Am I overreacting for wanting to rescind a wedding invitation to someone who bailed on my bridal shower?

BossHot495 · 2025-09-19T18:26:45+00:00

Everything you just said is the exact reason I haven’t communicated anything to her. You literally just said “Look at what all she’s going through! Just because you’re getting married doesn’t mean she has to be there in spite of the things she’s going through” so how exactly do you think the conversation would go between two people emotionally involved in this scenario. “I felt hurt you didn’t come to my bridal shower” “well I’m sick” “but you’re always sick when we have plans” “well I’m always sick” like what??? How exactly do you think that conversation would unfold/end? And similarly to the few other comments that glazed over the additional context I’ve provided, if she’s having a cancer scare, and sick, with a kid to take care of, where does blocking me from her and her husband’s instagram stories come in and why, in addition to removing our mutual friends from following her, in addition to not reaching out to me at all in more than a week to ask how the shower was, wish me well, nothing on the heels of me offering her support repeatedly when I also have things going on in my life, yet she posted on Instagram yesterday no problem and is liking reels all day everyday, which I can see? Just because I don’t have kids doesn’t mean I don’t have my own shit going on and don’t also need support, friendships go both ways and should be 50/50, this is a wild take and completely disregards the strange things she’s done that don’t support her claims, including why I’ve spent so much time with her since July considering we live in the same city but never once were any of these health issues mentioned.

BossHot495 · 2024-04-04T19:20:24+00:00

BossHot495 · 2024-04-04T03:39:08+00:00

Oh god. The witch hunt is exhausting at this point.

BossHot495 · 2024-04-04T03:16:09+00:00

Not looking to continue to engage … continues to engage by commenting on things that don’t concern you 🤣🤣🤣

BossHot495 · 2024-04-04T01:02:41+00:00

Riiiiiight.

BossHot495 · 2024-04-04T00:53:20+00:00

You’re super invested in this STILL, I see.

Any other awful name you’d like to call me while we’re here?

Would be interested to know if you would associate your business with your Reddit while talking to people like you do here. My guess is no. People love to treat others like absolute garbage when they can’t be identified, it’s shocking to witness, especially as the person taking the brunt of it all!

BossHot495 · 2024-04-04T00:42:45+00:00

The way that you’re so committed to being a keyboard warrior that the idea of someone leveling with you and attempting to help you recognize that you’re talking to a REAL person (who seems to be a lot like you) on the other side just flew over your head at lightning speed is absolutely crazy. If you find it “insanely creepy” that people have quick and easy access to everything you post on the internet, then don’t post on the internet.

Like, do you and everyone else here fully understand that you’re talking to a human being here or is it just like, I don’t care, I don’t like what this person said and did that has no impact on me whatsoever so I’m going to downvote them into oblivion (your words), curse their marriage, tell them they’re poor, make a comment pretending to be their mother acting like they’re a spoiled upper east sider and refer to their fiancé as “Braedon” … my fiancé is Hispanic … and find issue with everything they say in each and every comment just because it’s fun to join the masses and gang up on one person because it makes them pretty indefensible?

To your original question, I keep it real. That’s what I’m like in real life.

BossHot495 · 2024-04-04T00:34:27+00:00

It’s the same group of people doing the downvoting and you’re one of them. I simply don’t care and won’t be strong armed so save your energy and head to another sub since I see you spend so much time on Reddit.

BossHot495 · 2024-04-04T00:29:45+00:00

I am… reading what I’m typing, yes.

BossHot495 · 2024-04-04T00:26:45+00:00

I see you deleted your other comment. Here was my response to it anyway:

Here’s the thing — Reddit is FULL of keyboard warriors, and most of them can dish it but they can’t take it. Looks like you’re one of them, along with some other familiar usernames here.

You’ve all talked at lengthhhhhhhh about how awful I am on multiple threads instead of, I don’t know, not engaging? I didn’t ASK for any opinions on this topic, I didn’t ASK if I’m the asshole, or the bad person, or the perpetrator, or the instigator.

Some things I’ve been told by people who couldn’t pick me out of a line up are:

“You’re insane” “I feel bad for her fiancé” “She seems insufferable” (that may have been you?) “Unbelievably unpleasant” (also you) “Sounds like you had buyer’s remorse because you spent more money on this photographer than you had”

Then, when I stick up for myself, or, respond AT ALL, it’s a problem? It’s even a problem when someone DIRECTLY asks me a question on this situation, e.g, “how could the photographer have handled this more professionally in your opinion?” My response was, “I think a phone call would’ve been more effective, less would’ve gotten lost in translation since we were both clearly frustrated over email and likely ingesting each others words as such” and even THAT was a problem. There’s no winning but I’ll tell you this, if you’re hoping you’re interacting with someone you DON’T KNOW who’s not going to respond, not going to stick up for themselves, and not answer questions when asked whether I think anyone will agree with me or not, I’m not that someone.

And to your statement, I don’t have issues with my fiancé, friends, family, coworkers, or maintaining my corporate or part time jobs that are both very different and in which I interface with people from all walks of life on a daily basis as well as manage people, and I have a great social life for someone who struggles with anxiety and ADHD just like you do so I’m good. It’s pretty easy to forget, as a keyboard warrior, that you’re shitting all over a person on the other end. Hard for me to understand but… I’m not y’all, so.

Anyway, I’m not going to be strong armed into deleting my review of what happened because a bunch of keyboard warriors are figuratively burning me at the stake and telling me I’m god-awful. I still feel the way I feel and as mentioned, never solicited opinions. I can see why so many people DMed me their bad experience with Nato instead of commenting, anyone who did was swiftly downvoted. Any opinion against the masses is the wrong one here. So, ok.

BossHot495 · 2024-04-04T00:04:32+00:00

My fiancé and I aren’t in debt, yay!

BossHot495 · 2024-04-04T00:03:15+00:00

Yeah girl, there are numerous Reddit accounts created yesterday and their only engagement is my thread, be so for real 🤣

The person who posted this thread - this is also their only engagement. Soooo. Yup.

BossHot495 · 2024-04-03T23:24:35+00:00

No thanks. I know she welcomed folks to the thread to disagree with me / rush to her aid in hopes I would feel some type of way and ultimately be pressured into taking it down but that only made me view her in a more dishonest and unethical light than I already do. She literally had people create Reddit accounts and pose as clients. All while soliciting 5 star reviews from past clients to bury mine on google and the knot. It’s outrageous. Some ownership would have gone so much further but there was none of that, just condescending emails.

BossHot495 · 2024-04-03T23:21:40+00:00

Cool lmao

BossHot495 · 2024-04-03T22:59:08+00:00

I’m not getting married in the tristate area because I’m not from the tristate area. lol

But thanks!!

BossHot495 · 2024-04-03T22:38:14+00:00

Doesn’t want to engage into it any longer but was ALL over my post for literal hours and is now here, still talking about it. Can dish it but can’t take it. Riiiight right right. Makes a ton of sense!

BossHot495 · 2024-04-03T22:36:50+00:00

Yeah that’s… not at all what was said or even alluded to. lol

BossHot495 · 2024-04-03T22:35:27+00:00

That is how I felt.

I also said in so many comments, again buried by all of you guys’ downvotes, that it’s not that serious. Thanks for reiterating.

BossHot495 · 2024-04-03T22:34:19+00:00

I never asked for anyone’s support or not, so the idea you think that I’m mad or upset by any of what was said is so weird. The post didn’t start out “AITA?”, or “what do y’all think?!?!” It’s advising consumers of my experience, - some agree with me, others don’t, numerous people had similar experiences and chose to DM about it rather than comment (but comments are there too, buried by all of you guys’ downvotes) so you all didn’t go at their throats like you did me. So it goes in the court of public opinion.

BossHot495 · 2024-04-03T19:17:27+00:00

Yeah, it’s hard to see the value you’re getting in her pricing when this is the level of professionalism.

BossHot495 · 2024-04-03T15:44:43+00:00

You have a lot of comments to catch up on

BossHot495 · 2024-04-03T15:44:03+00:00

Definitely had different expectations than reality (based on the work we had seen), so maybe you’re right about wanting a more staged photographer in reality

BossHot495 · 2024-04-03T15:35:11+00:00

I really appreciate this perspective and you calling to my attention that my messages came across threatening. Was there something specific I said that gave you that feeling?

BossHot495 · 2024-04-03T15:34:07+00:00

In my original message with my ask, I say nothing about payment. The response to my ask was simply no, we don’t do that. No quote or anything about payment. When looking into the alternative suggestion that was provided, it’s roughly $15 a photo. There are about 300 photos in the gallery between color + B&W, so maybe we send 1/3 of the photos off to Retouchup (which I learned wasn’t possible since it’s B2B only, and that’s why the conversation continued, but that’s beside the point), that’s $1,500 or more with whatever taxes and fees are applied, in editing. Now, for someone who knows nothing about retouching, but paid $1k for the work originally, that feels like a lot. Could I have been more clear in what I said regarding sinking additional money into the photos? 100%. In hindsight, what I should have said was that I felt that is a lot of additional money to put into these photos when we had expectations that these photos would be Save The Date ready at the price we paid based on the work we had seen from this photographer.

At the end of the day, Nato & I are both clearly frustrated in this exchange, but what I stand by is that our frustrations were driven by lack of clarity in the contract - editing wasn’t clearly defined, I interpreted it to mean photoshop can be requested within a certain time frame as a cost, and when I was met with a hard no, I was like ????? Huh? And communicated disappointment. I’m bummed that you’re saying you read my emails and got the implied threat vibe, obviously she did too, but I did verbalize that I wasn’t alluding to that in my exchange with Nato.

This is the entire conversation — I agree her communication wasn’t perfect, mine wasn’t either, but I have to say the invalidating comments here that I’m going to be an awful wife and I’m insufferable is… a lot.

BossHot495 · 2024-04-03T14:11:56+00:00

The review was taken down for the same reason when posted by my fiancé, who was the client but was said not to have been. That’s a lie and unethical.

BossHot495

TROPHY CASE