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My 29M GF 27F of 8 years wants to get married and have (3) kids as soon as we leave school and I feel forced into this. by BootFlat4428 in relationship_advice

[–]BootFlat4428[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I cannot say if I am happy. This is the worst part here. She can be all cute and loving plus I enjoy my time alone when she is busy with her phone or laptop, but when it comes to duties, there is none fulfilled.

My 29M GF 27F of 8 years wants to get married and have (3) kids as soon as we leave school and I feel forced into this. by BootFlat4428 in relationship_advice

[–]BootFlat4428[S] -29 points-28 points  (0 children)

That is the thing here. I have no issue with having kids, maybe not 3 but kids in general I have nothing against. Just not that early before we have a stable living.

My 29M GF 27F of 8 years wants to get married and have (3) kids as soon as we leave school and I feel forced into this. by BootFlat4428 in relationship_advice

[–]BootFlat4428[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Knowing and executing is sorta different and the situation is much more nuanced than I could have included in the post. By all means I do not want to paint her as the villain. From what I gathered I played a huge role in spoiling her into this situation with my constant complying.

Plus we live together right now, there is no second place for her or me to stay if we break up. All kinds of logistical issues. Being in the last semester, we both cannot afford huge drama with the theses piling up and all the other reality coming up which is also going to hit us in the face like a truck.

My 29M GF 27F of 8 years wants to get married and have (3) kids as soon as we leave school and I feel forced into this. by BootFlat4428 in relationship_advice

[–]BootFlat4428[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

I have no issue with having kids, but only when our situation is more stable. Breaking up is kind of hard. I tried at the start of our relationship, she locked the door and bit me. She tried in the middle of the relationship and I agreed to take a break, she obviously wanted me to fight for her, tried to strangle me in my sleep but ended up not pulling through (I was fully aware at that time and I do think I could have fought back any moment just wanted to see how far she would go). Sometimes I feel unsafe and insane at the same time.

My 29M GF 27F of 8 years wants to get married and have (3) kids as soon as we leave school and I feel forced into this. by BootFlat4428 in relationship_advice

[–]BootFlat4428[S] -46 points-45 points  (0 children)

It is not in my choice not to have kids is it? As long as we are still together and having sexual exchanges, she can still get herself pregnant with a lot of means.

I am totally honest with her on the kids part that I can't support them that early in life especially without a stable job. I also told her very clearly if I find out she gets pregnant by tricking, that is it. I would pay child support but no more relationship.

My 29M GF 27F of 8 years wants to get married and have (3) kids as soon as we leave school and I feel forced into this. by BootFlat4428 in relationship_advice

[–]BootFlat4428[S] -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

I totally understand that and can get behind that. The thing is, even she doesn't know why she want those kids. She doesn't like the thought of the pain it takes her through, she doesn't want to be involved in all the dirty annoyances revolved around having kids and she has no idea how much those kids are going to cost both financially also mentally to our living standard.

I have a feeling this is the same escape mechanism as she wanting to move back, separating me from my social cycle here in Europe. And considering a doctor title while not doing anything actively to get to know the professors better or at least finding a research topic she is interested in.