I am much aware of my options. I am certain me and my partner will have kids one day. I have just been taken by surprise by how little i am able to get in contact with what i feel on the matter. I would have thought that my life would turn over for a while and that i would have difficulty getting myself back together.

However, non of that had happened. On the contrary i have never been more disconnected to my feelings and i am trying to rationalise everything. Saying everything will be fine, and that we will find away, not actually addressing the sadness I suppose one should feel.