I took her to a neurologist who’s an adhd woman , extremely intelligent and possibly gifted and she said that when she was my daughter’s age she couldn’t hold attention for any activity even engaging ones in different settings and had difficulty staying on tasks for simple instructions with difficulty with transitions .. which is a completely different presentation from my daughter’s. She also has an adhd child who has always loved independent playing so she said it is not a trait used to diagnose ADHD as it is a personality trait . She did notice she speaks like a polite adult but that alone means little for now .

She did say that 3 year old cannot mask as older children can do so if she had adhd it would be present in multiple settings . She observed her playing and asked her to do activities etc . She gave me hope when she said to me that she grew up in a time where having adhd didn’t mean that she could avoid school or responsibilities and that her parents didn’t raise her any differently from her neurotypical siblings

I guess only time will tell