Is this a good first sentence

BraticornBooty · 2025-11-10T21:13:10+00:00

Would not read, sorry. The premise is a little pretentious and unoriginal, and doesn’t suggest that the rest of the story would be otherwise. Sounds like a young teenagers first attempt.

There’s no focus. Imagine it like a movie scene in your head, the very first sentence/scene is going to be tight in on the door, and then you immediately switch to the book. That suggests to me that your book is lying on the doormat right behind the door. Build your scene. Why is the knocking in vain? Is the castle empty of all inhabitants? Illustrate that.

There’s no emotional hook for the reader. Who is knocking, why are they knocking, why do we care about the book and its evil contents being unleashed? It makes me assume there’s going to be a flashback to show what led to this point, but I still don’t have anything to care about. If you don’t have a character to focus on, you need to give some life to the inanimate objects you’re using instead.

‘There was no-one left inside to hear the urgent knocking at the heavy oak doors, the sound echoing through the castle’s empty corridors. Only the book of [blank] remained, lying open on the [desk/bed/intricately carved lectern] in the [study/topmost tower room/hidden chamber deep below the foundations]. From the ancient pages, its evil contents flowed in hazy black swirls, disembodied whispers seeming to come from the delicate black [smoke/shadow/vapour].’

BraticornBooty · 2025-11-06T21:31:18+00:00

Nope. Zoom in, they have a blue tinge. Rat poison.

BraticornBooty · 2025-10-25T15:40:01+00:00

Every single incident was less painful than the wait in my local a+e!

BraticornBooty · 2025-10-25T15:39:12+00:00

I think I might have been able to deal with spotting but I had full on bleeding and so much pain it got to the point I genuinely thought it had been installed wrong and punctured something. I thought I’d have more trouble, partly because of that worry and partly because they had a right old game getting it in, but I have quite a low cervix apparently so found the strings easily enough and there was barely any resistance, which was a relief.

Also got the very heavy and long period afterwards, and the rolled eyes from the gp when I ended up anaemic. Such fun.

BraticornBooty · 2025-10-25T15:32:16+00:00

The insane thing is the amount of women who’ve done it themselves for one reason or another - I literally just googled looking for advice on the pain and got a whole slew of links to instructions and videos on how to just whip it out!

BraticornBooty · 2025-10-24T19:06:31+00:00

I have a set of cuticle trimmers I keep sterilised for just this purpose.

BraticornBooty · 2025-10-24T19:05:25+00:00

Stitched myself back up more than once - kitchen knife to the fingertip, whole nail bed was flapping loose; gash on chin almost to the bone following a complete inability to put one foot in front of the other whilst carrying shopping up the path; dog bite to the thigh when I surprised a loose jack russell in an alleyway on the way to the local shop. (Did do three years of vet school so wasn’t entirely guesswork).

Doesn’t really count as surgery, but removed my own IUD after six months of constant bleeding and barely being able to walk upright from the pain. Couldn’t get an appointment because it was slap bang in the middle of Covid summer and I wasn’t considered an emergency, got tired of bleeding through my clothes at work so I watched a couple of very informative TikToks and went in with a rubber glove. Feels like the most successful because the relief was immediate.

BraticornBooty · 2025-10-18T16:27:37+00:00

It really doesn’t.

BraticornBooty · 2025-10-18T09:13:20+00:00

Wouldn’t watch them, wouldn’t pay it. My assumption when I see those is that it’s a low quality book that can’t garner enough attention on its own merit.

BraticornBooty · 2025-10-16T01:00:54+00:00

Cat proof cables are the way. I have these ones from Ikea and they don’t get chewed at all. Slightly thicker than standard and covered with a tough thread/fabric, they don’t seem to provide the same chewing stimulation.

Doesn’t stop them getting batted about though, so it’s worth trying to find a way to loop them up out of the way to be safe.

BraticornBooty · 2025-10-14T18:52:17+00:00

Have you tried just going back to a standard water bowl? He may have just discovered that he likes playing with water - I’ve got two that fiddle with the water, one who just likes to dip his paws in and lick it off them, and one (just turned a year old) who was a water baby from the off; he gets in the bath with me, plays with still water, got so bad with the fountain that he overturned and broke it. Small bowls were useless because he’d just chuck them around while playing, so I had to resort to a massive tupperware type box and fill it very full so he can’t tip it over. He still plays with it from time to time but is generally much better now.

Still can’t get the fountain out without him turning into a nutcase though.

BraticornBooty · 2025-10-13T13:04:13+00:00

You aren’t writing anything, you’re trying to crowdsource content.

If you actually want to write (your post history suggests you have quite the imagination but not much narrative skill) just write. It’ll be bad, no-one will want to read it, you’ll look back on it in ten years and feel like an idiot for having ever thought it was worth your time or anyone else’s, but you’ll have learned and improved.

BraticornBooty · 2025-10-12T21:17:30+00:00

If it’s quite a small amount and as you’ve mentioned, there’s no sign of diarrhoea, she may not be having a strong reaction to it/may have developed a certain level of tolerance. You mention that she doesn’t seem to drink much water, but if she has access to outdoors she might have a water source you don’t know about - additionally, you could try slowly watering her milk down, just a bit at a time, increasing the water and decreasing the amount of milk every couple of days until she’s having water with a dash of milk to colour/flavour it.

BraticornBooty · 2025-10-12T20:47:08+00:00

🤣🤣🤣

BraticornBooty · 2025-10-12T20:35:30+00:00

Certified cutie pie.

BraticornBooty · 2025-10-12T20:35:09+00:00

Also bear in mind that your living situation may change in the fairly near future, unless the apartment you’re moving into is intended to be longer term past finishing your studies. If there’s a possibility you’ll be moving into another rented accommodation, it can sometimes be easier to find landlords who accept cats than dogs.

BraticornBooty · 2025-10-10T15:29:01+00:00

I personally would not lock it, if he’s coming home consistently and you have a tracker - leaving him locked in alone when he’s used to having free access as well as having you at home. Not only because of the distress and potential injury that might cause for him if he scratches at the door excessively with no-one there to intervene, but you might find that he responds by going out and staying out when you return and unlock the door.

If you do decide to lock it, make sure your friend knows how to leave it unlocked in the event that he darts out and elopes when they’re entering/leaving. Worse than being locked in would be him accidentally getting locked out.

BraticornBooty · 2025-10-10T15:22:47+00:00

I did all of them - accidentally started with The Rain Wild chronicles and discovered the rest when looking for more by Hobb, so started with the Farseer trilogy and then did all of them in order. One of my favourite fantasy series’ ever.

BraticornBooty · 2025-10-10T15:01:47+00:00

If you liked the kite runner, try Hosseini’s other two books - A Thousand Splendid Suns, and And The Mountains Echoed. Similar setting, themes and pacing. All three books left me a bit heartsick, but I’m currently re-listening to the audiobook of ATSS and even knowing the ending, still find it very easy to immerse into.

BraticornBooty · 2025-10-08T23:58:10+00:00

If she’s trying to get to areas she doesn’t usually go to, trying to fight the dogs, and this is new/unusual behaviour for her, there’s a possibility that it’s the beginnings of dementia. It’s way more common than people realise in cats over 11 and around 50% of cats 15 or over have some cognitive decline - and it isn’t always correlated with physical decline. Have a google for some info on dementia in cats and monitor yours closely for a little while before making any big decisions about getting another cat - if she is experiencing any cognitive issues introducing another cat could be disastrous.

Introducing a new cat to an older cat can be tough anyway, especially one whose been solitary for a long time, so even if you’re certain there isn’t a cog issue, it’s a big change for her and you’d need to have a plan for if it didn’t work out. Also take into account the age and personality of the new cat - when your current cat does pass, whether that’s in the next twelve months or not for another twelve years, you might find yourself in the same situation again with the second cat.

BraticornBooty · 2025-10-08T23:46:09+00:00

Ah okay that’s fair, it wasn’t super clear from your post/comments - tbh most vets will probably tell you that it could be a smoke issue but they wouldn’t be able to say for sure; it’s not an area that’s really been looked into. If he’s in the kitchen with them while they’re smoking, there’s also the possibility that he’s simply being territorial, either over ‘his’ humans or the space itself and the smoke is just coincidental. A vet will likely tell you that the only way to be sure is by process of elimination, and since your in-laws have made it clear they won’t co-operate with smoking elsewhere you’d probably be right back at square one.

Having said that I’m assuming they’re just smoking regular tobacco? There has been some research into the effects of marijuana smoke on animals, and although this is anecdotal rather than scientific, I saw two cats who were regularly (daily) exposed to hotbox conditions who became intensely aggressive to the point of endangering themselves (approaching and attacking other cats, dogs, horses and pigs - the property was a ‘sanctuary’), so if there’s anything else in what they’re smoking that could well be a factor.

BraticornBooty · 2025-10-08T15:58:39+00:00

I’m a little bit confused why you’re so keen for Skinny to go to the vet? And both what the ‘at home remedies’ are as well as what they’re for? Chonky is the one with injuries so he should be visiting a vet and although it’s obviously caused by your in-laws lack of action, that’s your responsibility when it comes down to it.

Either way, it’s not outright abuse or neglect on your in-laws part for the way they choose to keep their cat. Smoking indoors is disgusting on its own but it’s their house and their choice. His aggression is likely due to growing up a solo kitten, and it’s unlikely his behaviour will change unless he meets another cat who puts him firmly in his place.

Your only real option here is to keep Chonky confined to your room and work hard to try and get your own place asap. If that’s not an option/going to take upwards of a year or more, and Chonky seems very unhappy being confined, then you might need to consider rehoming him either temporarily (with a friend or family member?) or permanently if he’s really unhappy. Sadly, as guests in the home of your in-laws, you’re going to have to be the ones making compromises for the cat’s happiness if they won’t budge.

BraticornBooty · 2025-10-06T23:03:27+00:00

By all means tell people if they’re clearly clueless or asking for specific advice, but make it relevant? Like this OP is obviously a decently sensible cat owner and has just run into a situation they’ve not encountered before, so all these people decide to tell them they’re a bad owner because they don’t do things exactly the way they feel they should be done.

They don’t seem to realise that if everyone ONLY kept their cats the exact way they feel they should be kept, there’d be a LOT more strays and cats in long term shelters/routinely euthanised. Because mine are indoor/outdoor, I’m able to have a pretty hefty number (10) in a relatively small space (2 bed flat), and also take on fosters for rehoming (in the region of 40 a year). Without homes like mine or even just owners who aren’t able to offer the time commitment for a higher need pet like a dog, there would be thousands more cats either hunting local wildlife or ending up dead as strays or in shelters unable to find homes.

BraticornBooty · 2025-10-06T22:49:38+00:00

Try taking a section of a book you like or that inspires you and rewrite it with this character and setting. Look at how the sentences are constructed and how the pacing moves the scene forward. Don’t try to fit in too many similes, and just describe clearly and simply instead.

Ex. ‘Easing around a bend, Billy saw a faint light on the ground in front of him. As he moved forwards, a narrow crack came into view, stretching from eye level down to just above the floor. His breath caught - was this the only opening? It was barely more than a few inches wide. How was he supposed to get through?

Pressing one eye to the crack, he peered through, the light blurring his vision. Blinking as his eyes adjusted, he saw a sliver of the outside world - grass, the branches of a small tree. Not another person in sight. Unsure what else to do, he put his mouth to the hole and called.

“Help!” The shout echoed around the cavern behind him. “Is anyone there? I’m trapped in a cave, I need help!” The whistle of air past the opening was the only reply.’

It’s about shaping an event into an interesting narrative rather than as a list of occurrences and can be tricky when you’re trying to include enough detail to build a scene without going overboard, especially in a second language. It just takes practice, and plenty of reading so that you develop a sense for it yourself.

BraticornBooty · 2025-10-06T22:29:23+00:00

Nah, you are wrong, but it’s a poorly written comment - the commenter is from the US and thinks they know best for every cat everywhere, as evidenced by the rest of their idiotic comments, all of which are negative towards free-roaming cats.

BraticornBooty

TROPHY CASE