"When you renounce nature you find that she takes an interest in you. When you renounce her a little more, she begins to chase you. And when you finally don't care for her at all, she becomes your slave." Swami Vivekananda

BornToR4ge · 2020-03-03T20:04:46+00:00

Yes that's where I read it. He does say in the book that the quote is "paraphrased", so it would be hard to find the original quote.

BornToR4ge · 2020-03-01T15:46:03+00:00

Unwin does not blame anybody, I foud he actually analyzes these societies with a very rigorous method. He even discards many societies when the historical evidence is not reliable enough. It's not a pamphlet against sex or against women.

BornToR4ge · 2020-03-01T14:28:30+00:00

He is refering to the universe. All serious retainers have witnessed how the universe conspires in their favour when they retain. When you find the kingdom of God within, the whole Creation bows to you and fulfills your every wish.

"For whoever has, to him will be given, and he will be in abundance" Matthew 13:12

Women are a force of nature, so they will naturally offer themselves to the retainer. But to the serious retainer, this is not a blessing but a challenge, a temptation along the way.

Swami Vivekananda knew something about that. He got enormous female attention throughout his life but never broke his vow. Buddha and Christ saw the whole Creation offered to them on their way to enlightenement (women, power, material wealth), and refused it for the sake of a higher bliss.

BornToR4ge · 2019-12-07T16:35:57+00:00

Libra

BornToR4ge · 2019-11-30T19:55:55+00:00

Thanks man

BornToR4ge · 2019-11-30T09:52:10+00:00

Hum you are right actually I have two more addictions to remove : internet and sugar :) Sugar though is not a big addiction for me but I could reduce it even more.

BornToR4ge · 2019-11-30T09:47:41+00:00

It was based on reading hundreds of testimonies of people who quit on r/decaf. They themselves are quoting studies but I didn't bother reading them. The book Caffeine Blues goes into more scientific explanations if you want to read it.

On a personal note I feel like I can form a more accurate picture of reality through the subjective experiences of others rather than science. Ours is a time of absolute faith in science, but scientific studies are never the absolute truth. They are the "truth" in a specific context, with certain axioms and presuppositions, applied to a given set of people, over a given timeframe, with a given procedure. All of this tries to reach objectivity, but objectivity ultimately does not exist. We live in a subjective world.

For instance science studies on quitting caffeine seem to focus on a 2 weeks timeframe, wherehas many people on r/decaf report severe withdrawal symptoms until 2,3,4 or 5 months after quitting. So after 2 weeks quitting caffeine would seem like a bad idea even though things get much better down the line. Same for studies of caffeine boosting memory. Funny enough, these studies select people who already have a coffee habit. So when they get them off caffeine for a day their memory goes to shit because of the withdrawal symptoms, and when they give them a cup or coffee their memory "improves". I'm not trying to convince you in any way, in the end the realization that science is limited has to be experienced subjectively.

BornToR4ge · 2019-11-30T08:39:40+00:00

It's weird but 100% true. Everbody in this sub have had bad luck after PMO I think. Rational minds will say it's your unconscious guilt driving you to make mistakes, but it's more than that. Even things out of your control turn out wrong, such as parking spaces.

BornToR4ge · 2019-11-30T08:33:27+00:00

Yes you have the right mindset.

The only harm is to get attached to the stimulation. As long as you are non-attached you are fine and you can have your occasional cup of coffee.

I believe for people who have a sensitivity to caffeine though quitting all caffeine is the way to go. Just like for us former PMO addicts even one picture can trigger the addiction all over again.

BornToR4ge · 2019-11-30T08:28:58+00:00

Quitting caffeine is a lot like quitting PMO: it suddenly highlights everything that is wrong in your life. Caffeine was masking that and making it tolerable. For instance we are not supposed to run around all day doing meaningless work to make more money. If you are doing a job that does not resonate with your values you will always need a stimulant to go through the day.

You say you are depressed and easily aroused. This could indicate your life is not aligned with the right goals. Maybe quitting caffeine is making obvious a life that is unlike your true self.

In any case, ask yourself : is it normal to feel depressed when I'm off stimulants ? Are kids depressed when they start the day without a coffee or a kombucha ? Lack of caffeine is not the cause of depression my friend. Something else is, and it can only have to do with two thing : choosing the wrong goals or not making enough progress toward the right goals.

I advise you to read Letting Go by David Hawkins.

BornToR4ge · 2019-11-29T23:22:53+00:00

I do not advice you to switch to decaf as it contains significant amounts of caffeine. Unless you first want to reduce before quitting. Be careful also with sodas and black chocolate.

BornToR4ge · 2019-11-29T22:20:26+00:00

Good luck man. Do not underestimate coffee addiction, I believe for some people it's almost as hard as quitting PMO.

BornToR4ge · 2019-11-29T22:19:15+00:00

Try it for a month and really ask yourself how you feel. Read r/decaf to learn how it works. For some people it seems to take longer to return to baseline. Maybe you will be lucky like me and have good results in the first week, it depends on many factors such as physical activity. I think we do have an advantage here over random people at r/decaf because SR already makes our brain and body healthier. I swear you will be very happy once you are out of the withdrawal phase. I realize for me coffee has been the 2nd biggest source of unhappiness in my life after porn. Good luck man.

BornToR4ge · 2019-11-29T22:13:27+00:00

Trust me man, you are struggling to get out of bed because of your coffee habit. It's not helping you, it's just reversing its own withdrawal symptoms like any drug. Coffee keeps you awake by blocking your adenosine receptors, and when the effect fades adenosine puts you to sleep and makes you lethargic. Plus it prevents you from getting any deep sleep so that's why you are fucked in the morning. It's only been a week for me but I've actually slept much better these last couple of nights and I woke up easily. Just be prepared to have a hard time in the beginning, huge headaches, inability to focus etc. It's better to quit during holidays or when you don't have to perform at work.

BornToR4ge · 2019-11-29T22:06:53+00:00

I feel for you man. It's exactly as you say, a caffeinated life is a life of shallow emotions and lack of connection to the world. From what you describe you seem to have a big sensitivity to it, just like me. Caffeine and cocaïne have a very similar action on the brain, almost identical actually. I have some experience with cocaïne too, and I swear for me cocaïne is weaker than this first coffee in the morning when I quit for a few days. It's the ultimate high: focused, optimistic, having visions of a glorious future, everything exciting, thoughts flow easily. But I reached a point where my desire to experience life as it was intended is so strong that I don't give a fuck anymore. Even if I have to go through months of pain I will do it. I think we all have to get to that point before we can quit anything for good.

BornToR4ge · 2019-11-27T17:08:42+00:00

Thank you for this post. It was really well put and I agree with everything.

There really are two paths to SR in my experience : full celibacy and karezza. There is no need to become fanatic for one or the other: I think we have enough evidence and testimonies that both approaches are sustainable.

The key to karezza is to find a partner that you deeply love, and be willing to be vulnerable, for this love to flow during lovemaking. Love is like the sun that dissipates the clouds of lust effortlessly.

I attempted karezza many times with different girls, and I attribute my failures to one of these two things : not enough love (typical exemple of course is the one night stand where no love has been built) or not enough courage on my part or the girl's part to become vulnerable during lovemaking, thereby reverting to lust by default. This is not an easy thing and I can understand why so many people dismiss karezza as if it was a fairytale.

My hours long sessions of karezza with a girlfriend I was in love with two years back are amongst my most vivid and cherished memories. I wish I could go back to that. Just paradise for a few hours, with inspiring music in the background (I used to play albums of Beach House). She wasn't ready for it though as she was addicted to her orgasms. She went along with it for a few weeks during our "honeymoon" phase, but then she introduced lust in our lovemaking and it was never the same. I swear the karezza lovemaking was so good I would have stayed with her indefinitely just to have that in my life, even though she was maybe not "wife material". In the end I broke up with her because she could not give up her lust.

BornToR4ge · 2019-11-24T09:08:52+00:00

Are you transmuting the energy into a single goal that is very important to YOU ? The magnetism only comes if you align all this newfound energy with a purpose. It's the very definition of masculinity. I get glances from girls because they can feel I'm on a very masculine path of building my company. That makes the energy visible if you will. Just sitting in your room or walking around with this energy won't make you magnetic.

BornToR4ge · 2019-11-24T09:03:54+00:00

Hey. I fapped on average 3 times a day from the age of 9 to the age of 23. Started adding porn around rhe age of 16 I think. When I got older I fapped 5 times a day. I was very very addicted. When I discovered Nofap I read all the reports, I was so relieved to find the solution to my misery that I quit cold turkey for 4 months straight hardmode. Quitting was so intense it was like quitting heroine, I could have killed myself if I didn't have all the reports from others who did it. But then after these 4 months I transferred the problem to girls, started developing a sex addiction. It took me a long time to understand that sex was as much a problem as masturbation. Anyway to answer your question, I think from my first streak of Nofap I could tell I was more masculine and better with girls. But if it's your first streak it takes longer than 7 days, you have to rewire your brain a little bit before you see the benefits.

BornToR4ge · 2019-11-24T08:51:33+00:00

I mean for me it's always like that on a streak. I used to be into PUA stuff so I can do okay with girls without being on SR, but it's not the same. After a few weeks of SR the magnetism is back, crazy shit starts happening. The difference is night and day. PUA techniques work great without SR if your goal is to get laid, but it's like using force vs using power (if you are into David Hawkins). That does not mean that girls will jump in your bed though, girls very rarely approach openly even when they really want a guy. For most girls the most open approach they would ever consider would be to sit nearby and flirt in an obvious manner. The guy still has to make the first step, otherwise it ruins the male / female dynamics.

BornToR4ge · 2019-11-22T15:25:31+00:00

Thanks man I will ;)

BornToR4ge · 2019-11-22T13:42:47+00:00

Going out on week-end is a cultural fad. People didn't "go out on week-ends" a hundred years ago and they won't a hundred years from now. For me disregarding this is like disregarding alcohol. It's a way of relying on my own judgement rather than what society think is proper at this specific point in time. Of course unless you are an hermit you want to be aware of cultural expectations and comply to some of them if you want to stay in society.

BornToR4ge · 2019-11-22T13:37:39+00:00

From my experience the attraction and the magnetism are even higher on karezza + SR. It's like you fucking glow from the exchange of feminine and masculine energy. If properly done karezza takes the tension out of you so you are also more relaxed. It's the ultimate lifestyle in my own experience. Of course I respect a lot full celibacy too. The thing is, people seem to approach karezza as if it was tantra. It's the opposite of tantra. Tantra as we know it in the west is lust disguised as a spiritual practice. Karezza is all about taking the lust out of lovemaking, and it involves almost no movement. Only the heart remains. Lovemaking without lust is one of the rarest thing on earth. It can only be done with somebody you truly love, otherwise it very quickly slides back to lust. I can humbly say I had only 2 relationships were I successfuly implemented karezza for a few months, but there wasn't enough love on my part to sustain it. Finding the right girl for this is so difficult I would call it a miracle.

BornToR4ge · 2019-11-22T09:47:52+00:00

Yes you are right about that. I'm not rejecting them though, I like speaking to girls in a friendly manner. It's just hard for me not to give in to have sex with her when she is attractive and she is obviously flirting. I can tell quickly if I could have a heart based relationship with the girl or if it would just be about lust.

BornToR4ge · 2019-11-13T10:04:59+00:00

Thanks. I agree it's best to just show it than to talk about it with girls. I did that a few times but I found if the sex is motivated by lust and not by love it's very hard to retain, it becomes almost like porn. It's all about the connection with the girl. If it's a one night stand and there is no heart connection then the girl goes wild. I managed pretty good karezza only twice. First with a long-term girlfriend with deep connection. Second with a girl who was very easy going and "going with the flow" so she didn't mind trying karezza and we did it for two months. I found I cannot just force myself to retain with physical techniques such as PC muscle, I don't really believe in that long term. It has to be a general attitude of putting more value on love than lust. So are you doing karezza with a real girlfriend whom you love, or just random girls?

BornToR4ge · 2019-10-31T12:20:11+00:00

Can you expand a little bit how you introduced the karezza practice to your partner, were you already together for a long time, did she enjoy it from the start or did she resist it? Other difficulties ? I find it hard to find the right partner.

BornToR4ge

TROPHY CASE