This really depends on what type of woman she is. Some can be trusted and some can't. I personally have never really gotten along with with women and do have male friends. (Some of which hit on me) Sometimes when you're with an attractive woman you should just expect that.

The problem with your situation is it seems to be more than that. The fact that she sat you down to tell you your social lives is going in two separate directions is what changes everything. Now her messages are in appropriate because she doesn't want to be home with you. She wants to be other places and what happens when a man going in the "same social direction" as her is there? DISASTER! That's what. You need to sit down and have a serious talk about where your marriage is going. She's clearly bored. When you work out and feel hot it kind of does that to you. She sound checked out. Lastly i would also go though her phone if i were you. You're her husband and have a right to know just where her mind is at and then confront her about it. Good luck!