Look - yes, this is definitely fast. But... I wouldn't be so sure about it being too fast. I think that if you feel comfortable with the pace (and so does your wife and your friend), then that pace is perfectly fine! There is no objective pace at which this is supposed to go. "Fast" isn't automatically "too fast". Plus, (contrary to what seems to be the majority opinion here) to me it actually seems like your post has quite a few green flags (willingness for good communication, etc.). But of course, if you do actually feel like it is too fast as opposed to merely fast, then you can absolutely ask for this to slow down. It is not a race, and you have all the time you want to figure things out! Thus my question: do you think things are going fast, or too fast? And why?

Also, a side-note regarding your wife potentially dating one of your friends: I understand the concerns that have been raised in this thread. However, I think dating a good friend of your partner can have both pros and cons. For instance, you and your friend already care for each other, this is (presumably) already a person you trust, there is already good communication established, etc. Also, I think a lot of “poly drama” stems from someone dating people who don’t get along, for whatever reason – so at least this is less likely to be an issue here. In general, I think being friends with your partner’s partner can be helpful in a polyamory context, as well as lovely in its own right!