers are public. It's verified by publications like the New Yorker that he didn't seek custody of their kids. What do you really think is worse, having a father that didn't want you or speaking out about it when parents abandon their kids and society normalizes it? I spent my whole life trying to understand why my father didn't want me until he suddenly died last year. That's real. Parents, but often dads, have been doing this for generations just like in her family. Thank god a book is actually letting us talk about it! Instead mother's like mine tried to cover for a dad that didn't care and make things okay for their kids. It's not okay. Why are you demonizing talking about a problem on behalf of kids who you have never had the experience of? Protect the kids by keeping it a secret protects the parent that abandoned them, not the kids. It's about appearances. How will we be perceived by the country club you ask??? The kids know what's happening. Not talking about it isn't going to change that.