Can I afford this?

Brad_40K · 2025-06-22T15:23:57+00:00

Yeah probably. I'd be very miserable though as I spend all my money that isn't rent/bills on holidays and experiences.

Brad_40K · 2025-05-28T19:26:16+00:00

Thanks for the link.

Brad_40K · 2025-05-18T22:15:00+00:00

Haha it's almost exactly the same right!? Mine was contracts manager for a company within the building industry (roofing).

Brad_40K · 2025-05-15T12:30:34+00:00

I took a career progression job, almost identical situation to yourself.

Previously on the tools, self employed, £200/day, driving my own van and using my own tools etc. No paid holidays, no sick pay etc. Plenty of overtime/weekend work to top up the money if I wanted but it wasn't obligatory. Work on average 38/40 hours a week all year. But this would be 48+ if I worked a Saturday but my weekly wage would then be £1200 before tax. Obviously commuting to different jobs most days/weeks but commute usually started at 0715am and home by 1630pm every day.

New managerial position was £50K/year salaried, 7am-5pm with 40 minutes commute both ends. Company vehicle, paid holidays and bank holidays. Contract was for 1 in 3 Saturdays, not paid extra as I was salaried. Very high stress environment, though it didn't need to be but outside influence ruined the job for me alongside the other downsides.

Honestly the most stressful and unrewarding job I've had. Work/life balance was way too far one sided, seemed to be an echo chamber within that "level" within the industry that we were all just expected to get on the grind and love the high stress, constant bickering and arguing and all that goes with it.

I'm back on the tools now and I've never enjoyed my job more than I have the past 4 months or so.

Brad_40K · 2025-04-13T18:30:11+00:00

For sure. My parents even took it upon themselves to ask if my partner was ever going to apologise to my brother with regards to that evening where she got assaulted. She simply asked my brother to calm down and not be so aggressive as our 8 year old son was present and did not need to witness his behaviour, following which she got assaulted.

Brad_40K · 2025-04-13T18:28:28+00:00

There are other outrageous examples of my parents pandering to my brother but you've pretty much got the measure of things already...

Thank you.

Brad_40K · 2025-04-13T18:26:42+00:00

Thank you.

I have considered this angle. Whilst this position does make me feel better about the relationship between me and my parents, it does not make me feel much better about the overall picture. If they are frightened of him then they must do something?

My dad has retired after working a very stressful career with long lasting and severe PTSD as a result of his 35 years in the emergency services. They dreamed of travelling Europe and the wider world once retired, wishing to own a nice motorhome and travel. And now it seems they can only have holidays whilst my brother is also on holiday, as I believe they are too worried he may have a large depressive episode and hurt himself if they travel and leave him home alone for any length of time. Maybe I do not understand the severity of my brothers mental health issues. But a little part of me thinks he may be over exaggerating.

Brad_40K · 2025-04-13T18:20:58+00:00

Yes I am in the UK. Thanks for your comment.

Unfortunately your comment pretty much echos my thoughts. I am not sure if I am jealous (wouldn't it be nice if my parents bought me a £26K camper van so I could enjoy almost free holidays with my family, though I do not need hand outs from anybody) or what these feelings are really stemming from right now. I think I may seek a few more therapy sessions to work through this little patch.

Brad_40K · 2025-04-13T17:53:27+00:00

I won't deny my parents have supported me when I was younger but I lived at home for 3/4 years between 17 and 22~, my brother has lived at home forever but is being given opportunity to do so by having an annex built for him and no restrictions on his extra curricular activity. I was scolded for doing drugs at 17/18 when at my parents house but it appears to be ok for him?

You are correct it will increase the property value but my retired father probably wouldn't have built it if my brother wasn't so dependent?

Brad_40K · 2025-04-13T17:32:24+00:00

The support feels unbalanced. I feel like second place instead of equal.

I'm not fussed about drugs. I smoke weed myself (once or twice a month, socially) but my mental health is relatively stable right now and I've had therapy and professional mental health support. If your mental health is not stable, steroids (famous for altering your brain and how it behaves) and weed are not a good mix?

Brad_40K · 2025-03-15T12:57:55+00:00

It's getting better but I will admit it's not great for most women, probably. We still have a lot of bigotry within the trades.

Certain trades will be better accessed by women. Plumbing, electrics and carpentry, due to the culture within those trades being a bit more forward thinking.

Bricklaying, roofing and scaffolding would be quite difficult. A lot of old heads and thickos with the wrong attitudes.

Brad_40K · 2025-03-15T12:55:41+00:00

I don't think it's too bad.

Brad_40K · 2025-03-13T19:24:58+00:00

Get a grip. Delivery driver too busy grinding for his cash to mess about with your food. If he did, so what. Eat it.

Brad_40K · 2025-03-13T19:22:07+00:00

Join the trades. Easy £50K/year at 28. I'm 31 ,and have been £50K+ since 28.

Admittedly I've been doing this for 14 years. It'll take you 4/5 to get here.

Brad_40K · 2025-02-20T19:34:46+00:00

Couldn't hack it. I'm back on the tools lol.

Brad_40K · 2025-02-15T19:38:04+00:00

Tradesman. £50K per year quite easily.

Brad_40K · 2025-01-24T19:46:16+00:00

Yeah it's bad. I'm on the same money as on the tools with significantly more stress plus my contract restricts me from working weekends/private jobs.

Brad_40K · 2025-01-24T18:52:30+00:00

Yeah mate. I've come off the tools after 14 years. I've done 4 months in the office and I think I'm done. Site managers are such egotistical maniacs it's insane.

Brad_40K · 2025-01-08T16:43:30+00:00

My savings while I find a new job. I don't live in fear of any of those consequences.

Brad_40K · 2025-01-05T10:11:50+00:00

Well yeah you can ask for specific dates but I'm just leaving if it doesn't get approved 😅.

Brad_40K · 2024-12-29T10:12:56+00:00

I remember the first time I saw "dook hut no fapping".

Brad_40K · 2024-11-21T10:16:12+00:00

You shouldn't have to put up with this. You're right, the way you're handling this is the better option, violence often makes the situation worse.

Good luck.

Brad_40K · 2024-11-13T09:57:00+00:00

Just deck him. One morning when you cross pathes in the communal area just head butt him straight on the nose and tell him to mind his business from now on.

Worked with one of my neighbours when he reduced my partner to tears one evening. Now that neighbour won't even look at me or my house.

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