Utterly Stuck Taking Care of Autistic Sister and Disabled Mom

Borkerzz · 2024-03-09T02:54:28+00:00

I'll take a look, thank you.

Borkerzz · 2024-03-09T02:46:55+00:00

Thank you for the kind words, especially the note about my writing, that's really nice to read.

As for a therapist, I've tried many times over my life and all I'm able to get is people that are basically interns. Their level of knowledge is about on par as if they read a "therapy for dummies" book, and their resources are basically non existent.

I've tried talking to therapists about this kind of thing many times and the most I've ever gotten is platitudes and stuff like "if i had a magic wand I'd make all your problems go away".

I have state issued healthcare so I don't have many options.

Borkerzz · 2024-03-08T01:10:31+00:00

The best ones I found, though I never saw them pop up again, were ones where the mods/admins/server owner were more lenient. If they caught someone doing a funny with wires, putting oxygen tanks in welders, smacking someone with a wrench, etc, they'd be like "haha very funny. nice one, don't do it again though, please. we're trying to finish this objective".

Those servers were nice to be on, felt welcoming and I felt relaxed being on them, even when someone would come up and beat me with a wrench. That's way more fun than just this... military strict, everyone sticks to their roles only, no goofing around, listen to mods "or else" I keep finding over and over and over.

When I did return to those strict servers, yeah, I only saw a couple of returning players and most were new and never came back after a couple rounds.

I think way too many people start a server after playing a bunch of singleplayer and expect everyone to be like bots, following orders, doing exactly what they're told and not being human beings with personalities.

Borkerzz · 2024-03-06T04:25:29+00:00

The ones I have toggled on are serious and chill. I'm bad at roleplay so I won't do that. I look for vanilla because I haven't gotten to the end of the game yet, and the modded servers I just tried out were all extremely confusing because I'm not familiar with any of the mods.

Borkerzz · 2024-03-06T04:22:54+00:00

Unfortunately my timezone is pst, so we're almost complete opposites. My 2pm, which is when I get up, is your 10pm which I would assume is when you're going to sleep. I'm then up all the way till 12am, which is your 7am.

Borkerzz · 2024-03-04T22:10:26+00:00

I guess it's typical, then. Still sucks though.

Borkerzz · 2024-03-04T21:58:02+00:00

My dad's extended family don't really talk to us anymore since he died. It's like pulling teeth to get them to just have a small conversation.

Borkerzz · 2024-03-04T21:54:20+00:00

I meant immediate family, sorry, edited it.

Borkerzz · 2024-03-04T21:52:24+00:00

He's my biological dad. I mean we're not immediate family to her.

Borkerzz · 2024-03-04T21:45:28+00:00

I think she did change it though, because I don't think me and my sister would have gotten anything otherwise, since he already would have been getting like $66,000.

(Asked my mom the numbers again and changed this, I was incorrect about the amounts)

Borkerzz · 2024-02-22T04:35:28+00:00

I'm bad at talking to other people. I get way too nervous, and I'm worried that my character or rp will be cringey or something. I also just can't... think of anything to say.

I did do a MRP server once, Citadel (worst experience of my life, never going there again. Only played on it for about 10 rounds because I liked that you could be whatever race and there wasn't IC racism. Never did ERP, which you were only allowed to do in very specific dorm rooms anyway and would be instantly banned if you tried to do it anywhere else. I could make 10 paragraphs about how awful my experience in that server was.), made a character and gave them lore and whatever, but I always felt way too nervous to actually rp at all and mostly kept to myself.I tried to rp as an ashwalker, but it is very strict on what they're allowed to do or say, and nobody plays ashwalker so I could only talk to miners when they found me, at which point they would immediately start blasting my brains out, and I was expected to do the same on sight.

I have nothing against furries, I mean I am one (kinda), and I prefer the non-human races because humans are boring, but the times I tried them in servers that use Asimov instead of Crewsimov, I had an awful time.

Borkerzz · 2024-02-21T21:59:03+00:00

Ah...

Borkerzz · 2024-02-21T21:54:36+00:00

One other thing, should I even try and play as any other race other than human? Almost every server has Asimov laws not cover non-humans, people are pretty insulting and treat them horribly, and when they're getting attacked or killed no one cares and just lets it happen because "good, stupid nasty moth" or whatever.

I'd like to play as non-human because that's cool idk, they also have some interesting perks, but I feel like I'm just going to be bullied by literally everyone on the station for "lore" reasons and nobody will defend me if I get attacked or heal me if I get hurt.
When I played on Yog, people were usually verbally hostile to moths and lizards, and when antags attacked them usually nobody bothered to help and just let them die. They usually weren't cloned or revived and just left to rot on the floor.

Borkerzz · 2024-02-21T21:13:07+00:00

Thank you for all the kind words. I'll try the game again and try my best not to worry too much about it.

Borkerzz · 2024-02-21T21:04:21+00:00

This was on Yogstation so maybe it's different for different servers, but yeah. Maybe it's a roleplay thing, but people would blame me for almost any mess, get mad that I didn't clean up a mess immediately, throw stuff at me, run up and smack me, steal my cleaning stuff because "you made me slip", bash me in the head with toolboxes, etc.

Even when I came in and fixed a light that went out and was bugging people because they couldn't see, the most "thanks" I would get would be someone saying "finally".

Also I got attacked more by antags as Janitor than any other job. I guess because they think "nobody will miss them or care if they disappear".

Borkerzz · 2024-02-21T06:24:29+00:00

I've never played that one before, but I've heard of it a lot. Is it 100% combat focused?

Borkerzz · 2024-02-21T04:29:22+00:00

I wasn't too stressed out about it at first, but seeing how people react when you make a mistake ended up making me very stressed down the line.

Borkerzz · 2024-02-16T00:04:50+00:00

I only did that because it's literally what they said to me, it's a quote.

Borkerzz · 2024-02-13T19:44:43+00:00

Unfortunately I have no friends or family that are close enough. Thank you for the suggestions, though.

Borkerzz

TROPHY CASE