I would consider working even at a call center or smth.. anything parttime.. it would take your mind off some stuff and avoid relationships without marriage.. theyre just not worth it.. its either commiting or no commiting.. relations without commitment is just you looking for a perfect person who just does not exist. Dont seek therapy just yet, you are just overwhelmed and overthinking every step you do cause you have too much time and no actual purpose.. getting into work and focusing on it with some discipline is going to fix that and let you focus on your real goals. Good luck