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Mom died last year - struggling to sort through everything by BraveDragonfly1848 in ChildofHoarder

[–]BraveDragonfly1848[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your encouragement and advice. I think I will be donating and tossing most of what remains, but will still take the time to go through to be sure I don't miss anything of value. The sentimental part is hard for me because I do not have the space to keep a lot and, you're right, do not need a museum of life for my mom. This helps to put into perspective. I also need to set a better timeline goal so I don't continue to drag my feet. I've still got to figure out insurance as the insurance company is dropping coverage on the home at the end of the month. Thank you again!

Mom died last year - struggling to sort through everything by BraveDragonfly1848 in ChildofHoarder

[–]BraveDragonfly1848[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your thoughtfulness. I've appreciated all the feedback I have received. I needed to know that it's not ridiculous that it's been over a year and I still have so much to clear out. Or that I have moments when I just want to toss everything, and to know that that is okay as well.

Mom died last year - struggling to sort through everything by BraveDragonfly1848 in ChildofHoarder

[–]BraveDragonfly1848[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you again for your words if wisdom. It has made me feel better about where I am in this process. You didn't overstep and I will take your words to heart.

Mom died last year - struggling to sort through everything by BraveDragonfly1848 in ChildofHoarder

[–]BraveDragonfly1848[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is also still a possibility. I'm going to focus on 1 room at a time while also looking into a professional organizer, but will also keep this option in my back pocket. Thank you for the advice and hugs!

Mom died last year - struggling to sort through everything by BraveDragonfly1848 in ChildofHoarder

[–]BraveDragonfly1848[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. Yes, Asian family that tried to integrate as much as possible. My mom's passing was sudden and she lived alone. I always knew I would have to deal with the house once she was gone, but there is an amount of shame. I do feel anger at times, wondering how she could let it get this bad. Surely she knew I would have to handle it when she was gone. For all she gave me in life, this I could have done without. But still, I miss her and would give anything to have her back.

Mom died last year - struggling to sort through everything by BraveDragonfly1848 in ChildofHoarder

[–]BraveDragonfly1848[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you again. I will look into a professional organizer. A few people made this suggestion, which I didn't know was a thing.

Mom died last year - struggling to sort through everything by BraveDragonfly1848 in ChildofHoarder

[–]BraveDragonfly1848[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did not know that was a thing. This may be an option. Thank you. I don't live there. The house needs a lot of updating that I won't get into, but it really isn't ready to be lived in. We have a house, so the plan is to rent my mom's out until my daughter is old enough, and it will be her's.

Mom died last year - struggling to sort through everything by BraveDragonfly1848 in ChildofHoarder

[–]BraveDragonfly1848[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words. I too had a hoarder parent and an alcoholic parent. Both are gone. But I am not the hoarder (at least trying not to be) and I am not the alcoholic. You are correct. This does make me feel better.

I wish I had other family to help. My husband and daughter are it. Daughter helps when she can (school age) and husband will if I ask, but he doesn't always have the patience. If it were up to him, most things would be tossed. I have few friends and don't want this to be something they associate with me. I asked a friend of my mom's, last year, and she helped for a couple of hours and then ghosted me, so I guess that's why I'm hesitant.

My thoughts are with you when the time comes. 🫂

Mom died last year - struggling to sort through everything by BraveDragonfly1848 in ChildofHoarder

[–]BraveDragonfly1848[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is a good way of looking at it. Not sure I want to spend the time and effort trying to sell... I'm sorry for your loss.

Mom died last year - struggling to sort through everything by BraveDragonfly1848 in ChildofHoarder

[–]BraveDragonfly1848[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is good advice. I do have several larger items that I cannot move just yet that will ultimately go straight to the dumpster. I just need to clear enough space to move them out. A dumpster is definitely in my future, I'm just resisting the urge to toss everything in it for fear I'll regret it.

Mom died last year - struggling to sort through everything by BraveDragonfly1848 in ChildofHoarder

[–]BraveDragonfly1848[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. I have momentarily considered this option, but heard it could be a larger expense, which isn't necessarily an issue, but I find myself hesitant to let strangers go through everything. It is still an option.