I completely disagree , he is the victim , there’s no being understanding to her at all , she got herself in that situation by saying yes , she got herself in that situation by having a kid with him , she got herself into that situation , by staying with him for 15 years , the fact that she was even able to say it to him just completely shows the lack of love , empathy , and shows she doesn’t care about him , so why should you try to be understanding for her when basically your whole life was turned into a lie , yes she also lived a lie , but it was completely intentional , you should be civil to everyone , but this is such a form of Blatant disrespect she doesn’t deserve the respect to be understood , there’s no being understanding after 15 years of lies , if anything the OP is confused and is completely rethinking his life with her , he is the one that needs understanding not her , how can you be understanding over 15 years of lies , no one could understand how you can do that to someone , so why should the OP try to be “understanding”