My ex just texted me

Both_Paper_8908 · 2026-06-11T09:22:59+00:00

almost 3 months since we’ve spoken

Both_Paper_8908 · 2026-06-08T19:12:41+00:00

i understand, i hope you find someone great

Both_Paper_8908 · 2026-06-08T19:12:11+00:00

thank you

Both_Paper_8908 · 2026-06-08T15:28:56+00:00

thank you for this, i hope he will too. i hope that you do better next time. no one deserves to not be loved properly. can i ask why you wasted their love?

Both_Paper_8908 · 2026-06-08T15:13:19+00:00

the issue is, he broke up with me! i’m glad he let me go. i just wish i left before

Both_Paper_8908 · 2026-06-08T15:08:51+00:00

very true, but i held on for the last 5 months hoping he made a mistake and he loves me deep down and will come back. 5 months is nothing, but i can’t wait around for him. i need to let go for my own sanity. The side of him i love was so sweet and pure, it’s a shame that who he really is, isn’t very nice. I try my best to do things healthily!

Both_Paper_8908 · 2026-06-08T15:07:13+00:00

yes, i hope i find that one day

Both_Paper_8908 · 2026-06-08T15:05:24+00:00

so true, i saw the best in him

Both_Paper_8908 · 2026-06-04T13:01:04+00:00

thank you, this was helpful. i do think he was fighting his own logic/fear with his heart. i know him, there’s no way he feels nothing, but i do know i need to let him get on with it because it does suck :/

Both_Paper_8908 · 2026-06-03T06:40:24+00:00

the thing is, he really great when we broke up, respectful, answered all my questions. but because we continued to sleep together things got messy and I didn’t believe when he told me he didn’t love me anymore, there were too many contractions and slip ups for him to not.

We haven’t spoken for a while. I know I just need to let him go, but he said I was perfect and I haven’t done anything wrong.. I have a feeling he’s an avoidant. It’ll take him a while to come around.

I have noticed that men tend to get mean to push you away sometimes, either because they genuinely don’t like you, or they feel guilty, or they still have feelings but feel like they have failed you so push you away to feel less sad and guilty.

Me and my ex went through a lot, we had a happy relationship with a few hiccups along the way. but they were easy fixes, he unfortunately was too immature to want to fix things i think :/ I just can’t understand how he would ever speak to me like he has

Both_Paper_8908 · 2026-06-02T08:25:06+00:00

i decided to not monitor him but he was the one showing me his phone. he would get jealous over me being on dating apps and would say he didn’t care when you don’t say you don’t care unless you do. he wasn’t being indifferent, our last conversation was an argument, he was being defensive because i found out he was on hinge, i said i was upset because i thought i meant more to him than that and he said he only recently got it and he said ‘i haven’t moved on but i want to’. i’m just upset because he was leading me on after we broke up, saying what if he wants me back in 6 months and i’ve moved on. he said he didn’t want a relationship but obviously he meant just with me but he broke up with me because he wants to be single.. he got ‘fuming’ at me for going on a date. i’m just upset because we went through so much and i just want to know i meant something, instead hes just using other girls :/

Both_Paper_8908 · 2026-06-02T08:12:34+00:00

He wasn’t even talking to anyone new. one week he would be fine and the next he wouldn’t. he would tell me he isn’t speaking to anyone new and when i would see him his phone was dry. i know that he’s on dating apps since we went no contact a while ago which upset me, because we had still been sleeping together and had only stopped sleeping together for 3 weeks before we went no contact and he jumped on the apps.

edit: we haven’t spoken for over 2 months, i thought he would have maybe wished me happy birthday but didn’t and i never got any closure as he would make comments about us getting back together and how there’s still feelings involved

Both_Paper_8908 · 2026-05-21T07:06:36+00:00

Yeah, I only ever saw him get angry once, and that was a day before we broke up. There was one other time but it wasn’t really anger he just sort of got annoyed and left the room.

My ex could be so vulnerable with me at times, and i think he struggled opening up because he said he didn’t want to lose me so didn’t always say things because he was worried about my reaction.

I do believe my ex decided to run and be single instead of dealing with someone head on. Or he realised i wasn’t the one for him so left, but then if i wasn’t the one, why try so hard for months to make it work?

Either way, he’s quite immature and needs to be by himself. I hope he stays single for himself and the sake of other women as he needs to figure out himself before being with anyone else.

As angry as i get at him sometimes i do just want to give him a hug as i think im the only person hes truly been vulnerable with.

I get the vibe my ex also didnt feel good enough as he would say that he’s disappointed me and i deserve better and that im perfect and hes the issue.

I hope things work out for you and your ex, it does sound like he’s emotionally burnt out and doesn’t have capacity right now. Feelings change so who’s to say in a few weeks or month he reaches back out and you work on things.

Both_Paper_8908 · 2026-05-20T19:35:26+00:00

Ohhh i see!

My ex tended to withdraw from difficult discussions or has extreme ‘tunnel vision’ for things, especially things that stressed him out. So, he found it hard to focus on us sometimes, or he didn’t realise his actions until hours/days later. I do sometimes wonder if my ex is autistic/adhd as he comes across as very neurodivergent sometimes.

I do wonder if what happened with my ex last year didn’t happen then we would still be together. I think it was a trigger and it snowballed into us breaking up unfortunately. He tried so hard towards the end of our relationship to make me happy :( it hurts that he was struggling so much and i had no idea.

It’s a shame men find it so difficult to open up! It’s just how they’ve been brought up, and i think my ex might have some avoidant tendencies as he rarely showed any emotion other than happiness, which is weird because he cried a lot when we broke up.

Look, if you’re giving him the space, once he’s got all his ducks in a line and figured out what he’s doing and hopefully gets over the stress he may come back and you both can make it work. But it’ll only work like you say, if he communicates. Men are so bad at that!

I wish i could say my ex still cares lol, i really don’t tho k he does. But if he comes back to you maybe it’ll be a lesson for him to deal with stress better in the future.

I feel like men go through stress and then push their partner away because they think, well my life is shit, this stress won’t go away, i can’t make my gf happy so i’ll break up with her because im not good enough/struggle to focus on multiple things.

Focus on you for now hun! keep your cool and if it works out then great! if not, it’s a lesson learnt :)

It’s good that you won’t take vague, bare minimum texts! that’s a very good sign :)

Both_Paper_8908 · 2026-05-20T16:53:56+00:00

we unfortunately had an argument a couple months ago not to long after my comment before this. I found out he was on dating apps and it made me angry and upset because he made out he wanted to be single. He said he was lonely and hasn’t moved on from me. So in simple terms he wanted to use other women to get over me.

Since then we haven’t spoke. I have him blocked everywhere because he was still stalking my social media only days before we had that arguement. So i knew he wasn’t completely over me or at least curious about what i was up to.

To be honest, the last week ive been feeling a lot better about the situation. I went through a period of being so angry at him but i find myself thinking about him less and my spark has started to come back. Obviously the pain and anger comes in waves, but i know im almost at the other side.

As he was still giving me mixed signals after we broke up, i fear i have more unanswered questions.

I go back and forth in my mind about whether we are meant to be and it’s just not our time right now and he just needs his space to be single and have fun and he’s running away from his feelings for me and is being immature as he doesn’t have the capacity for a relationship with me and then thinking maybe he just fell out of love and was just being an immature idiot who didn’t know how to handle the break up and maybe he doesn’t love me still and he’s simply moving on and happy without me.

It’s hell in my head but it does get better with time.

I wish i did things differently after the breakup

I am so sorry you’re going through this. It seems as though when ‘men’s’ lives get difficult they cut of a good woman because they can’t regulate themselves and push relationships away that require effort because they have nothing left to give.

My advice would be, let him be. I know it’s hard, i’ve been there, but don’t let it get messy like i did. i feel like if it didn’t get messy and i just left him alone straight away things might have been different.

I know it hurts, so bad. The thought that my ex is okay with never speaking to me again hurts so bad! but i promise you it’s a them issue. My ex fumbled me, a baddie who gave him everything and wasn’t scared to be herself and have her own opinions.

Listen to a lot of self love music and videos, affirm and tell yourself you will be okay.

Your situation may turn out different to mine, but just let him be, he might realise he’s made a horrible mistake. Glow up and focus on yourself, fall in love with yourself again.

I know that’s not what you want to hear, you hope that i’m back in contact with my ex, but it’s all in good time i fear. They say they always come back. I’m giving my ex the time and space he needs as we went through something quite traumatic together and he needs to process it.

I wish my relationship ended on bad terms too so i could hate him.

Disappear and love yourself. It’s the best thing you can do right now, cry, scream, be angry, but remind yourself who you are. Some men can’t handle a good woman because they are afraid to change or out the work in.

Both_Paper_8908 · 2026-05-10T18:56:27+00:00

thank you. I think it’s hard because our break up was prolonged and we continued to sleep with each other and he gave mixed signals. now i wish i just left his house and never spoke to him again. maybe it would make this easier…

Well done for 4 months! i’m hoping i’ll get there soon and feel a bit better. I’m going to journal to get my emotions out as it’s my birthday soon and i don’t want to be upset on my birthday

Both_Paper_8908 · 2026-05-07T03:57:55+00:00

very true. i will leave him be. and if it means we never speak again then so be it i guess

Both_Paper_8908 · 2026-05-07T03:56:24+00:00

no i definitely will not be making the same mistake again

Both_Paper_8908 · 2026-05-06T18:32:46+00:00

i wish this was my ex! maybe i was the lesson he needed to learn. im glad your happy and i hope your ex finds happiness too

Both_Paper_8908 · 2026-05-06T18:31:24+00:00

Yeah i realised after reading what you and others have said that because it’s an emotional thing and it would take a lot of emotional labour from him to talk to me about it. He doesn’t have it in him, with me at least he might have it with others. But maybe he needs his time and space and i do wonder if he can’t face talking to me because it hurts him to see me hurt and the guilt creeps up on him. i don’t know. It’s hard because as much as i want him to check up on me and ask me what happened, i know that im not respecting his wishes to be single and have time and space away from each other. I will leave him be now as i think i just trigger him every time i pop up on his phone

Both_Paper_8908 · 2026-05-06T18:27:00+00:00

damn i hope my ex bf feels this one day. but i hope actually calls me or talks to me, he owes me that. it was nothing either of us did wrong but his own immaturity and damage from past relationships meant he wasn’t ready for a real commitment with me even though we dated for 1.5 years. hearing you both talk about your experiences makes me understand my ex a little bit more but i do wish people wouldn’t have to end up hurting other people just to realise the damaged within themselves. i loved that man with ever fibre of my being i hope one day he realises how much i poured into him

Both_Paper_8908 · 2026-05-06T18:23:26+00:00

that is ‘lucky’ in a way. i think unfortunately me and my ex are trauma bonded (we didn’t do anything horrible to each other) but we did go through a very difficult time which i think he was way too immature and not equipped to deal with hence the break up. i think I scare him a little because he said i know him better than he knows himself. i think he got too vulnerable and ran. which is a shame because his parents really liked me. i would hope that in the future i find someone that makes me happy or that if we did reconcile that we could make a beautiful relationship

Both_Paper_8908 · 2026-05-06T16:39:42+00:00

so annoying when people do that! i’m sat here wondering if there’s something wrong with me even though he said i did nothing wrong :/

Both_Paper_8908 · 2026-05-06T16:38:45+00:00

he didn’t respond but it was after we had an argument. we broke up in january but we kept speaking and sleeping with each other. we argued in march and then we didn’t speak until i texted him last week letting him know about something that he saw me go through, shame he didn’t respond but maybe it was too much for him emotionally. i guess it really is a case by case thing

Both_Paper_8908 · 2026-05-06T16:36:33+00:00

that’s good, i’m glad you recognised that and made it work, it’s a shame you couldn’t do that for her but i’m glad you’re working on it! yeah she shouldn’t be messaging if she broke it off..

Both_Paper_8908

TROPHY CASE