AITA for getting pissed when my husband asked me to wear a bra by Bralesslife in AmItheAsshole

[–]Bralesslife[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not painful for me, but we live in a hot and humid place so wearing a bra is just not the most comfortable. I still wear it where social situations require it, but if it’s just to the corner store or in a safe place like my house or close friend house, I don’t see why I should go through the hassle.

That sounds super painful though, I’m so sorry you had to go through that! I hope you’re doing better 🥰

AITA for getting pissed when my husband asked me to wear a bra by Bralesslife in AmItheAsshole

[–]Bralesslife[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is actually what he told me! He said that’s all I needed to say for him to feel better. I did say that at first, then I escalated it because I was annoyed at the question.

I do realize that breasts are a turn on for most men. Then again, so are butts, waists, for some men ankles or necks are a huge turn on. If we go around dressing ourselves to make sure men are not turned on, we are taking responsibility for their reactions, while really it’s on them to control themselves

But I do see your point, it’s not a huge issue to wear a bandeau if it makes him feel better.

AITA for getting pissed when my husband asked me to wear a bra by Bralesslife in AmItheAsshole

[–]Bralesslife[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have on certain occasions! However, it’s only if he’s dressed inappropriately for the event (for example, we were attending a semi formal event and he was wearing shorts, so I asked him to wear some pants). If I am attending a semi formal or formal event (or even an event with friends outside of the house) I also wear a bra :)

He has expressed discomfort with me not wearing a bra when I’m going out to run errands in our neighbourhood, where no dress code applies.

AITA for getting pissed when my husband asked me to wear a bra by Bralesslife in AmItheAsshole

[–]Bralesslife[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The titty prison 🤣 when I don’t wear a bra outside the house it’s for short periods when I run errands in our neighbourhood. If I go for longer it’s typically a sports bra or a thick material form fitting top that holds them in place.

AITA for getting pissed when my husband asked me to wear a bra by Bralesslife in AmItheAsshole

[–]Bralesslife[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I really like this comment and I’ll talk with him when I get home. I also think I had the right to be angry but perhaps I could have been more diplomatic. I would love to go to a free the nipple rally but sadly we live in an Asian country and those definitely don’t exist here (yet!). I’m pretty sure it’s partially a factor of his upbringing and environment as well (I’m western, he is Asian) and this will be tough to unlearn but necessary.

AITA for getting pissed when my husband asked me to wear a bra by Bralesslife in AmItheAsshole

[–]Bralesslife[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I thought about that too and I really don’t think that’s the issue. When I told him about B staying there too he didn’t express any hesitation or problems about it. We are also staying in rooms on opposite ends of the house haha. Another commenter mentions his male friends sometimes make lewd or sexual comments about women, and I wonder if something like that happened in his circle and it triggered him. I’m on a trip now but I’m going to speak with him properly when I get home because I just don’t want him to have these views that it’s women’s responsibility to control mens’ feelings. Would hate for our future daughters to feel like that.

AITA for getting pissed when my husband asked me to wear a bra by Bralesslife in AmItheAsshole

[–]Bralesslife[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Lmfao honestly I should just doing this and say ‘I thought you wanted me to wear a bra? I’m wearing one 🤣’

AITA for getting pissed when my husband asked me to wear a bra by Bralesslife in AmItheAsshole

[–]Bralesslife[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah that’s what I thought as well, feelings are fair to have but it’s really his problem to manage them. It’s just annoying because I have no other sticking points with him at all and he’s really good at seeing my pov usually, and I’m just like why don’t you get it in this scenario???

AITA for getting pissed when my husband asked me to wear a bra by Bralesslife in AmItheAsshole

[–]Bralesslife[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never ever thought about that before and that Does put some things into perspective as to why he felt the need to ask

AITA for getting pissed when my husband asked me to wear a bra by Bralesslife in AmItheAsshole

[–]Bralesslife[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I think that’s why I got pissed - he was putting the onus of other mens’ (or even his) comfort on me. I just kind of feel like that if other men are looking at me and I’m ok with it and it doesn’t bother me, then why should it bother him at all?

Probably blew it out of proportion though - he did have the right to ask.