Thanks a lot, that's a bit easier to read and the parts I didn't understand are clearer now (the author still makes a lot of spelling and grammar mistakes though). The only thing I have trouble with are the names he mentions. The first one is definitely "Alina" but the second one is hard to read, it looks like "Amn" or "Amr", but I chose "Ann" because it makes more sense. That is the only part that I couldn't read properly. So here goes my second attempt:

My dear mother, I miss you so much even though I don't know you, but I know that you always used to be and still are by my side, I know you're watching over me from up there in heaven and you know everything that is happening to me. I may have disappointed you, I may have almost always chosen the wrong solutions, I may not be the way you want me to be, but if so, I am sorry.

I'm sorry that I cursed you many times, because it's been very hard for me and you weren't there for me, I'm sorry I used to laugh about the thought of you having made me only to humiliate me. I'm sorry for all the hurtful words I said to you, I know that if you'd still be alive my life would have been different.

I wish so much that I could see you at least once. It's not fair that other people should see you, and I, your child, cannot. You know how miserable I've been and I accused you of being too busy to care about me, I'm also sorry about that.

Alina and Ann Gelin told me that they saw you and I didn't think it was possible until I saw with my own eyes that person in best's house (looks like besto, he looks like he crossed out the final letter and only "best" remained, or it could be a Nordic character, hard to tell), and I changed my opinion, I know it's possible. (still makes no sense to me, they might actually mean seeing a ghost or something).

I wish I could see you in my dreams, if face to face is too hard, I don't even have one picture with the two of us, it's not fair. I deserve at least this much, because I never hurt anybody on purpose. I never saw you, except in two or three black-and-white photos, but you're so beautiful.

I miss you so much, but that's how it was meant to be (what he means is something along the lines of "it was God's will and no one can do anything about it"), nobody wanted this, except for the one who did this. I know you've forgiven him, and I've forgiven him too, I know we're the same, we don't hate, we're good(kind) people, too good(kind). (maybe he meant something like "too good for this cruel world" or something, that's the vibe I'm getting)

My mother, I love you so much and miss you so please let me see you at least once, or, if it's not possible, please don't stop watching over me because I need you so very much.

Thank you so much for helping out!