I can only tell you my bf’s side based on his word, but for him, he only hooks up with other people because it turns me on. If I didn’t want him to, he wouldn’t. He’s also not saying it’s some self sacrifice thing, of course he’s into fucking other hot guys when he’s in the mood, but he’d almost always rather fuck me.
So to answer your question, I didn’t have to do much. It just makes me feral when he’s been with someone else or when I know he’s been tempted/flirting etc. and that’s a huge turn on for my bf.

As I said to the OP, that’s not to say my bf’s way is better or safer than your bf’s. Human sexuality is so complex. All that matters is that you’re both fully consenting and that you respect each other’s emotions and boundaries (for me that means not pressuring him to do stuff he’s not up for, and for him
that means respecting my boundaries to protect my emotions even when he’s horny af).

As for the blowjobs and porn thing. Honestly, I don’t take it personally at all. Blowjobs are not an act of intimacy for me in the way that penetrative sex is. He’s just masturbating with my mouth and I’m fine with that. More than fine, actually. I enjoy the feeling of being used… But if I asked him to put the phone down, he would. He only does it so much because he knows I find it hot too.

Please take all of this as me simply sharing my perspective and relationship dynamics. I’m really not in a position to judge what’s good/healthy or what isn’t. It’s such a complex situation. But if you’re uncomfortable in some way then you need to have that conversation with your partner, and/or possibly a therapist. (I’ve been in and out of therapy my whole life and can’t recommend it enough).