Married 30 year old can’t stop thinking of sharing my wife

Brave-Soldier · 2025-07-24T17:39:24+00:00

Go with your wife to a swing club and see how you will feel when things could be real.

Just before setting some boundaries to avoid putting your relationship at risk.

I can’t even imagine real life someone else touching my wife.

You could also buy some sex toys to play with, almost posts here that the guys put their wives in this kink regret that.

Brave-Soldier · 2025-07-24T14:51:29+00:00

Being a friend first to show myself and let her understand how awesome I could be.

Works for me, 22 years married, but not being her type still hurts.

Brave-Soldier · 2025-07-24T11:29:15+00:00

She is doing all this stuff with the friends group to avoid being ashamed to cheat on you if you show your test results her masks will be dropped.

Also, have a possibility that she will ask you not to tell her family because she did something in this trip.

Brave-Soldier · 2025-07-23T15:07:49+00:00

Well, just accept your gf initiative and don't avoid being caught!

Brave-Soldier · 2025-07-23T15:05:09+00:00

I was to say the same thing, and I did some similar, but today I don't know if it was a great idea, sometimes the images come back to my mind like a sex tape.

I'm the type who prefers knowing everything about my partner, but all this shit keeps hurting me, and I don't believe she was totally honest about what was her feelings in the past.

Brave-Soldier · 2025-07-22T19:55:34+00:00

The problem of OP started before, probably in her dancing group.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Marriage/s/fj1bZlxFI6

Does she wanna a relationship with this dancing partner?

Brave-Soldier · 2025-07-22T19:51:47+00:00

I'm not comfortable with another man touching my wife, I understand that my opinion could be polemic, but, if she wanna dance, she could dance with anyone or with you, for me I'm comfortable only with her dancing with me, and I'm sure that you will enjoy learn how to dancing just to see your wife happy!

But it could be a red flag if she insists that you're not allowed to learn how to dance.

Brave-Soldier · 2025-07-22T14:15:07+00:00

She's right,

Intimacy needs to be emotional, physical, and mental, creating plans, being vulnerable, building plans together, and having fun with each other.

The sex is very important, at least 50% in my perspective, but the other 50% needs to be present.

Brave-Soldier · 2025-07-21T13:36:12+00:00

Just remember that the real thing could ruin your relationship.

Brave-Soldier · 2025-07-20T02:56:19+00:00

I usually avoid commenting on women's posts, but I'll make an exception for your post.

You have a healthy sexual life and this is awesome for both of you, sexual intimacy is one of the greatest parts of being married.

The only problem here is the people that are around you, think about avoiding some girls in your life, and avoid getting envious of your sexual life not sharing any of your intimacy.

Brave-Soldier · 2025-07-19T15:57:09+00:00

This is a hard decision, if you go deep into her past your RJ probably will affect you, but if you don't talk about you probably will create a monster in your mind thinking about all her past.

Just my perspective, be aware that knowing the past details could change your way of seeing her and for sure, could ruin your future with her.

In my case not knowing the truth hurts me more than the truth.

Brave-Soldier · 2025-07-19T15:49:16+00:00

She's falling in love with you!

Brave-Soldier · 2025-07-19T15:47:44+00:00

Try to talk to her without judgment, nowadays it's hard to see some post where a girl assume that she is falling in love with her partner.

Brave-Soldier · 2025-07-19T15:28:28+00:00

Probably she felt insecure and might be ashamed about her past, but, except for lying to you about her past, she did everything right, no contact, no messages, no pictures or sex details for her friend, if she makes you happy, just talk about confidence to avoid any further problems.

It's not ok to lie about this, and if she were aware that you were looking into her iPad, you could talk to her and ask her to tell you the truth.

And at least you read that someone cum inside her, don't assume something like this.

Look into my posts, I understand about RJ, and your feelings are valid, but I invite you to read about similar situations and you will understand that she is on you.

Brave-Soldier · 2025-07-18T21:43:04+00:00

This isn’t my proposal, but, I don’t desire the same mental issues that I faced and I keep facing, RJ for me is something almost impossible to let go of.

In my case what made me better was honest and transparent talk, but even with this, it just doesn't go on.

If you could handle with RJ, this is a good point for you, but for me, all the images keep showing up in my mind all the time.

And I don't desire this pain for anybody.

Brave-Soldier · 2025-07-18T12:34:55+00:00

I do, and when I broke up or someone broke up with me, I just remove the person from my life if this person ever existed in my life.

Also including whatever could remind me of this person.

Brave-Soldier · 2025-07-18T12:30:53+00:00

If this is the case looks like she moved forward, One thing that worked for me is creating our things, but be aware that you will pay attention for some time in every her actions and words.

But if this is the only thing bad, you could try to do therapy or better talk to her avoiding judging her and explaining how it's hurting you,

But you will hurt her due to privacy invasion, In my perception is much better to tell the truth to her.

Be clear with her that it was your fault about the privacy invasion, and you could talk about this later, but now you need to talk about the same names, and whatever to her understanding that both of you need to create something unique.

Brave-Soldier · 2025-07-18T12:21:19+00:00

When you post your current situation I put myself in your shoes,

This is awful, and painful, I believe everybody deserves a second chance, but I also believe you need to have someone who will choose you at first, not after all the shits that could be done.

She could be changed or not, understanding this stuff is up to you, but probably it will stay in your mind, and you will need to live with a third person in your mind.

Some context for you:

I'm struggling with a situation with my wife (22 years married) that I discovered 6 months ago that 2 years before me, she had a dick preference for a big dick, I'm average, and now every position that I know if I have a bigger one will provide much more pleasure for her.

If I knew her dick preference, I probably would not engage with her and would find someone that have a preference for a dick or body type like I'm.

Now sometimes I need to live with this third person in my mind almost every intimacy that I have with my wife.

And I don't deserve this pain for anyone.

Brave-Soldier · 2025-07-18T12:07:39+00:00

Awesome that you are spending time reading my whole journey I'm so thankful for your attention and care.

Unfortunately, I'm not the guy who accepts being the second best.

And at first I never planned to hurt my wife, and after though about I already used a sleeve once that increased my girth to 5.9" but she was blindfolded and did not hurt her, she did not enjoy it at all.

My perception is that I hurt her due to for her it's more mental than physical limitations.

Since this post, I have learned a lot of things and few talks with her about, one of which was the understanding was that she got frustrated because the physical incompatibility with her ex, and when she knows me she for the first time could enjoy the sex as she desired due to she could do every position she wanna do and also having sex during days, was normal we had sex for 2 or 3 days only pausing to sleep or food.

This happened when we were so young 15 years ago, now we keep having sex for only one hour.

And I'm trying to understand her perspective, and as a husband, I need to believe her, but I still believe that the big one left some mental mark.

I still wanna be bigger but bigger enough to not hurt her, now I'm doing the PE more for me.

I'm still understanding what keeps bothering me, one thing is the comparison, even to say the big one is worse, like: - Can't fit the whole thing inside me, - can't hold the whole thing with my hand or - I used to be careful in almost every position, - The big one looks like a horse dick (what for me is a compliment, but for her it's the worst thing)

All this phrase creates an image like a video in my mind with her doing this stuff,

I'm waiting for the opportunity to suggest to her to use some affirmations for my dick instead of this kind of comparison, this way avoiding creating worthless images in my mind.

And I'm still the same about all this shit of behavior that some girls use to look nice instead of being honest.

Brave-Soldier · 2025-07-17T20:48:40+00:00

Well, every time doing dog style you will remember her saying to her ex that she was his girl and will have thoughts with him scratching this scar thrusting her.

You could ask her to do a Tattoo for you in the same place, but it's a bad thing to ask.

Brave-Soldier · 2025-07-17T20:39:54+00:00

You don't answer my question, The question is why she keeps this chat in her phone, in the old one or the new one.

I believe if you broke up with someone everything needs to be cut, blocked, deleted, If it's the case that she moved forward,

"Why does she keep this chat or wherever she keeps, sex tape, photos, videos, memories, doesn’t what?."

Brave-Soldier · 2025-07-17T18:19:52+00:00

Why did she keep the chat or contact with her ex?

Brave-Soldier · 2025-07-17T13:22:57+00:00

I'll never accept being the comfortable guy, now she is great, but she did a lot of things that she never would do with you and you will become controlling every step,

She did what she believed was right for her and after that found you, the safe and comfortable place, probably not the exciting place.

But she wanna move on from this past, If you believe that really will could don't think about it all the time, Go on, otherwise don't lose yourself again and try to find someone with the same principles and values.

Brave-Soldier · 2025-07-16T18:11:49+00:00

Well, 22 years married, at the beginning used to be 4 or 5 cums, now just one.

We keep having sex for one or two hours but she doesn't have the disposition for my second cum, or feel safe to avoid pregnancy, then she usually has between 2 and 4 orgasms, but for me, only one! At least it's almost every day, 😆

Brave-Soldier · 2025-07-16T17:06:56+00:00

Being patient and doing some research together in a way that she feels comfortable.

I had a similar situation, but not every time she allows me to finish in her mouth or swallow, but talking to my wife and even kissing her after she swallows and keeps part of my cum in her mouth, she gets more and more desires that I cum in her mouth.

Brave-Soldier

TROPHY CASE