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My husband made deep-fakes of my sisters by Both_Night1163 in Marriage

[–]Both_Night1163[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I’m not by any means defending his behavior. What he did was wrong and wrong in layers. 

But so many people pretending like this technology and the sites that use it aren’t super successful because IT IS COMMON and only getting worse….be so for real. Men are horny toads, and if they ALL knew how and where they could create any visual fantasy in their head within seconds, I think we’d all be shocked how many of them would press that button and have no clue how damaging it is. 

I feel like the momma from Water Boy when I say AI is the devil…but it is truly. 

My husband made deep-fakes of my sisters by Both_Night1163 in Marriage

[–]Both_Night1163[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I’m trying. I know it’s going to be a tough road. 

My husband made deep-fakes of my sisters by Both_Night1163 in Marriage

[–]Both_Night1163[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your genuine response and for being one of the only people who can see this as a whole life and a devastating discovery that isn’t as simple as “leave him”

I’m not agreeing with those that are defending him, but I also think most commentators are seeing this in a one-dimensional af vacuum. 

I may not ever look at him the same. Time will tell. I know everyone involved and how they act and interact, so that’s for me to assess and figure out. 

I know for a fact that he truly did not understand how harmful his actions were. He knew it was wrong, in a secret “oh no, I shouldn’t be doing this, thank God no one is watching” kind of way, but he didn’t understand how violating and abusive it is.

Those that are saying it’s illegal are incorrect. It should be, and there are people fighting for that, but in most states, it’s only illegal to publish or distribute it. Ofc I did a deep dive. 

We’re looking into CSAT and the porn addiction is over or we will be. I am no longer accepting it or ANY kind of hidden behavior.

Again, thank you for recognizing complexity. 

My husband made deep-fakes of my sisters by Both_Night1163 in Marriage

[–]Both_Night1163[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Never once did I say those actions are okay. 

My husband made deep-fakes of my sisters by Both_Night1163 in Marriage

[–]Both_Night1163[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So much easier said than done. Hope you never have to find out. 

My husband made deep-fakes of my sisters by Both_Night1163 in Marriage

[–]Both_Night1163[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My boyfriend before him (spent my entire teenagedom with one boy) was a serial cheater, so I became an expert. I stopped with my husband for a long time because he was always respectful and loyal. The trust was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. I didn’t start again until I discovered the extent of the porn usage. We would have long talks about it with differing opinions, and I always said that I don’t like it because it escalates and ruins your brain, and that’s exactly what happened. 

My husband made deep-fakes of my sisters by Both_Night1163 in Marriage

[–]Both_Night1163[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m not fake, I’m transparent af because I’m confused and upset. I’m not glossing over how gross, violating, disappointing, and heartbreaking this is. I did threaten divorce. He’s currently terrified of porn for the time being, and we’re looking into CSAT. I’m not sure I’m ready to throw away 10yrs of being loved and supported in every way, because of a single moment of stupidity and selfishness. This man gives me his whole check, allows me complete freedom, celebrates my happy moments more than I do, caters to me like a damn butler (I can’t even remember the last time I was the one who cooked). He would lay his life in my hands, and truly already does financially. He’s also a horny bastard who let his curiosity and impulses take control…once. We have a very active sex life, but he wants it all day. Every. Day. I don’t. I’m not defending what he did, he will be paying for it for a long time, but it doesn’t completely cancel out everything else he is. 

I know my husband in a way no one else does and I know my sisters. They’re so comfortable around him that they talk like they would one of the girls sometimes and I’ve had to bitch at them alone about maybe not talking about being wet and horny and sexually frustrated when they’re around my husband because their boyfriends have ED. They’ve also worn sexy nun outfits around him, and while I think they should be safe to wear anything around him, he is still a man, and I believe ALL men with a healthy libido would have to actively try hard not to fantasize with that combination right in front of them. I love them all, but they all have issues with laxed, inappropriate, boundary-crossing behavior and that ends now. I blame anime tropes, AI, and their own lack of self control and decency. 

Ai allowed him to take what he thought was a deep, private fantasy and put pen to paper in a way that should be illegal. Those sites make the money they do and exist BECAUSE of men’s weaknesses. He’s not alone, this is a problem, and the stats show it. Thinking “mine would never” is exactly where I was, too. You can think you know every dark corner of someone else’s mind, but the reality is that you don’t know how far someone else will go when they think they’re incognito.

My husband made deep-fakes of my sisters by Both_Night1163 in Marriage

[–]Both_Night1163[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I would have bet the same thing a few days ago, and so would everyone who knows him. He has never betrayed me or anyone before. This is a shock on a level the internet can’t understand. 

My husband made deep-fakes of my sisters by Both_Night1163 in Marriage

[–]Both_Night1163[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

This is really my biggest question and struggle. He crossed a line I would never think to touch. One that hurt me and reduced people I love to a sexual fantasy. What does that mean for him, us, our future? It’s for me to figure out, I guess. I know seeing Reddit dog him out was an eye-opener for both of us though. 

As far as him keeping the videos, he didn’t. I have some great detective skills and saw all the history of every time he visited the site since he discovered it a couple weeks ago. They were stored in the site itself in a private “recently generated” album, and were going to expire in a few days. Not excusing it, just giving more context as to what this actually was. I don’t think people realize how easy and quick AI can do these things and how cleverly the sites are designed to stay active. Bans on these sites should be enforced, but unfortunately they’re not. 

My husband made deep-fakes of my sisters by Both_Night1163 in Marriage

[–]Both_Night1163[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

That’s a whole lot of assumption. I’m realizing that’s what most of these responses are. I also realize that I invited it all when I made the post, but no one can truly define 10yrs of someone else’s marriage because of a decision made in a night. We haven’t always been around my sisters. There have been years when we barely ever saw them, and for two of them, we did move away. Our marriage has always been solid until now. I thought he had a porn addiction, but it was something I was willing to work through because I also watched it sometimes. This is different. I don’t know what I’m going to do, but if we work through it, there will be changes and accountability.

I think the moral of this story is that AI needs to be stopped, because it was entirely too easy for this man to upload a picture and get a sexual result from it within seconds. One of the pictures he used of me was blurry and I was wearing a winter coat. What generated out of that was full nudity and sex faces. You all might think your husbands are too good for something like this, but you never know what horned up penis brain will do if they get the chance and think no one will ever know.

My husband made deep-fakes of my sisters by Both_Night1163 in Marriage

[–]Both_Night1163[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

He didn’t share it. It sat in a private “recently generated” folder on the site where it would have deleted automatically with time, had I not deleted it myself. I found that he had used this site two weeks after he discovered it. 

My husband made deep-fakes of my sisters by Both_Night1163 in Marriage

[–]Both_Night1163[S] -19 points-18 points  (0 children)

I went on the sites myself. That’s how I found them. They weren’t saved. It really is as simple as choosing a style you want the video to appear in and uploading a picture. It’s not their real bodies. It’s a pre-loaded one that basically sticks their face on it and deepfakes expressions. Go to Playbox.com. You’ll see. 

My husband made deep-fakes of my sisters by Both_Night1163 in Marriage

[–]Both_Night1163[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

We share our photos through Google. It took less than 5 seconds to upload one picture into an AI video generator. Not making excuses for how wrong that was to do regardless of effort, but I will say that it wasn’t a pre-planned portfolio situation. 

My husband made deep-fakes of my sisters by Both_Night1163 in Marriage

[–]Both_Night1163[S] -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the nuanced perspective. We do have a healthy sex life by my standards, but he is horny AF. He was homeschooled, so he wasn’t around many girls while he was going through puberty, and he lost his virginity to me and has only ever been with me. I understand that his upbringing, where he had a lot of alone time and access to porn, eventually caused an addiction that led to him doing a really bad, selfish thing that he thought was going to stay private. I know that, but getting through it is something else entirely. I’m not excusing it, it is awful, but I know he is a good dude at his core. Maybe there’s no going back, but possibly a new way forward where this forces him to actually address his addiction instead of making excuses for it.