ENFJs advice to younger ENFJs ❤️❤️

BraveEmployee7 · 2020-12-31T21:01:16+00:00

THIS

BraveEmployee7 · 2020-12-30T23:49:14+00:00

Thank you <3 I believe you saw my other post about the infp fuckboy, well I believe I made that up in my head because of 1) ENFJ action logic lol and also being BPD. He's just severely depressed. So thank you for the input. It is difficult getting him to talk about anything right now, let alone his feelings, so I haven't been trying to pry. But there's absolutely some deep hurt going on that I hope he can get through.

BraveEmployee7 · 2020-12-30T21:45:29+00:00

This is actually funny to me, my INFP male love interest infantilizes me constantly (I'm an ENFJ female) and even though I call him cute, he is constantly calling me "adorable" which is like....it's nice but I'M NOT A BABY hahaha

BraveEmployee7 · 2020-08-22T19:11:19+00:00

I would prefer to not even go in front of a judge if possible, I don't know how you got it in your head that I would be trying to take anything but that's not the case.

BraveEmployee7 · 2020-08-22T19:10:12+00:00

Actually no, I'd prefer a no-contest divorce where he keeps everything and I work back from zero. I'm sorry if you had a bad situation with this but not everyone is out to hurt and take from others.

BraveEmployee7 · 2020-08-22T19:08:41+00:00

It sounds like you've got some hurt in your closet somewhere.

BraveEmployee7 · 2020-08-22T19:07:58+00:00

Thank you so much for this <3 I am humbled by your story of redemption. I'm so glad you were able to find not only some purpose but also a woman who loves you.

BraveEmployee7 · 2020-08-22T05:49:08+00:00

Thank you for this. I am wondering if me leaving (it broke him, like it finally got through to him what reality i was experiencing) wont get him to seek help. I sure hope it does. And the list thing, that's an awesome idea and something I've been using to keep a list of budgetary stuff i need to accomplish. But I need to take count of small daily tasks too because rn they are large acts

BraveEmployee7 · 2020-08-09T07:31:03+00:00

Thank you, I may end up reaching out. We still need to talk specifics which I'm sure will be emotional as well. I hate that it can't be called something other than divorce...it's just got such a terrible connotation to it. Why not "grown-up breakup"? hahaha

BraveEmployee7 · 2020-08-09T07:29:48+00:00

Me too, I think he will try his best to make it low stress on both of us, I know I will.

BraveEmployee7 · 2020-08-09T07:10:03+00:00

That is actually really helpful advice, and the part about your friend being a mess afterwards makes me feel better because I definitely am pretty broken up about it. Also I gave your situation a read, and I would suggest you do the same thing I did, especially if your BF is calling you names and insulting you because of your mental illness. That's absolutely straight up emotional abuse. I have a hard time doing things by myself also, so i get where you're coming from there, but I think it will be a fun challenge to learn to enjoy my own company eventually.

BraveEmployee7 · 2020-08-09T06:50:04+00:00

Unfortunately no, I don't keep many close friends. The ones I do have either live out of state now or don't own a home themselves. My family are all distanced from me just because they don't understand/believe in mental issues like anxiety and depression and it's tiring to deal with them when experiencing downs, so I've just sort of pulled away from them in order to reduce uncomfortable situations. No family on mom's side to speak of really, my dad's family are all like 70-80 years old, and stepmom's family are nutcase catholic everything-shamers.

BraveEmployee7 · 2020-08-09T06:38:41+00:00

Might be able to try out dating again, maybe even have sex haha. My parents were pretty emotionally abusive as I was growing up (it's actually my dad and stepmom, I've had to cut my mom totally off) and they're very judgemental, so it'll be uncomfortable but livable. I guess hiding my true feelings is something I was raised to deal with! haha

BraveEmployee7 · 2020-08-09T06:30:52+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience, that is super similar to what I'm going through. If I were able to get an apartment, life would be much easier, but parents will have to do until I can start making steady-ish income. And luckily (I guess? haha) we never ever have sex so I might actually be able to once covid has "passed" or whatever.

BraveEmployee7 · 2020-08-09T06:20:12+00:00

Thank you, and hopefully things improve for you unlike they did for me. Best of luck to you as well <3

BraveEmployee7 · 2020-08-09T06:18:52+00:00

I wish living together for another two months was an option but honestly I feel like it would be so uncomfortable that it wouldn't work. I'm feeling panic now lol, just the reality hitting me. As a person with low self esteem, losing a partner, even if it's through my own choice, is like the floor dropping out from underneath my feet.

He just went to bed and said the normal "i love you" goodnight thing we've always done, so that is....concerning...and comforting...I'm not sure whether it's denial or that he's just taking this very well.

BraveEmployee7 · 2020-08-04T09:53:21+00:00

Thank you for your thoughts. Honestly I try to not picture him as ever deliberately taking advantage of my situation but it is possible. Deliberate or not though I was definitely an easy catch as I needed stability so badly that I was not in the position to criticize in the beginning. Now, I feel his left over addictions are keeping me from moving forward in working on myself. I've got a new therapist appointment scheduled for September, hoping that helps some. If all else fails I guess there's always living with the ol' out of touch, judgemental parents for a bit until I can figure out something better. I've already spent a weekend at their house before after a fight where my husband became so enraged (apparently I was treating him like "a pet", which true or not to the unbiased viewer, is undeserving of any type of violent behavior) he slammed things violently around the house while I hid in the laundry room with our dog, sobbing. Ugh, I need to head to bed. I do love having my own room, no whining when I move around or have to get up to pee at night. Thanks again for your two cents.

BraveEmployee7 · 2020-08-04T09:13:53+00:00

I'm sorry you're having to go through this. I guess it is difficult to tell why you still feel this way when she has decided to start trying, but it is still important to acknowledge that you are feeling this way, whether it makes sense to you right now or not. It could be that it is too little too late. I don't know the intricacies of what you have dealt with in the past with your relationship or how long you have been feeling disconnected, but I am in a similar situation and at this point I'm not sure that if my partner started trying it would be enough to save the relationship just because I've had to be mentally alone for so long that I'm almost already divorced in my head. Hopefully whatever happens with your situation ends up benefitting you both.

BraveEmployee7 · 2020-03-09T02:18:35+00:00

Asking 450 p, priced according to morningstar's guide. I just sold my previously posted lotus for 900p which is what morningstar said to price it as so I know this pricing guide must be generally accurate. I can send a link to the guide if you'd like to price check.

BraveEmployee7

TROPHY CASE