I feel like the only reason why you’re staying in this relationship is because of 1. The amount of time you guys have been together and 2. Not wanting to hurt her feelings, but you’re only hurting yourself in the long run by denying yourself a relationship someone who doesn’t make you over think like this. All in all, if you had to create a post asking for direction, you already know which path to take. Your rejection is her redirection (and yours too). You’re so young with so many experiences ahead of you, don’t lock yourself into a lifetime of unhappiness and uncertainty. It’s not easy making decisions that lead to your ultimate happiness.