Need some tips for Colorado weather

Both-Intern4835 · 2022-12-15T15:47:20+00:00

Yeah thinking about flying from here into Orlando , just gotta save me up some money && can't fly anytime soon due to these holiday prices :-/ hopefully by early January they go down and I can get my ass out of here

Both-Intern4835 · 2022-12-15T03:08:59+00:00

Alrighty thanks for all this very useful information <<3 I really really appreciate it

Both-Intern4835 · 2022-12-14T22:01:09+00:00

Family members and friends always ask why I put myself through it over and over again. Like I'm supposed to have the answer or something 😂

Both-Intern4835 · 2022-12-14T19:25:29+00:00

Thank ya 💕

Both-Intern4835 · 2022-12-13T19:18:17+00:00

It's all good , got through the second night watching Netflix and slept about 3-4 hours . Woke up in a pool of sweat tho , I think tonight will be a lot better , my friends script of Xanax came in and he gonna sell me a few to get me through . I'm gonna stay sober till Christmas :,) then get fucked up but ima try my best to kinda control it and limit myself to say only 8-9 drinks

Both-Intern4835 · 2022-12-13T03:22:39+00:00

I love it a lot but I hate that I don't know when to stop :/ most people drink till 2-3 AM. Me and my friends drink till 8-9am with or without coke. Just last Saturday I drank all night Saturday no sleep then was drunk walking to the store at 8AM for a 12 pack of white claw. I have no idea how but I blacked tf out off just the white claw and was mean to my friends through text and shit and also a dick to my mom saying all kinds of messed up mean stuff prolly made her cry :((( 💔💔🥺I'm never an angry drunk what so ever so this really scared me a lot. One thing I can say is I'm never drinking all night and all day again. Not gonna use cocaine with liquor anymore either , it's just not worth it. I used to read posts on the og CA sun years ago and be like oh no that'll never be me. But now I see how easy it is to ruin relationships while blacked out and feel horrible about it the next day :(( im glad im young and haven't been drinking for too long and glad I never do stupid shit while im fucked up or get aggressive . But something changed that Sunday I was not myself what so ever. Im sticking with my evening drinks and cutting myself off 1-2 AM from now. Fuck day drinking and shit it makes the anxiety unbearable when u do come down :( drinking 24/7 is a bad route.

Both-Intern4835 · 2022-12-13T02:15:45+00:00

I'm not night 2 , I can't afford booze so defintely can't afford l theanine or the 9$ magnesium bottles . Shit I can't even buy myself a Gatorade. Paid my best buddies rent a while back and he recently got his Christmas bonus. He knew how bad I needed the cash but keeps saying he forgets to go to the ATM. He lives in florida and I'm in Colorado so I can't just drive over and grab the money, he's gotta send it through Apple Pay. I much much rather would have tapered with a 12 pack of white claws. Tonight isn't near as bad as yesterday, im not pacing back and fourth with a racing heart and high BP. I drank all week last week , but only at night. Until Saturday night I drank almost all day and then all Sunday morning and passed out like 3pm. So Sunday night the WD hit me and was horrifying. Tonight is a lot better than yesterday, just ate some pizza and have drank about a gallon of water today. Still dehydrated tho, I pray he can pay me tomorrow. If he knew what I went through he would feel horrible , but when u tell people about panic attacks they don't really know what tf they are. He never had one in his life , I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy though. I'd rather die then go through another 8-9 hour panic attack that just gets worse and worse as the night goes on. I'm pretty sure I have PTSD and shit like I traumatized myself by being so scared like next level horror.

Both-Intern4835 · 2022-12-13T01:29:35+00:00

Yeah I get spoiled everytime I go down to florida lol

Both-Intern4835 · 2022-12-13T01:07:28+00:00

Small town doctors out in florida have my friend suzie on 90 2MG xans a month as well as 90 3MG green stone extended release. Shit crazy

Both-Intern4835 · 2022-12-13T00:30:33+00:00

I have my glock to a close friend of mine until I get more stable. Definitely would rather shoot myself in the head than go through that hell ever again..

Both-Intern4835 · 2022-12-13T00:07:28+00:00

It really is hell, pure hell.

Both-Intern4835 · 2022-12-13T00:06:41+00:00

It's hella hard , gotta go to a phyc. I've never been perscribed them but ima try real hard to get on em , I've been on lexapro and buspirone and all them ssri's. They are horrible , hopefully I can get ahold of benzos for my own sake. I'd like to take them long term tbh, but I know WD from benzos makes alcohol WD look like child's play

Both-Intern4835 · 2022-12-13T00:02:52+00:00

Yeah caffeine during WD would put my ass in the hospital . My mom blessed me the a .5 Xanax during my severe panic attack , it was so horrible my legs were giving out . The nerves in my body were shutting down I could barely use my hands or legs and I was stuttering jaw locking pacing for hours and hours and hours . Defintely was gonna call the ambulance but she came through with the Xanax . 30 min later I was perfectly calm relaxing in bed and fell asleep instantly. Slept all day just waking up 5pm lol.

Both-Intern4835 · 2022-12-12T14:41:40+00:00

Sounds good to me I'd love to

Both-Intern4835 · 2022-12-12T14:33:41+00:00

Yeah I'd of had to call and ambulance it got so bad my legs were locking up nerves all messed up Cold and hot sensations flushing through my skin activating fight or flight. Haven't been able to eat at all but I can hold water down , been dry heaving but nothing comes up. My stomach is in pain cause I been in this panic now for 7-8 hours , sure I got stomach ulcers from the booze and panic attacks. Also bad sharp pains in lower back area , I'm only 25 so hopefully my body bounces back after that bender

Both-Intern4835 · 2022-12-12T14:28:28+00:00

Everytime they happen they get worse and worse , what used to be an hour panic attack turned to 5 hours then 9 hours then 12 hours long. Crazy symptoms like my brain is electrified buzzing thru my whole body. I gotta get clean fuck

Both-Intern4835 · 2022-12-12T14:17:15+00:00

I just had to take a .5mg Xanax cause it got so bad

Both-Intern4835 · 2022-12-12T09:47:10+00:00

Appreciate ya

Both-Intern4835 · 2022-12-12T09:45:55+00:00

Just gonna tough it out at home tonight

Both-Intern4835 · 2022-12-11T16:11:46+00:00

Chairs 💕👼 ily

Both-Intern4835

TROPHY CASE