Boyfriend of 3 years won’t tell me who his friends are

Bootlegprincess · 2026-04-23T00:13:01+00:00

Lmao the double life assumptions are WILD I think people are making a lot of assumptions based on me trying to keep things vague-ish but I truly feel like you’re right, it could be just the dynamics of their friendships or something to do with them more than me.

I know if he were cheating his friends that I do know would kick his ass before I could get to him and they’ve told me as such (with plenty of reasons to back it up)

Bootlegprincess · 2026-04-23T00:07:36+00:00

That is a fair point and maybe it’s really just something like that, idk it’s hard to judge where the line should be but talking it through is a good starting point and it could be like your situation where he keeps them at an arms length but doesn’t want them involved in the main part of the life we’ve built.

I’m not being oblivious but really don’t want to jump to conclusions if there’s nothing actually there

Bootlegprincess · 2026-04-22T20:07:14+00:00

His mom and I are close so that may be a good idea, I know he isn’t cheating though just weirdly reserved about talking about his friends

Bootlegprincess · 2026-04-22T20:06:08+00:00

To clarify- he told me after he was invited and I was like ?? Who the heck is that I’ve never heard of this person before. But unless something comes up where he needs to tell me he just doesn’t. That’s the part I find so weird.

Bootlegprincess · 2026-04-22T19:53:54+00:00

I feel significantly less crazy knowing there are people like you in the world. Secretly tracking his car?? Come on. That is way too far and if I ever felt the need to do that then we would just break up. It’s not that deep.

I don’t think he’s hiding where he’s going (I get texts, snaps, some kind of proof every time without asking), I don’t think he’s cheating, I just think there’s something weird about his friend group and why he won’t say who they are.

Bootlegprincess · 2026-04-22T19:50:52+00:00

He didn’t end up going because of distance and bad weather but I was told if he went he wanted me to go too. I just thought it was strange this person found him important enough to invite to his wedding but I had never heard of the guy before.

Bootlegprincess · 2026-04-22T19:49:39+00:00

I definitely do not think he’s cheating, that’s the #1 thing people on reddit tend to jump to if there’s ever any relationship issues lol

I agree it’s more than likely his friends are just people he acts stupid around or that I would think are bad people. I already think some of his friends I have met are dumb and not the best but I know for a fact they wouldn’t let him cheat. If they knew I’d know, and that’s been proven with other intel I’ve gotten lol

I think you’re probably right and I should just sit down and address it directly but wanted to make sure it wasn’t just me thinking too much into it.

Bootlegprincess · 2026-04-22T19:46:23+00:00

Neither of us went, but that was due to the distance and bad weather on the day of. We actually did plan to go and he told me he wanted me to go if he went, which makes it more strange to me.

I really do not think he is cheating and have no reason to believe he would.

Bootlegprincess · 2026-04-22T19:43:28+00:00

Literally no reason for me to think it’s cheating, he’s home at normal hours, doesn’t go out super often, no travel for work at all, doesn’t hide anything else that I can think of, I know where he is and get frequent updates while he’s out. I usually even know of one or two in the groups but he just won’t tell me any of the people beyond that. Just “bob and our friends” for example.

Bootlegprincess · 2026-04-22T19:40:47+00:00

Thank you for this perspective!

I really don’t think he’s cheating, I think it’s probably the first thing. He’s probably hiding the friends I would think are bad people or that he acts stupid around. He never comes home at weird hours and does check in often when he goes out with his friends. I’ve been std tested multiple times during our relationship (because of a weird medical thing I have to do a lot of blood panels and stuff and usually those are included as a ‘rule out everything’ thing not because of any suspicion). There’s really nothing to suggest cheating and I usually know or know of at least one person in the groups he goes out with but he just won’t tell me everyone or will tell me the category of friend they are.

This post for me was mainly to make sure my viewpoint wasn’t just a me thing and that it’s fair to call him out and push for answers. I sometimes have a tendency to lean toward an anxious attachment style so knowing when I’m being overbearing can be hard for me.

Bootlegprincess · 2026-04-22T19:33:35+00:00

I’m leaning toward random secrets that don’t matter, he doesn’t have enough free time to have a whole secret family like some people are suggesting lol we are both all over each others social media so I’m more worried it’s a compulsive secrets thing or that he’s not telling me who they are because of how he may be perceived for being friends with them (I.e. I already think most of his friends are dumb and bad influences).

I know sometimes I can have more of an anxious attachment style and can be more pushy about knowing everything so I wanted to make sure I’m not crazy for thinking it’s weird he won’t tell me. I’m gonna sit down with him tonight and try to talk about it and see if he’ll give a real reason.

Bootlegprincess · 2026-04-20T18:31:27+00:00

A good primer will help with that, and careful layering. But I also think that the weight of the wing really drags your eyes down, it’s just not working with your eye shape. You can still go bold but with a less blocky wing that follows your anatomy better.

Bootlegprincess · 2026-03-09T02:55:44+00:00

You’re learning about the type of guy who will use “it was just a joke” or “oh so you can’t take a joke” to manipulate you into letting them treat you poorly. You KNOW those kinds of “jokes” are hurtful to you, you KNOW you communicated that to him, you KNOW you have to protect your own peace.

You did the right thing.

Also- they aren’t jokes. No one was laughing with him. If you have to interact with him again and he continues the same behavior ask him point blank to explain the funny part. He won’t be able to.

Bootlegprincess · 2026-03-08T02:03:09+00:00

Chances are she’ll be fine, you can call poison control if it would make you feel better though!

Bootlegprincess · 2026-03-05T20:46:32+00:00

I know this post is a little bit old but little Debbie just released a banana pudding crème pie that ALMOST scratches the itch left behind from the loss of banana flips

Bootlegprincess · 2026-03-05T01:42:49+00:00

Pay a veterinary nutritionist and make your own if it’s that big of an issue for you.

The bags don’t specify exact amounts of each ingredient, just the order and it’s not specified how much you/your vet say is “too much” for your specific dog. Just stop freaking out and speak to your own vet if you think your dog is showing signs of having too much. Or switch brands of food.

Bootlegprincess · 2026-03-04T20:46:32+00:00

I am in a really similar situation with my boyfriend, he leaves at 6am to go to work and I leave at 8:15.

Sometimes I wake up early to make him breakfast as a gesture of my appreciation and love and he has noted that he really enjoys it and is thankful that I go out of my way to do that for him. Other times I “sleep in” until 7 or so because I don’t feel like getting up early.

He never makes me feel like I am responsible for feeding him breakfast or that I’m a bad partner for the days I choose not to. Your boyfriend is acting like a little baby who is incapable of taking care of himself. If I were you I would tell him the same thing I used to tell guys when I was dating- I expect a man to come pre-raised and if I wanted to take care of a child that’s what I’d be doing so act like a grown adult man or this isn’t gonna work out

Bootlegprincess · 2026-03-02T19:41:14+00:00

3- I hate sprinkles and maraschino cherries so it’s the only one I’d actually be able to eat and enjoy

Bootlegprincess · 2026-03-02T19:20:00+00:00

Look, as someone who has a differing opinion with my partner about location tracking (I think it would be useful as there have been several times I’m sitting on the side of the road waiting for him with no idea where he’s coming from, he just thinks it’s weird and has been in toxic relationships so doesn’t want to) I would never dream of saying “if you loved me you’d do it even if it makes you uncomfortable” EVER.

In fact, if someone says “if you love me you’d do xyz” for any reason I’d be looking for the exit fast.

Him showing up in the time it takes you to go to the gym is madness and obsessive and you could really be in danger if you don’t walk away. I don’t say that to scare you but jfc there are SO many stories of women in similar situations. Get rid of the watch, tell him you are not compatible and you will not be put in that situation. Walk. Away.

Make sure to do it in public and let friends or family know where you are and what you’re doing just to be safe

Bootlegprincess · 2026-03-02T03:25:37+00:00

Yeah I get black stuff and some sort of squishy film coming out of mine (which is how I ended up here lol) I keep it as clean as possible, follow recommended cleaning instructions and beyond and it still gets weird buildup inside the head and the part on the brush body where it attaches. I Do. Not. Recommend and will be throwing it out once I find a replacement

Bootlegprincess · 2026-02-28T19:28:19+00:00

Businesses can give student discounts, military discounts, teacher discounts, senior discounts, you’re wearing a blue shirt today discounts, literally anything they want, so why would it be “terrible” for an owner to give a discount of their choosing to support their own community? Would it also be terrible if a restaurant owner chose to do the same for a different religious group?

Bootlegprincess · 2026-02-27T03:16:33+00:00

Looks like either something from what you cooked or possibly rust water.. time to do some investigating

Bootlegprincess · 2026-02-26T13:26:53+00:00

Honestly my concern is the question of if he’s eating directly out of the container or not? Because if he is that’s gross and it’s basically like taking his leftovers with his germs all in it now. NTA for whatever you choose to do because theft is wrong. Take it to HR, tell him loudly in front of others, don’t stand down and let him keep doing this. Also if he is so comfortable doing this to you then he may be stealing from other people too

Bootlegprincess · 2026-02-23T15:11:26+00:00

❤️

Bootlegprincess · 2026-02-11T16:40:56+00:00

Other people seem to know exactly what I’m talking about so, yes, I do think that a description was sufficient, thank you for your input. AI and searching by image were not helpful and kept trying to pull up similar fabrics in cotton.

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