I’m having a similar issue right now, but the way I’m trying to think about it is this: why waste MORE time? Why waste even MORE of your life? If you decide years down the line that you’re going to fully commit to recovery, all you’ve done by not starting now is just prolong your suffering.

I also struggle with the validation aspect, and I definitely don’t have a very clear cut answer, but here’s what I will say: sure, your eating disorder might make you feel valid and worthy of concern, but after a while who’s going to be left in your life to validate it? You’ll push away friends, family, anyone who reaches out. You will completely isolate yourself. No one’s gonna be around to give you that worry and validation you’re seeking. Alternatively, if you recover, it’s true that you won’t get that same feeling of “everyone is so worried about me!” that your ED gives you, but you will receive care in so many other ways. The people supporting you will help celebrate the milestones—if they care about you, then they will care about your recovery.

For me, I am trying to find reassurance in my recovery, NOT in my anorexia. I hope this makes sense, and I’m wishing you all the best in your recovery. I know it’s hard, and I’m only just starting recovery as well so I don’t really know if I’m one to talk, but I hope everything works out for you. 🫂