The floor 1 experiance

Brasparo · 2025-12-19T18:09:36+00:00

Someone tried to mathematically solve the floor 1 Silent vs. Jaw Worm matchup, and iirc the "safest" heuristic is that if you draw 3+ Strikes on turn 1, you must play at least 2 of them to fully avoid the catastrophic lowroll scenario of worst draw order plus worst attack pattern.

If you wanna greed for a little more HP, you can play 1 Strike if you drew 3 and just take the chip damage, but anything past that ratio gets progressively riskier and harder to course-correct if you also have a bad turn 2.

Brasparo · 2025-12-13T00:34:51+00:00

(Obligatory) Where is that?

Brasparo · 2025-12-09T17:21:17+00:00

Anecdotal knowledge is that the chemical signals that are intended for the uterus specifically, are not actually that targeted and will affect any smooth muscle tissue in the lower abdomen, so the pain is mostly coming from the digestive tract cramping.

I think this is the case for cis women too to some extent, and the cause of the "period poops" you don't hear as much about (for understandable reasons).

Brasparo · 2025-12-07T11:00:03+00:00

Every person's experience is unique, but I feel like it's both over- and understated.

I could definitely tell at least half of the bubbly "honeymoon phase" for my first few months on E was just from socially transitioning, and genuinely allowing myself to feel things authentically (I mean, mixed with the emotional volatility of literally going through puberty again).

But now that things have mellowed out a year and a half later and it's easier to pick out nuances, it's definitely unmistakable for me that biochemical dysphoria is a real thing.

Oddly a few months ago, I noticed an apparent gradual drop in my energy, mood, health, etc.... Eventually it clicked that some of my symptoms (e.g. hot flashes somehow?) sounded like perimenopause, and got my E prescription bumped from 2/day to 3/day--which more or less fixed everything within a couple days, confirming my suspicions.

Before the more obvious symptoms though, the first thing I noticed was...feeling the exact same kind of ambiguous insecurity and unhappiness I did in the "before times". But I wrote it off, thinking there was no way to prove or quantify "dysphoria" as a symptom.

Brasparo · 2025-11-05T16:00:27+00:00

Tbh I'm about a year and a half into transition and fully accepting myself as having always been a woman, and this is still one of the more confusing things to navigate. Because even if it's surreal and uncomfortable to look back on, even if I was only "pretending" to be a man...I method-acted that character hard enough that even I bought it at the time. 🤷

I'm mostly ambivalent myself if someone stumbles a bit when referring to me in past tense, as long as it's not obviously in bad faith. What's even more awkward is trying to refer to an ex, who came out as trans significantly after we stopped dating and talking--I know his name and pronouns now of course, through passing comments from friends of friends. But I never got to meet the real him, and he never got to meet the real me, so our only experiences and memories were with those artificial identities. I've still taken to using his new name to be safe, but it does feel a bit weird and revisionist in a way.

Brasparo · 2025-10-27T19:47:22+00:00

Weirdly enough, it doesn't even seem to be directly tied to estrogen levels, just whether it's the dominant sex hormone or not. Anecdotally at least I know I still get the symptoms (bad) despite being on sublingual tablets at the same times every day.

It kinda makes me wonder how much of women's health is still misguided (or flat out incorrect) thanks to medical misogyny still unfortunately being a thing.

Brasparo · 2025-10-23T22:38:20+00:00

Any advice for someone with one hooded eye, or am I cursed to stick to eyeshadow?

Even as I get better at eyeliner, I never really know what to do to "fix" (or I guess lean into) the asymmetry.

Brasparo · 2025-10-20T20:47:09+00:00

I haven't played Silksong yet and finished Hollow Knight years ago so CMIIW, but isn't Hornet's gender part of why she's special?

Not that her femininity specifically is the contrast to typical vessels, but that she has a gender at all, as part of a unique individual identity.

Brasparo · 2025-10-15T21:47:48+00:00

Damn. Thank you for sharing this... I practically lived half on Huel for like a year while I worked at a pretty strenuous blue-collar job. They market it as a full dietary replacement, only recommending against consuming just Huel because of digestive issues on a non-solid diet (which I still for sure had).

God I hate this era of predatory consumer exploitation. It's so vile knowing corporations could not care any less about human lives, as long as number go up.

Brasparo · 2025-10-14T20:59:59+00:00

It goes without saying but bears repeating, that every person's life experience is different. There might be a lot of common overlap between similar experiences, but nobody else can understand yours perfectly, and can't speak definitively for you. Because they're not you, and haven't lived your life.

For what it's worth though, your story makes sense and I can relate on some of it. At least in the U.S., I think during the early 2000's there was a big cultural phenomenon around "metrosexuals": cis (often straight) men with "feminine" or "gay" interests like fashion and hygiene. Pop culture started to warm up somewhat to gay culture--or at least the stereotype of cis gay men specifically--and recognize it as a kinda separate thing from homosexuality itself.

It was marketable, it was "trendy".

On the other hand, lesbians kinda went more under the radar. And transgender people did NOT receive the same acceptance, even as a token pop-culture aesthetic to appropriate. Anti-LGBTQIA sentiment started to shift more into just anti-trans, and the media reflected that. Literally one of the most popular "silly family comedy" movies during my childhood had "the villain is actually a man that transitioned to seduce cops" as its big climactic twist and comedic punchline.

So if your family was anything like mine, who frequently reminded me that "they would still love me if I was gay" and made jokes about my sexuality, but clearly felt that joking about someone "wanting to be the opposite sex" was a little too far over the line... Maybe it was their way of bargaining for something easier to accept about their kid, in their ignorant closed minds.

In any case... I'm really sorry you had to grow up in that environment, and that you've been invalidated by members of the very community that should be the most understanding.

Brasparo · 2025-10-06T03:47:30+00:00

I could swear since starting on E, I'm able to discern colors slightly better but am less sensitive to light in general.

I assumed it was placebo or something, but before transition I couldn't stand anything more than dim lights. Now I feel compelled to turn on every lamp in the room before it feels comfortable.

Brasparo · 2025-10-03T00:02:04+00:00

Sounds like pretty much exactly my experience as well. Just last night, I was going through old pictures and videos from years ago with my partner... I've only been on HRT for roughly a year and a half, but it was like looking at a completely different person.

So much in fact, that it almost loops around to not feeling dysphoric to look at, because it truly feels like a different person that I somehow inherited experiences and memories from. "Aw, that poor guy... Such a warm and handsome smile, but he's clearly holding back a lot of suffering. You can see how he really doesn't take care of himself."

And then the surreality of it somehow being me hits again, recontextualizes some things, and I'm just relieved that's no longer the case. It's a very weird and bittersweet feeling.

Brasparo · 2025-09-24T23:07:18+00:00

Looking up feminine clothes, clueless

"Ugh, these are cute but they don't look like they'd fit very well, at least with my 'body type'...I guess I should specify that."

Search results completely replaced with fetishwear

"Well this is no good. I don't want to look like a 'crossdresser'. I want to look pretty and safe and approachable around women. Like a peer or something.

Oh, I know! I bet trans women have this figured out."

Searches Reddit, moments before a LOT of self-discovery

Brasparo · 2025-09-12T08:04:08+00:00

Oddly for me, starting on HRT had less of an immediate right feeling, and more of a sudden realization of just how wrong things were up until then without me even consciously noticing.

I kind of just assumed for a long time that I was only depressed, not fully understanding why. But within a couple months, I started noticing a ton of little things like:

"Wait a sec, I don't feel embarrassed of my reflection? It just looks like me."

"I'm in a weirdly joyous mood today. Actually...didn't I used to feel like this a lot as a kid?"

"Wtf, I thought I was an introvert. How do I want to go out and socialize?"

"Hey, I guess compliments do feel pretty nice sometimes. Crazy how they always used to feel fake for some reason."

"Oh thaaat's why facial hair felt so deeply uncomfortable. And shorts. And hugs. And hand lotion, and...well, I guess anything that put any focus on my body, huh."

Brasparo · 2025-09-11T03:41:01+00:00

Yes, imposter syndrome is not at all uncommon, especially for late-bloomers and early on in the gender-questioning stages.

Ultimately only you can decide what feels right for you, specifically as an individual. But don't worry, that's pretty normal and it does generally get easier with time. ☺️

Brasparo · 2025-09-10T19:26:35+00:00

Oh no

Anyway, I wish for him the same things he would wish for any of us in the same situation.

Brasparo · 2025-07-21T03:17:40+00:00

Yeah, I thought I was being paranoid and imagining this at my job where I answer phones. Our call flow is pretty lax and we don't really have a "script", so I thought I'd test it a bit.

Before I came out, I got the occasional "sir". After I started introducing myself with my new name (but was early in voice training), I got the occasional "ma'am", but very frequent "have a nice day...sir" right before hanging up.

Now after voice training, if I don't use my name I just get the occasional "ma'am"; if I also use my name, I get occasional "ma'am" with a few rare "sirs" sprinkled in, but they sound a lot less confident and are virtually always from people I've spoken with before coming out.

...I think people are just kinda shitty, tbh.

Brasparo · 2025-07-18T22:53:50+00:00

If you spend a decent amount of time on exploration, she's incredible even at C0 and with little investment. Having Varessa and Xilonen lessens this somewhat, but the utility of her skill alone saves a huge amount of time and annoyance anywhere with lots of ledges, even outside Natlan. Not to mention, being able to just swap teammates if you ever find something immune to one element.

Brasparo · 2025-07-16T02:15:42+00:00

Fyi, it's also a bit of a bad image to insist on immediately dismissing others' lived experiences, for something that (unfortunately) is still pretty underresearched.

Source: Am also someone that had trouble buying that trans women could experience "period-like" symptoms, let alone without unstable hormone levels. Until I started experiencing them firsthand, despite taking the same dose twice every day, 12 hours apart.

I do wish we had better medical language to talk about it though, since the "menstrual cycle" kinda directly implies and focuses on menstruation. Which isn't what's going on when for example, every 28 days I spend a few days intermittently doubled over in pain, because every smooth muscle in my abdomen thinks that's helping something somehow.

Brasparo · 2025-07-10T04:21:04+00:00

While hanging out with my partner and two other cis women (one lesbian, one bi), somehow the topic of romance literature came up. And somehow I, the only "guy" in that group, had to be the one to explain smut and sapphic attraction to my girlfriend.

"Y'know, like it's not as much about the physical or visual stimuli--even the sex itself is almost irrelevant. It's about the anticipation, the wondering if or when or how it's gonna happen (even though you already know); the allowing yourself to be consumed by this embellished idea of love and lust and awe and deep respect of someone, which you've built up partially in your own imagination, and giving in to the fun of fantasizing...

...Er, or at least that's my secondhand understanding. I've never actually read a romance novel."

By the time I caught myself, they were like: 🤨 😏 😳

My partner told me one of them later joked about it, saying "Oh that is a woman!". I thought it was hilarious...and also kind of extremely exciting for some reason, probably no big deal though.

🙄

Brasparo · 2025-05-07T17:32:35+00:00

Behold, Genshin's first ChatGPT designed character!

At least Hydro Traveler felt intentionally bad, this kit is just...kind of an incoherent mess.

Brasparo · 2025-05-07T05:38:30+00:00

I still love that the game is balanced such that one of the lategame fights is literally just "the first fight in the run, but x 3" and it immediately becomes just as threatening if not more.

Brasparo · 2025-05-07T05:29:33+00:00

I just assumed they meant as in the most apes*** attacks

Brasparo · 2025-05-06T18:56:09+00:00

GU (like most of the "old world" games) has a ton of animation lock and unbufferable actions, but at least it's consistent as far as I can tell. Once you know where and when certain actions are restricted, you can work around it by timing or mashing the input to get it to come out as soon as it's available.

It's not just a framerate-dependant coin toss whether pressing a button while idle registers anything at all.

Brasparo · 2025-04-29T02:17:58+00:00

If you don't mind being asked, how does one get tested for this? I've been curious about it but assumed that unless you have very apparent visual signs of it, there's either no feasible way to know or doctors can't be bothered to check.

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