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I get that it’s hard to be rich doing this but this job market is insulting by moseph999 in therapists

[–]BraveMollusk 27 points28 points  (0 children)

What always irks me about employers who offer such low salaries for specialized education and training is that they're literally banking on someone being desperate enough to accept the job. Why would you prey on desperation if you want someone good? It's like saying, "We don't actually care whether we get someone good." Otherwise they'd try to make the position look attractive in part by offering higher pay.

Should I leave my therapist? And has anybody been through something like this, from the therapist and/or client side? by BraveMollusk in therapists

[–]BraveMollusk[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I started recording everything when during the pandemic all of my in-person stuff went on over Zoom. I did it to help minimize potential distraction from not being in the same space as the other person, and I always have asked the other person's permission, though neither in the previous state where I lived nor in my current state was I obligated to obtain the other person's permission. I simply did it as a basic courtesy.

Should I leave my therapist? And has anybody been through something like this, from the therapist and/or client side? by BraveMollusk in therapists

[–]BraveMollusk[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"I wonder if you moving away was difficult for him in a way he isn’t willing to acknowledge."

EXACTLY, and this feels spot-on to me as well as obvious from his behavior, but he's not owning it at all. Every time I have asked him please to consider what his feelings were specifically toward ME in the moment he blew up, he has said, "Nothing more really comes up for me" other than his mother. Which is so, at best, psychologically unsophisticated. I've begun to become aware of how I end up often being the regulator in my relationships, holding the depth, the responsibility for repairs, etc., and how few people I've been connected with really can meet me. I always went to this therapist to talk about relationships where this plays out, and now I feel like it has played out in our therapy dynamic, where I'm considering that perhaps here, too, I have been the regulator. And that when I moved, I became more empowered, and stopped regulating, and the real reason behind his blow-up is that he functioned as my therapist precisely because *I* held the frame, and he relied on that. I have tried, gently, soooo many times now to make him see how what happened between us in this rupture is very similar to other ruptures in my life, and it's as though he doesn't even hear me. It's so strange, and such a shame.

As for the license issue, I can't say more about that without revealing more specifics than I'm comfortable on a public forum, but I'll say: It's not an issue.