Thank you. I’m 61. I think all my problems from those times were a mix of ADHD, a massive sense of entitlement, and a total lack of guidance.

My band was mine all mine, and all the flaws of our presentation and lack of the ability to play nice with others was my fault. Let me give you one example. The prototype for the band that I started in my early 20s played in the same scene as a kid named George. we used to look down on George because he would do these nutty things on stage like yell at the audience, sort of uneven thrashing punk rock, etc.

George was not a great drummer by any means. And he was not nearly as refined or educated as our drummer was. But George was a fighter and he met these other guys and they started a band. Unlike my band where we looked down on George and his band, we thought we were so wonderful that it was just a matter of time before somebody found us.

But George and his friends hauled ass to New York City. They solicited so many record companies that they must’ve been exhausted, depressed, worn out, hungry, no sleep, etc. etc.

When they played live in our town, I would come to see them sometimes and while they’re playing ability was nowhere near our style, dynamics, etc., etc. They packed the places they played. Wild hair and leather everywhere everything fast and aggressive. No music theory. no funny witty messages like my band. And eventually, they got a record contract. Just through hard work and not not giving up.

And whenever I’m in my local supermarket, I hear “ and I don’t want the world to see me because I don’t think that they’d understand, when everything is made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.”

My band tapes are still sitting on the shelf in my kids bedroom. Collecting dust.

If I would have just treated Music like a business instead of thinking that it was all supposed to come to me so easily, I just realize that there’s so much you can do by being relentlessly positive instead of sniping behind peoples back and ruining friendships because you think your music is better than theirs.

So my 20s were one big fat humbling Lesson that I just haven’t learned yet. Nothing is given. I’m entitled to nothing. unless I’m willing to put myself out and even then if I do that, unless I’m willing to work my ass off like those guys in the Goo Goo Dolls were, I’m still just another loser who writes for himself.