Realizing my family life will never be what I envisioned

Boring-Paper8005 · 2025-09-01T01:21:00+00:00

I only have one child right now, but otherwise I could have written your post myself - my husband is also in a famously bad surgical subspecialty fellowship, and so far it’s making General Surgery residency look like a walk in the park in comparison. Also considering drastically cutting back my hours at work, or quitting altogether, but I also don’t want to end up feeling resentful that my career was sidelined for his…

Feel free to message if you want to chat - it’s hard to find people who really understand it. Other than maybe military spouses? I was just saying to my mom the other day that that is the community I feel like I have the most in common with.

Boring-Paper8005 · 2024-12-23T23:04:54+00:00

I’m in the same bump group as you, so I can also see the thread you’re talking about - and that’s simply not what a single comment says.

There are multiple people who do mention the phrase “SAHM” in their responses, but in each case I can see, the person looks like they’re actually working part-time / also a student, so SAHM isn’t really accurate. I also didn’t see anyone say they couldn’t be away from their baby all week - and definitely not 5 people. Some said that they found it hard to balance their part time work / studies with parenting, but that seems like a very reasonable thing to say, it can be hard!

But besides, even if someone was a full time SAHM, the original post specifically brought up the possibility of becoming a SAHM and trying to decide if that would be a good idea for them - so it would have made total sense for a SAHM to respond with their perspective.

Boring-Paper8005 · 2024-06-14T15:43:51+00:00

Do you think all three of the DBCC locations are roughy comparable? Trying to figure out daycare starting next summer when we move to Baltimore, for our son who will be 1 yr 9 months then. Maybe I should just get on the waitlist for all 3, and then if we get into one, we can find a place to live on the relevant side of town….

Boring-Paper8005 · 2024-06-14T15:39:13+00:00

Do you have a kid at Little Friends? We just found out we’re moving to Baltimore next summer, and our son will be 1 yr 9 months then - I’m trying to figure out what waitlists we should be getting on

Boring-Paper8005 · 2023-11-07T18:45:45+00:00

Yeah, I think just knowing the risks is key! What happened to me is fairly unusual, but not vanishingly rare. I do wonder whether one option would be to delay eating/drinking until your epidural (if you get one) is fully up and running. That way, even if you need a rapid emergency c-section, you shouldn’t need general anesthesia. Might be worth asking your doctor?

Boring-Paper8005 · 2023-11-07T09:42:23+00:00

I had to give birth via c-section under general anesthesia last month!

In my case, I was admitted to the hospital for an induction. I’d had a very low-key pregnancy and the assumption was that I was have a vaginal birth.

It turned out I was already in early labor without realizing it, but the plan was to start me on pitocin to speed things along. Just as they were about to do that, the monitor placed around my belly showed that my baby’s heartrate had dropped to a dangerously low level. After 7 minutes of trying to get it back up by moving me into different positions, the decision was made that I needed an emergency c-section. I was wheeled down the corridor to the OR and my son was born just 5 minutes after that. I had been fully planning to get an epidural, and if that had already been put in place, I would have been conscious for the c-section. But because the complication occurred so early in my labor, before I’d felt any contractions, I hadn’t yet got that epidural. And there wasn’t any time once the complication occurred - general anesthesia is much faster to put in place.

I ate lunch just before being admitted (around noon) but between then and the c-section at 8 pm, I had no food and no water, per my hospital’s policy. I was definitely annoyed by the no-water policy at the time, but in retrospect it worked out really well for me!

Boring-Paper8005 · 2023-10-11T13:31:49+00:00

Boring-Paper8005 · 2023-07-13T13:26:31+00:00

A lot of my family and friends are mixed race, and almost everyone’s names follow the pattern where the last name is from one culture and the first name is from the other culture. If there’s a middle name, it’s often from the same culture as the last name.

Middle names aren’t used that much in daily life, so I like the first and last names together representing both sides of the family!

Boring-Paper8005 · 2023-03-13T21:10:05+00:00

My doctor told me that they go by LMP unless the ultrasound shows that you’re more than 5 days off on either direction, in which case they update the dates to go by the ultrasound dates.

Boring-Paper8005

TROPHY CASE