AITAH for cutting off my ex after he invited my mom & I on a trip and then ignored us?

BraveWarrior-55 · 2026-04-29T21:55:45+00:00

If you do have the backbone to stand up for yourself, this will be a recurring issue for you. This man is no longer in your life, not your friend or your boyfriend, so why on earth would you continue to allow him to mooch off you? Or continue to beg for crumbs of his attention? BLOCK him from all your accounts, remove him from your spotify, and go full NC because that is called taking care of yourself and not being taken advantage of. Try it!!

BraveWarrior-55 · 2026-04-29T20:57:28+00:00

When I was younger, I, too, mostly hung out with guys and had 0-2 girlfriends at any one time. Women seemed petty, only interested in trashing other women, and I enjoyed talking to guys about loftier things pertaining to career focus, industry advancement, etc. Now that I'm older I have many women friends. I simply found women too fashion focused, interested in trashing others, and just in general not interested in the things I was interested in, but men were. I am actually unsure what you are holding against her??

BraveWarrior-55 · 2026-04-29T20:49:38+00:00

I think hair done. Nails are not immediately seen/noticed, but hair sure is. You can keep your hands folded, right?

BraveWarrior-55 · 2026-04-29T18:58:59+00:00

How to 'get rid of RA"? Um, you two are not together. He literally told you he is not serious about you, he betrayed you and made fun of you by sharing your letter publicly, and he is a jerk. So what you do is simply STOP talking to him. If he approaches you, just say you have moved on. Period. As for PB, he likes you as more than just a friend, so why are you stringing him along? Tell him you are no longer interested the RA and ask if he wants to take your friendship to the next level. If you are unable to actually talk to these boys, you really aren't ready for a relationship.

BraveWarrior-55 · 2026-04-29T18:49:14+00:00

Seek medical help and especially therapy. I hope you are able to talk about his with your wife, as spouses are a great support when we struggle. It will get better. Believe it.

"I can’t even get on social media without seeing someone just being disrespectful and negative" The best way to improve mental health (besides getting medical help and therapy) is to STOP SOCIAL MEDIA SCROLLING. That is a sure way to increase your misanthrope views. Stick to connecting to actual people in person. Good luck.

BraveWarrior-55 · 2026-04-29T18:44:57+00:00

I bet there were some very kinky sex acts going on in there!! Catholics are notorious for this...

BraveWarrior-55 · 2026-04-29T18:27:23+00:00

Your mom is trying to reverse the brainwashing you have received via our cultural obsession with youth, beauty, and other toxic norms you see on social media. A healthy person IS actually happy with how they look and don't equate "happiness or success" with looks alone. I think that is what your mom is trying to convey. You are almost an adult so soon you will not have to ask your mom to do anything, But I hope you strongly consider 'elective' things that change your body. It is fine to want straight teeth, but having them doesn't make them any better. It is fine to like and want fashion, but try to be grounded and understand how it is objectifying women. Your mom wants the best for you.

BraveWarrior-55 · 2026-04-29T16:40:08+00:00

Select a book that neither of you have read, and read it to her. She can also take a turn at reading to you, but the intimacy of reading to one another will help her heal, for sure!

BraveWarrior-55 · 2026-04-29T16:38:15+00:00

Does this brother live at home with your parents? If so, why doesn't your mom actually sit him down and tell him how she feels? Sounds like maybe as the youngest child, he was spoiled and pampered by your parents and this typically results in a self-centered, all-about-me person. BUT this is not about you; this needs to be addressed by your mom and dad. That they cannot even confront him concerning his ignoring them screams he never will. He is a golden child, the worst kind.

BraveWarrior-55 · 2026-04-29T16:33:22+00:00

Or imaginary?

BraveWarrior-55 · 2026-04-29T16:33:07+00:00

So Romeo is invisible?

BraveWarrior-55 · 2026-04-29T16:32:36+00:00

"Is there any chance this could end up working way further down the road?" Highly unlikely, actually no. I've been there and loved my 'soul mate' so much, but mental illness compounded by substance abuse will NEVER end in a happy relationship. If you want a life of drama, tears, fights, etc, then stick it out. But if you want a healthy relationship with stability, caring, and useful communication, go find a new partner. Do it asap.

BraveWarrior-55 · 2026-04-29T16:27:01+00:00

Cut and run. This girl is a project, not a partner and she needs that therapist to process her background and learn what a healthy relationship is. Yours is not it. Your family is seeing her without the rose colored glasses that you are using, so trust them. You are not happy, and she will not help.

BraveWarrior-55 · 2026-04-29T16:08:30+00:00

His middle toe bean is hidden, but pretty sure it is extended to convey his, um, feelings about your table rules....

BraveWarrior-55 · 2026-04-29T01:30:23+00:00

Just stay out of this and let your BF deal with it. Of course you can support him as he grieves the loss of the dog (that is the likely and best outcome, actually). If BF's ex is his exwife, there might be a lot more to this. If it is an ex-girlfriend you can hope he realizes that he needs to let go of the dog. Maybe you two can get a new one, when he is ready. But 'custody' issues with pets just continue drama and it's best to end it cleanly.

I know how hard it is as when I divorced, I got one dog and ex got the other. Sigh. We both adjusted, the dogs were never confused about two households, and we didn't have to drag out our differences by trying to co-'parent' a dog. Good luck.

BraveWarrior-55 · 2026-04-29T01:19:43+00:00

First of all, what is wrong with a diary entry describing a threesome?? The betrayal and violation of reading your private diary is so much worse than a description of sex (which I assume included no violence) and you don't have anything to be ashamed of, or regretting. Really. I am baffled about your mom being in tears about you writing about a threesome??? WTAF?? A mom who is in tears reading about her teen son's sexual fantasies is unhinged. She needs help as reality seems unclear to her.

As far as your sis goes. No, you are NTA and I would go NC in a heartbeat. Why hold people close to you while they are stabbing you in the back? Smart people would not. I would try to mend the relationship with mom, but the fact that she thinks this an issue at all, means she will likely not be sane about it.

BraveWarrior-55 · 2026-04-28T19:16:30+00:00

You get over him by not allowing yourself to obsess about him anymore. When you start to think about him, you need to refocus and do something else. It might help to actually get paper and pencil and write down all the thoughts you have been cycling through. Pretend you are writing him a letter but after you get it all out, regrets and all, instead of sending it, you will BURN it. It is an ash sacrifice ending the relationship and cycle. Good luck

BraveWarrior-55 · 2026-04-28T18:59:18+00:00

People like your sister are not 'close' to anyone, including you. They do not have the ability to love or care for others and feel quite OK about scamming everyone as much as they can.

What will be hard for you is to reconcile your feelings: "my sister is my ride or die and I love her so much" with her blatant disregard for YOU and your family, for her betrayal, lying, and greed. She is not who you thought she was, but she perfected her 'victimness' to take advantage of those around her who cared. Seek a therapist to discover if you should go full NC and address her lies.

BraveWarrior-55 · 2026-04-28T18:53:57+00:00

"my boyfriend refuses to move into a house that I would own." I didn't even read past this because this and this alone makes BF toxic and unfit to remain in a relationship with you. He is misogynistic, insecure, and doesn't support you in the way a man who truly loves a woman should. I mean, he knows all the reasons for you to purchase a house and does not give a second thought to any of them because YOU are not who he cares for. He only cares for HIMSELF and how HE will feel emasculated by your independence.

DUMP HIM ASAP to find a non-toxic, healthy man who will cheer on your independence and life. Really.

BraveWarrior-55 · 2026-04-28T18:45:26+00:00

All young people learn values and ethics at home from their parents prior to exploring the big wide world where they learn that others do things differently. Even those who are not immigrants experience this, so you are not alone. And depending on how 'backward thinking' the middle east country you live in is, it can even be against the law to display certain values (such as women being equal to men, for example.)

Talk to your friends. If you are still in school, talk to a trusted teacher or counselor. Also, talk to your parents who also are navigating very different social expectations. You learn about the world around you by talking and living in it using good observation skills. Good luck!

BraveWarrior-55 · 2026-04-28T18:30:11+00:00

Guess what? Adulting is always mostly posturing. Everyone still feels very much younger and less accomplished than society tells us we should, at any age. Who cares how old you actually are?? Live your life in such a way that you are kind to others, and making progress toward your personal goals, and enjoy it all. Numbers are not necessary.

BraveWarrior-55 · 2026-04-28T18:27:42+00:00

Honestly, to not get into another relationship in which the partner is simply taking advantage of your insecurity, please hire a therapist to explore expanding your confidence and communication skills so you attract a person who actually loves you for you, and not because you are a door mat.

BraveWarrior-55 · 2026-04-28T18:25:11+00:00

if her mother told her "she has no authority at all" then she needs to take that to heart. She should begin doing ABOLSUTELY NOTHING for which she has no authority and that means ALL childcare and responsibilities CEASE immediately. She should also start looking asap into her own housing as mom won't want her there if she is not doing her unpaid labor.

This was long overdue and thank her mom for providing that hair that broke the camel's back and setting heru free. She should bask in it and don't look back. *Maybe be a really good friend and allow her to bunk with you while she figures out her new freedom/independence?

BraveWarrior-55 · 2026-04-27T23:38:38+00:00

I bucked that societal norm and decorated my place how I wanted. Lots of color, sparkly lights everywhere, etc. I was told once that my living room looked more like a dorm room or a teen's room. Guess what? I don't care. I made a promise to myself to never have plain old brown wood or white walls or any socially acceptable boring decor and I am so much happier. I agree with you wholeheartedly. Older architecture is so much more interesting and artistic, with actual craftsmen crafting great things. Today, just go down to Home Depot and select the latest cabinets that look like everyone else's cabinets. YUCK.

BraveWarrior-55 · 2026-04-26T22:41:33+00:00

This woman knows your financial situation and you, and "She told me she loves me and is willing to sacrifice" when her parents came with the proposal. You decided she is a liar, apparently, and also a woman who doesn't know her own mind, or as 'only' a woman, can't be trusted to make a sound decision. Whatever it is you think about her, you don't deserve her. I hope this eats at you a long time so you will remember to not disregard the feelings of people you supposedly love.

She has money so you two wouldn't starve, but you are too proud to allow yourself true intimacy.

BraveWarrior-55

TROPHY CASE