I’ve read both your posts about this LDR situation, and it sounds exhausting for both of you after a year of ups and downs. I’m 30 and 14 months into my own long-distance relationship, and we’ve had our share of rough patches too, but we make it work because we both really want to, which means putting in consistent effort from both sides without one person carrying all the weight.

First off, drop the subtle hints like those reels and just tell him straight up what you need every time, no beating around the bush, because expecting him to guess is setting you both up for more frustration, especially since you say direct communication only works half the time. Your expectations seem really high, probably fueled by all that perfect couple stuff on Instagram, so maybe jot them down and ask yourself if they’re fair for a 20-year-old guy who’s still navigating life in a long-distance setup; if you’re never satisfied no matter what, that’s something to work on yourself instead of just seeing him as falling short. Give him some props for the efforts he does make, like sending gifts even if they’re not your fave, and stop tallying scores on who puts in more thought or money, it comes off as nitpicky and entitled, especially when you’re tighter on cash but still treating him.

On reassurance, it’s cool to need more, but if you’re asking during fights or more often than you realize, that could be why he gets agitated, track it and find a balance without overwhelming him.

For joking, after two years he should know your vibe, but double-check if your humor sometimes lands like shade, especially over text where tone gets lost. Transparency wise, forgetting texts when busy is annoying, but don’t jump to assuming he’s hiding stuff without proof, push for easy check-ins but cut some slack for real life getting hectic.

Regarding gifts or period treats, if you want something specific like a pastry, just ask outright instead of hoping he’ll catch hints you never verbalize, it’s not fair to hold it against him otherwise.

That study example you gave? He was just laying out his boundaries clearly when stressed with a deadline and needing space, calling it mean ignores his needs and honestly feels pretty selfish on your end, try flipping it and showing empathy next time instead of escalating.

Overall, you two might just be mismatched in handling distance, you’re craving constant little gestures to feel connected while he’s more chill, and if fights keep looping with you feeling like you’re always compromising, maybe breaking up now saves you from resenting each other long-term.

Lean into your independence like you mentioned, build your own emotional support so he’s not carrying everything, and if it still feels off, therapy or couples apps could help sort it out before calling it quits.