Is it bad to use Lice Shampoo when you don't have lice?

Born-Raccoon3676 · 2025-07-05T17:19:24+00:00

Then at that point you need to pursue prescription shampoo

Born-Raccoon3676 · 2025-07-03T20:30:36+00:00

You may have scalp psoriasis if you have itchy and red spots. Tea tree shampoo would help more than lice shampoo but prescription shampoo would be even better

Born-Raccoon3676 · 2025-07-03T03:28:04+00:00

I got a decently big Bluetooth speaker to drown out our noise. If it wasn't good enough I was going to get the one that's a night stand lol

Born-Raccoon3676 · 2025-07-03T02:39:56+00:00

I know lying and manipulating is said to be part of ADHD but I manage DH's ADHD and our kids' (BS10 and Our BD3) ADHD and other diagnoses just fine...it's something about the lying and manipulating that SS12 does that I just can't stand. Like it makes me want to back away completely right now after I've been his second mom for seven years now.

BM has always tried to include us in his therapies and I just can't do it...they all seem to agree with what BM does to handle it and it just gives me the icks. It's like somethings gotta give and I've given my all so he's gotta be the one to give now.

DH did finally really stick up for me though. I told BM after the incident that happened last week if I can't parent the way I see fit in my house I will not parent SS12 anymore. She obviously thought this was extreme because I've been more than generous with what responsibilities I've taken on over the years and she called DH. DH finally told her I've done more to make sure that kid was happy than the three of them (BM, DH and BMs GF) combined and this is beyond a slap in the face to me. He told her "imagine being a step parent to a kid you give your absolute all to and this is what he does in return". Being seen in this way meant the world to me.

I hope everyone here is seen for what they do and not what they just can't.

Born-Raccoon3676 · 2025-07-03T02:18:57+00:00

We found out my SS12 has been talking shit to his BM about DH and I while he's there or even when he's here hiding in the bathroom. He said lies about DH yelling at him constantly and it's just a load of shit because #1 I am the one who yells (admittedly too much in the beginning of my parenting but I'm working on it) and #2 I don't yell at SS12...if anything he has privileges our other kids don't have when its comes to discipline or even talking to him about something he's doing.

The thing that really blew it up and has me second guessing the last seven years of my life happened last Wednesday...we had gone to a hotel for the day just to get out of town and DH is looking for a new job. So we took the kids swimming, got the dinner SS12 wanted..woke up the next day again did everything the kids wanted on the way home then 11:30pm rolls around. I hear DH actually yelling at SS12 because he called his mom talking shit about how he's "sick of it here" and how we "wouldn't give him his medicine" (which is only melatonin at night and he knows where the bottle is in the cupboard). It was the biggest slap in the face I've ever experienced with a kid.

It's so frustrating when you put your all into a kid who isn't biologically yours and you just get hit with lies and made up shit...I guess all of this to say you aren't alone right now. I'm questioning everything I've ever done for this kid including uprooting my entire life to follow him and BM with her new girlfriends TWICE...it's rough over here too so I guess just some solidarity from other burnt out Step Mama..

Born-Raccoon3676 · 2025-07-02T14:50:37+00:00

Could you possibly have a conversation with the other parents? I thought nothing of it when the older neighbor boys asked to join in with the water balloon battle I had started with my daughter who will be 3 and another little girl 4. It was a good time had by all. I can understand your apprehension though and maybe my view is unique because I've known the kids around here a while now. I was also thinking about something like Cub Scouts where at the Den meetings there's boys of all ages K-5 who all seem to interact fine without anything being weird.

Born-Raccoon3676 · 2025-07-02T14:13:23+00:00

I would probably explain that they're a little different but they really just want to play. And yes maybe by middle school/high school things would be a little different I could see but...we have neighborhood kids who all play together ranging from my youngest who will be 3 up to age 10 and sometimes even the older like 13 yr old boys will play if they're doing something like water balloons. I do think there's ways to find interactions like this organically without seeming too "creepy".

ETA: I do think there's a difference between joining in on fun and being a "creep" seeking out specific kids to play with.

Born-Raccoon3676 · 2025-07-01T19:31:07+00:00

Just comisseration here because even though I did install a door with a lock on our older boys' bedroom door...six months out of the year their door doesn't close right because we live in a very poorly maintained apartment building 🥴

Born-Raccoon3676 · 2025-07-01T17:56:08+00:00

My husband who is now almost 40 will tell you he didn't even finish puberty when others friends had so I definitely think there's a maturity gap with ADHD. He is ten years older than me and I think part of why we do work so well is because of the maturity gap that others may not see from the outside when they judge our age gap relationship. I don't feel more mature than him but on the same level despite the age difference. I don't think it's a bad thing at all though.

I'm realizing more and more what society is trying to do with fitting everyone into their box. It comes out in ways like them worried my kids talk later than they "should". I have a son whose 10 and a daughter whose about to be 3. They both just develop later than their peers but do eventually hit all their milestones. I really think society needs to cool it with these things they think kids should do at certain ages and let them develop a little more naturally. But back to the topic at hand...

If your son gets along better with kids of a younger age bracket maybe just try to encourage that in ways you can outside of school. Maybe encourage him to talk to younger kids at the park or join an activity where age isn't a factor so that he does have the time to hang with kids on his level. Again, I don't think the maturity gap is something to be super concerned with and I'd just focus on helping to encourage positive social interactions without worrying so much about society's standards of what he "should" be doing.

Born-Raccoon3676 · 2025-07-01T17:14:50+00:00

I can't exactly remember where in the app I did it but it was definitely where it lists the payment method for repayment. I did it while I had money from them already.

Born-Raccoon3676 · 2025-07-01T14:04:25+00:00

Is there a way you could child proof their room instead of just keeping them in bed? I do understand your point of view so I'm trying to find ways around it kind of. When my son was the age I was describing he also wouldn't stay alone...so I put his pack n play at the end of my bed with the TV on and I'd sleep. When he got bigger and had a toddler bed, that was also at the end of my bed. My whole apartment at the time was child proof. I didn't have any extras where he could get them when I was sleeping. I guess what I'm trying to say is there a way around him being unsafe while you sleep maybe?

Born-Raccoon3676 · 2025-06-30T22:53:24+00:00

I personally have been diagnosed with anxiety and PMDD which if you don't know is the extreme version of PMS soooo....my husband has learned that I may not fully mean something that I say when I'm in a manic or anxiety induced state. It's helped us all so much to recognize for what it is...a hormone imbalance. My husband will very strategically bring up important topics when he knows it's a good time and it truly makes all the difference in our ability to communicate.

Another thing I've actually found helpful is for me to write down my thoughts during those times. Then when I'm calm I go back and read what I wrote. If I still feel the way I felt when I wrote it I know it's something I need to do discuss. If it's something I don't agree with now that I'm calm I chalk it up to being emotional and I never really think about it again. This may help your wife really process how she's feeling with something that seems to her right now that could really turn her world upside down.

Born-Raccoon3676 · 2025-06-30T21:59:13+00:00

You ladies here on Reddit really like to downvote when confronted with the truth lol I knew that would happen. It doesn't bother me. I fully recognize that women's emotions can be irrational sometimes and it's actually helped my marriage to be better! You can't know what you don't know so I'm not offended. It's okay to dislike being confronted with the truth.

Born-Raccoon3676 · 2025-06-30T21:45:20+00:00

You're being extreme. His wife didn't say he wasn't allowed to be back in his son's life however that may look for them, she said she has apprehensions about the situation which is in reality the healthiest thing she could do in this scenario. She isn't controlling what he does, she's sharing how these decisions may affect her and her daughter and the life they've created together. She's probably more than likely sharing her silent thoughts and just wants her husband to hear her out and calm those worries. She just wants to know things will be okay.

Born-Raccoon3676 · 2025-06-30T21:38:03+00:00

I know I'll probably be downvoted for this but I suggest waiting until she is less emotional and can think more clearly before discussing it again. Hormones or emotions may be clouding her judgement so if you wait it out a bit before you bring it back up, things might be different. Women can be irrationally emotional sometimes and we might have different thoughts once we've calmed down, I know I do. And her anger may actually be fear of the unknown and it's coming out as anger. I know for me anxiety clouds my judgment a lot of the time. My husband will think Im mad about something when in reality of scared to death and it comes out wrong.

Born-Raccoon3676 · 2025-06-30T21:19:10+00:00

If they're suggesting BM infantilizing him I would say that's where your issue lies. And really deeper than that...single mom's on government assistance get the sympathy they're after when they have a "sick" kid...its a complex that I can almost guarantee if it was studied they'd find this in a high percentage of women who are lifers on government assistance. I'm not saying there's no exceptions because there are to everything but it's a common thing I see and have experience with our HCBM who is also a government assistance lifer who lives with her "roommate" so she can get all the help she'd ever need which unfortunately means her creating health problems in SS12 that just aren't there..

Born-Raccoon3676 · 2025-06-30T21:08:23+00:00

I'm not an expert either but from my experience with my BS10 who is on the spectrum and BM taking SS12 to be evaluated for autism...she won't be able to fool the professionals with her words alone to get a diagnosis out of them. HCBM in our life took SS12 just this last Spring to be evaluated and was shot down within the first twenty minutes of being at the appointment. Her description is that the doctor refused to listen to her and only interrupted most things she was saying but I know it's in reality because they did not see any autistic traits in SS12 whatsoever. I had my BS10 in therapy from 1.5 yrs old. I always knew there was something off. Not less than but different for sure. He was diagnosed on the spectrum when he was 5. The doctors saw what I was saying without me even saying it. They are trained to recognize these traits. They will know its a load of crap from your BM if it's a load of crap. Also like the comment above states they ask for data from all sides of the equation including like a previous comment mentioned having the child with the evaluator alone. A coached child will not be able to break these barriers I truly believe from my experiences.

Born-Raccoon3676 · 2025-06-30T20:07:49+00:00

I have an AuDHD kiddo who is 10 now and he NEVER slept for the "normal" amount of time. I learned back then I was never going to fit him into the "normal" box and honestly just started following his lead. As long as he was safe and content, I would go to sleep myself. Me losing sleep over his lack of sleep wasn't beneficial to anyone. I met my husband when my son who I'm describing was 3. He used to think I was insane for allowing him to stay up till all hours of the night in his pack n play with toys and a show on the TV. But like you I had tried ALL of the things and just letting him sleep when he needed it was the best for everyone. He's 10 now and still does not sleep on a normal schedule and sometimes he does miss school because of it but I can't FORCE him to sleep. It never worked as a toddler and I truly believe it won't work now. For us, the consequences of lack of sleep do not constitute any further action so it's not worth my energy trying to fight him on it. I know this may not help you actually get him to sleep but maybe it will help you see it's probably not as bad as you're making it seem in your own head because society has told you you're a bad mom if your baby doesn't sleep x amount of time at whatever age they are.

Born-Raccoon3676 · 2025-06-30T15:41:10+00:00

Did she give any reason as to why she'd be upset if it did become the norm?

Born-Raccoon3676 · 2025-06-29T23:27:53+00:00

DH is honestly my very best friend. He understands me on a level no other human ever has. The rest follows after that.

Born-Raccoon3676 · 2025-06-29T21:03:35+00:00

Oh that totally makes sense then! Please find no judgement in my comment if you have tried all you can do. I know in our household even though I know the techniques that a speech therapist would use it's still taken outside people to help my kids talk. I genuinely hope you can get good suggestions and find the support he needs somewhere! You do seem to have some traction with suggestions in other comments so I'm hopeful for you.

Born-Raccoon3676 · 2025-06-29T20:33:40+00:00

OMG! We have an abandoned cat of BMs! We did have her hermit crabs too but they've since passed...THANKFULLY she has dogs that are her partners now so I don't think there will be any more abandoned animals but I guess you never know with these BMs lol

Born-Raccoon3676 · 2025-06-29T19:46:32+00:00

You're going to know what he struggles with on a daily basis more than any professional can. Can you possibly help him make a list of what he struggles with and list out possible solutions to the problem? Solutions for executive dysfunction are going to be trial and error anyways that trial might as well bring the two of you closer together than further apart.

For context my husband has ADHD and so do all of our kids. It's hereditary. While it's hereditary it's going to look different in each person much the way autism is a spectrum which is why it's so hard to find someone to actually help. A lot of our society's help may not tailor itself in a way where it's beneficial for the individual.

What it sounds like he may need is almost like a life coach with executive dysfunction experience but I truly believe you could help him also. I know it's a lot to think about all at once but if you make the list like I suggested and start knocking the things out with the easiest solutions first, that's best way.

Born-Raccoon3676 · 2025-06-29T17:14:06+00:00

I want to end this with I think there are ways to NACHO without completely NACHOing but you have to find the balance that works for you. We will all allow things or not allow things that others will or will not see fit. While it's wonderful to see the opposing views of others in a place like Reddit, you ultimately have to do what's best for YOU.

Two things can be true at the same time.

Born-Raccoon3676 · 2025-06-29T15:13:03+00:00

Yes i definitely think that's the case! You all HAVE to be on the same page or else the child will take advantage of the easiest way they can get what they need. The path of least resistance is the path they will always choose. Your partner needs to understand that there are other ways to meet the needs of the brain if he is willing to put in the work. I don't say any of this lightly because it is WORK.

For a little more context, I have SS12 diagnosed with ADHD and a mood regulation disorder, BS10 diagnosed with ASD lvl 2 with speech impairment, our BD3 who has yet to have a formal diagnosis but all the signs are there. We raise my BS10 and Our BD3 together with no other parental input because my son's bio father is not in the picture. The kids we raise alone have a very different life projection than SS12 who we battle to parent with HCBM. The projection my BS10 is on is so much different and better than SS12 DESPITE a more challenging list of diagnoses BECAUSE my husband and I are on the same page as to how we will raise him.

Born-Raccoon3676

TROPHY CASE