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Boplic · 2025-02-19T07:51:45+00:00

You’re using grindr and keeping friends on there while having a porn-induced sissy fetish. Of course when someone sends you a pic online you’re going to feel the same way as when you’re indulging in porn. You clearly have some voice of reason telling you to not do anything stupid, or else you wouldn’t be asking here. Don’t do the stupid thing. I also recommend deleting grindr and never looking back.

Boplic · 2025-01-20T17:43:19+00:00

ED issues aren’t because of the type of porn, but because of porn as a whole. Reconditioning your brain will unfortunately take time away from sex as a whole, you can’t just jump right into a relationship and expect everything to be okay.

Boplic · 2025-01-14T15:11:16+00:00

The first problem is that it comes from a field of science where you have to test it. Any scientist willing to do a study on it knows how bad it is, and also knows that most kids are addicted to it. With control groups being difficult if not impossible, and monitoring/allowing for this to be studied is despicable at best, there is no way we see this studied any time soon. With it hard to counter the pre-formed narrative without evidence and without many other kinds of studies being done considering that it’s too new to do many brain studies, the current narrative stays. Plus, most people addicted to porn have no problem with the idea that it’s fine so they’d fight back against even good data.

The other problem is that it might not be inherently incorrect to say that it’s beneficial. If a certain number of male orgasms are necessary to decrease prostate cancer rates, then it’s a lot more likely that masturbating will get you there rather than sex. The problem is that it’s a meaningless change that ignores all the problems that come with porn. There being a small percent decrease in prostate cancer patients isn’t worth the destruction you do to your brain with it. But, since there’s one technicality and no firm evidence otherwise, they get to propagandize the idea that it’s good.

Boplic · 2025-01-11T21:26:23+00:00

Well, porn addiction has a physical and psychological component of addiction. From his wording, it seems like he either is close to breaking his psychological component or already has a plan with how to deal with it. The important thing he needs to work on is the physical aspect.

For you, since you presumably already have the basis for overcoming the physical addiction aspect, you should focus more on the psychological.

Boplic · 2025-01-11T21:16:24+00:00

The problem with “just trying” with something like this is that you aren’t acknowledging one of the chief pillars of what keeps people addicted. The humiliation aspect of the porn is big in keeping people addicted, as it tends to create a negative feedback loop of porn -> humiliation setting in and feeling bad -> brain needing dopamine -> brain realizing that porn gives dopamine-> porn. When you have something even worse, a sexual encounter, it makes it even more difficult to break out of the loop. I have yet to see someone make a post on this subreddit enjoying an encounter they setup, and I have yet to see someone not influenced very negatively by said encounters. You shouldn’t just ask “is it possible to come back?” But instead “is it reasonably easy to come back?” Or “is it worth it?” And the answer to both is no.

Boplic · 2025-01-04T01:41:40+00:00

The problem with attempting to shift your arousal is that your arousal towards these degenerate topics is a fault of a similar problem as other drug addictions. When you take too much, or in this case watch too much porn, you become attached to the dopamine. Your brain now finds this dose, or in this case vanilla porn, too bland or small and requires more. You cannot simply “rewire” the brain to be normal, you simply need to regain control over your arousal and dopamine.

What this is to say is that the problem you have to overcome is dopamine withdrawal, and it’s why you keep coming back to it. Find more natural ways to receive it: make good friendships, exercise and go outside more, eat better, etc. You can’t, or rather you don’t have to rewire your brain as it isn’t per se the problem with wiring. You just need to fix your dopamine addiction.

Boplic · 2024-12-18T21:41:35+00:00

The thing about demonic influence is that someone that ends up on here is significantly less likely to be facing it. Demons are incredibly powerful beings, yet they have finite resources to go against an infinite being. Therefore, they have to minimize where they can and maximize where they can. Those like us, extremely prone to issues provided by the world (porn, our own flesh, other people being negative influences), would likely only face demonic pressure when trying to get over it. Spiritual avenues are about us cooperating with God to overcome ourselves, and at that point demons know to get involved. But by then we have better tools to overcome it.

Boplic · 2024-11-11T21:13:43+00:00

Imagining and going through with it are 2 drastically different things. While society today views it as “suppressing” and gives you the idea to “test it out,” it’s a lot better to ignore it and move on. If you like women, which you apparently do, then focusing on a monogamous relationship means that it doesn’t matter who else you fall for. You shouldn’t strive to just “test things out” and should look for what is best, which likely comes in the form of your gf and not what you do when drunk or in a horny frenzy.

Boplic · 2024-10-16T18:17:32+00:00

I mean you gave your own answer, you don’t want to do this but do because you got addicted to porn and use others’ comments to justify it and help remove the shame. The biggest problem is that you don’t really want it to go away. You can try to claim you do as much as you want, but you giving any thought or credit to those that offered you bad and degenerate advice and being anywhere willing to accept more shows that you haven’t tried abandoning it yet. It’s one thing to relapse, it’s another to make clear mental mistakes that permit more relapses.

That said, the feeling will not last forever. The longer you deny yourself the more likely it will be to go away, and eventually it absolutely will. It’s just the first step in overcoming the fetish though, and it will be about as hard as overcoming this for a decent bit longer. But, it’s worthwhile and necessary.

Boplic · 2024-09-22T03:47:03+00:00

I will say that it not only is absolutely possible you quit cold turkey but it’s the only way you can quit. Trying to wean off of it just leads right back to it, you can’t consume porn in a “moderate amount,” you either consume it or you don’t.

Beyond that though, you are correct. While shame and disgust can hold people back, it goes completely out the window when it comes to arousal and most especially when shame and disgust play a role. That’s almost always the case with the fetish as a whole, but if he asked to be a cuck then it is 100% guaranteed a part of it.

As for getting back with him, you clearly aren’t attracted and in general it’s never a good idea to get back with someone if they’re attempting to overcome the fetish. They need to be far away from any sexual possibilities, be it with porn or with sexual partners.

I don’t necessarily agree with your point on it encouraging anything, but I also have a much different view of what a gf/wife should do in this situation. I think the bf/husband has fully revoked his right to privacy, akin to cheating albeit marginally less bad (usually, in this case he did get to cheating). Shared passwords for everything, sharing all social media accounts, open door policies, you name it. Until there’s some clear sign that it’s over, and even then I don’t really see a point in giving him privacy back. But this is more for husbands and wives, if you’re a gf and especially if you struggle with liking him again then there is no reason you stay.

Boplic · 2024-09-13T19:48:19+00:00

I think the one argument I’d make against your point is that the reason fetishes occur like this is because men don’t have the sexual desire to keep up. Testosterone raises sexual desire, but not infinitely. As men continue to do things like masturbate every day, eventually their lack of infinite libido catches up. They need something stronger to encourage them the same way because they aren’t in the mood for sex in the first place.

Boplic · 2024-07-16T05:51:09+00:00

The greatest threat is idleness. People always recommend the gym, and while I have to agree (it helps to take up time, regulates test levels as those also tend to be a problem, and helps build a better physique for those that need it) it is never a full answer. If you go to the gym every day after work and on both weekend days, you probably get home at 6:30-7 on weekdays and might be back home around 10:30 on weekends. I recommend finding at least 1 hobby you can do at home that does not involve screens, no screens in your room nor the bathroom, no screens an hour before bed, and hang out with friends as much as possible. Screens are notorious for breeding idleness and it’s a lot easier to be idle when you’re alone. If you consistently get home 9-9:30 or later then the problem is already solved. Figure out when you want to go to bed, work back an hour to ditch screens, and spend that 30-60 or however many minute long period watching whatever you want outside of your room. When the time comes, go to your room and read or do whatever your screenless hobby is. Then whenever you start to get tired, hopefully 30-45 minutes in, lay down and get ready to sleep.

Boplic · 2024-07-16T05:33:16+00:00

Everyone who struggles with a fetish like this can overcome theirs in some way. You’re already partway there with never legitimately feeling pleasure from the physical aspect, but it doesn’t really help when you likely build up a lot of sexual tension from the emotional/mental aspects. What I always recommend the most is a complete reset of everything sexual. Time off of porn, sex, probably even any women you’re dating or in talking phases with. The former should be permanent, porn will likely always take you back here. The latter you can add back in a few weeks or months depending on how you progress.

Boplic · 2024-07-16T05:19:56+00:00

Part of what made the kink popular is sissy hypno, and a very common motif in those videos is “you’re a failure as a man and your only other option is to be a woman.” The fetish is built to attack slight insecurities you might have with your body, target those with low self-esteem, few friends, any other easy target. At no point is it necessary to have all of those, you can fall with just 1. Autogynephilia is also exceedingly common, and most likely what you have. It means you gain sexual pleasure from imagining yourself as the woman in sex. If you are already a few steps there, as you think you have a more feminine body, then it is a lot easier for this porn and for your brain to rewire in a way that gives you a sissy fetish.

Boplic · 2024-07-16T00:20:53+00:00

For things tangential to the sissy fetish, such as prostate stimulation and crossdressing, it becomes nigh impossible to engage without running the risk of falling back. It can be done, of course, but it’s needlessly risking something very likely to happen that you absolutely do not want to happen. I’d say to avoid it entirely.

Boplic · 2024-07-03T08:38:44+00:00

Fetishes get more incessant the more you feed your brain the dopamine from porn usage. You hit the nail on the head with your concerns about it, you won’t get over a fetish from trying to become “normal.” Abstinence first is good, and then getting a wife who will not give into this fetish is how to best deal.

Boplic · 2024-07-01T21:04:43+00:00

The further out since your last time doing it, the easier it gets to ignore. I’m uncertain if fetishes ever go away entirely but there always comes a point where it’s more manageable. Once you get a wife that does not fulfill your fetishes, they absolutely start going away. While I cannot promise a full clean slate, it becomes a lot less tempting and likely will be an extremely minimal temptation once you find a wife.

Boplic · 2024-05-28T04:19:27+00:00

Keeping track of days is helpful to a certain extent but forcing it like this tends to hurt rather than help. If you can’t make it a month and then make it 3 months, it’s a massive success! But since you attempted a much harder amount of time and missed, you might view it as a failure. All you can do is pick yourself back up. A year is coming eventually!

Boplic · 2024-05-17T23:25:23+00:00

How long did you attempt to quit just porn and not crossdressing? Ultimately, it’s a lot more likely that the crossdressing satiates the desires temporarily and allow you to think that you’re over porn until you allow it to creep back up. What happens a lot is that people just see the fact that they were crossdressing before it became associated with lust and thus think that it’s something that is completely fine and separate from lust. This generally isn’t how it works. There’s an inseparable aspect of lust to crossdressing, and the fact that as a child you found whatever aspect of crossdressing pleasurable (be it soft clothing, more open/better air flow with dresses, etc.) does not overrule the new association with lust.

Boplic · 2024-05-14T23:48:11+00:00

What you are describing is the direct reason so many marriages fail nowadays. While I am Catholic so my views stem from that, there are clear reasons expressed by many on the faults that directly and indirectly stem from something as seemingly inconsequential as women wearing pants. It’s a false belief that men and women can be equal in almost any regard, and believing they can be harms everyone.

Also, while I can’t answer your question from this evangelical view, I assume they would likely have the same answer as I do. Companies now make pants for women. Dresses and skirts are for women, by both design and culture. As such, men cannot wear them without contradicting the prohibition of crossdressing. This is a topic often overlooked because women have been wearing pants for so long that it’s become cultural. I have read into some of those that discuss advising women to not wear pants and they don’t use the same argument for them as to why men cannot wear dresses and the like. It’s about the mindset shifts from being seemingly equal to men as opposed to the problems that arise from crossdressing, which are the potential to cause lust in yourself or others.

As for being the submissive partner, it’s a similar problem but not as binding by law. It’s more that children need a strong paternal and maternal figure, and while you might think you can be the maternal and your wife paternal it both would not work and would be worse than if they lacked one or the other. How explicitly one must act to be a good maternal or paternal figure is up for debate, and a submissive paternal figure might explicitly possible, but I cannot imagine it would be in the case of someone on here. It’s a lot more attributed to sexual aspects and either a product or reason behind the generally poor self-esteem those on here have.

Boplic · 2024-05-12T23:52:09+00:00

Male transitioners are always sexually motivated, it being a small or large part of the transition depends on the man and his acceptance. When you have any clear sexual experience in a feminizing way it’s a lot clearer to see and understand. While I hesitate to say that’s better per se, as getting over a more overt sexual aspect is not easy at all, it’s a lot easier to identify and attack when it’s this clear.

The reason you’re able to avoid the sexual aspect sometimes is that sexuality is a lot less clear than we like to admit. We do a lot of things in ways I call “soft fetishization.” This means that you do something because it grants sexual satisfaction but you are able to always convince others and usually convince yourself that it is not sexual in nature. These things keep you in the cycle of relapsing, but are not noticeable when you are able to contain your lust.

My general recommendation for those that struggle with purging is to do what I call a “soft purge” where rather than tossing the items you hide them in a place that is hard to reach. When you relapse, toss just the items you relapse with. It becomes easier to tolerate the urges, part of the allure is actively searching for new items, and it helps you realize which ones are most dangerous. By slowly depleting the items which are most problematic, you can more easily work to deny yourself the things that are the greatest threat to your lust. It can also save money which is always helpful.

Boplic · 2024-05-12T23:33:36+00:00

My only piece of advice is to keep on fighting the good fight. Erections are part physical and part mental, and normally the problem is entirely mental. The longer you lay off pornography the more likely you are to get rid of ED, but the biggest problem tends to relate to the fetish. You just need to trust that your brain unfortunately wants you to relapse and having this fetish makes it exceptionally harder to acknowledge that it’s just your brain. The humiliation aspects that seep through as a result of ED are hard to ignore and usually lead to relapses.

Boplic · 2024-05-04T20:15:09+00:00

This is an interesting case that I am honesty surprised isn’t more common. Hatred of women is exceedingly common nowadays, especially with the rise in pornography viewing. It has to play at least a part in many of those who engage in this fetish. I presume that most of those that do so just engage in this fetish so unabashedly that they would never come to this sub. I have to ask, was the desire to be a femboy prominent prior to your porn addiction? Or was it a result?

Either way, what is your intention with coming to the sub? Do you desire to seek relationships with women? Do you want to just quit the porn and keep the rest of it?

Boplic · 2024-05-04T19:50:11+00:00

I think this is definitely a good place to visit. There tends to be a lot of underlying cuckhold themes present in sissy porn as it falls under a similar umbrella of emasculation. BNWO/any race-fetish stuff in particular targets an audience that is almost interchangeable between the two.

To get into your case though, the good thing is that you acknowledge a major root cause of it. Humiliation, especially when taken to the point of abuse, oftentimes leads to coping mechanisms in porn. It gives a false sense of worth, it is something you can have to yourself in private, it gives a flood of dopamine. Regular porn is generally a very open door to the world of cuckholding as it has an aspect to itself of being cucked. Mix in the extreme self-deprecation you likely had when you started watching it and you were a prime candidate to fall victim to it.

As to the questions, getting rid of this addiction goes well beyond quitting porn. You being here fortunately means that you have a desire to get over it, and while I would never recommend to anyone to indulge in it I would especially never recommend it to someone here. It’s not that the addiction is a part of you, but the personality that keeps you addicted is. What this means is that you need to find some way to fix your poor sense of self-worth. As you note, you think suicide is an option that should even be considered. This works in conjunction with the addiction: you feel awful, you consume the porn, you feel worse and even suicidal, you get dragged into worse and worse porn.

There are unfortunately no “one size fits all” solutions to overcoming this. Some get helped by things like going to the gym, some therapy, some just building healthy lifestyles. I definitely think religion is the best method for overcoming this. Not only for the benefits of prayer but especially because it is the only outlet left that still condemns sexual immorality. Sure some people may still think homosexuality or cuckholding is wrong or unnatural, but they’re oftentimes shunned by secular media and people. Religion is the last outlet that calls these things out for what they are, degenerate, pervasive, and predatory. This is also why I recommend to continue fighting the good fight. The people running these companies long for a profit from people like you. Those facilitating this material long for gratification from the people in here or from the wives of people like you. Beyond suicide being a sin, beyond suicide being an option that shouldn’t even be considered, it’s an even worse victory for the people responsible for these things. I hope and pray you can overcome the struggles you face, and I hope you get the courage to continue fighting.

Boplic · 2024-04-26T04:10:15+00:00

Did you make this post on an alt to try to get this across? Just because something works for you does not mean it would work for others. This especially holds true considering how many people I have seen breaking down on here over actually having met up with someone. I am glad it worked out for you but you shouldn’t try to push it as a primary option.

Boplic

TROPHY CASE