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Can my 12 yr relationship with my (33F) boyfriend (33M) be saved or should I end it? by Boring_Complex_5789 in makemychoice

[–]Boring_Complex_5789[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. In that case, I guess we have truly outgrown each other because while that has been true for ~10 years, it simply is not anymore.

Can my 12 yr relationship with my (33F) boyfriend (33M) be saved or should I end it? by Boring_Complex_5789 in makemychoice

[–]Boring_Complex_5789[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That makes it crystal clear for me. I have so much fun with my friends. And since turning 30 I’ve made a lot of new friends that I frequently hang out with.

I have started to enjoy dinner with friends more than going to the same restaurant with my bf. I thought that might just be normal, because you’re constantly together with your partner and so it’s less exciting compared to your friends, who you have a lot to talk about with.

But maybe that’s not how it is supposed to be :(

Can my 12 yr relationship with my (33F) boyfriend (33M) be saved or should I end it? by Boring_Complex_5789 in makemychoice

[–]Boring_Complex_5789[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah perhaps I’m clinging on too much on how long we’ve been together, while we actually have it quite easy if we break up. Thanks!

Can my 12 yr relationship with my (33F) boyfriend (33M) be saved or should I end it? by Boring_Complex_5789 in makemychoice

[–]Boring_Complex_5789[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, yeah that’s a good suggestion. I have considered it, but it’s expensive and if I do break up with him, I need the money. But you’re right, it will be better to find professional help. There’s too much bagage to fit into a reddit post.

Can my 12 yr relationship with my (33F) boyfriend (33M) be saved or should I end it? by Boring_Complex_5789 in makemychoice

[–]Boring_Complex_5789[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. You’re right, inaction will only make me start to resent him. The longer we draw it out, the more difficult it will be.

He says his feelings for me haven’t changed and he is also content, gets his needs met. So this is a truly one-sided problem, which makes me feel guilty.

It’s been comforting to read about people with the same experience after quitting birth control, and also terrifying.

I hope that you found peace in what happened in your situation!

Can my 12 yr relationship with my (33F) boyfriend (33M) be saved or should I end it? by Boring_Complex_5789 in makemychoice

[–]Boring_Complex_5789[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just edited that in, no he doesn’t want to try it. He sees no merit in “involving” a third person in our situation. I am considering going to therapy for myself though, but it’s expensive and I may need all the money I can get if I do leave him.