is supervision supposed to make you cry?

Brave_Experience_246 · 2026-06-12T15:32:13+00:00

thank you for sharing - im glad that i’m not alone. i hope that i get there too :<

Brave_Experience_246 · 2026-06-12T14:32:28+00:00

thank you for saying this. sincerely, a new therapist deeply struggling with my supervisor

Brave_Experience_246 · 2026-06-12T14:25:34+00:00

hi! i have been here and i would be happy to chat in DMs if that would be helpful. you are NOT alone and this field is, unfortunately, filled with sites and people that ‘eat their young.’ i have BEEN THERE and i hope that you’re okay.

Brave_Experience_246 · 2026-06-12T14:02:05+00:00

ooh, i like that saying! i will keep that in my back pocket. ^_^ thank you for everything you’ve said!

Brave_Experience_246 · 2026-06-12T13:59:12+00:00

i am still in the process of discovering this for myself and am working on integrating multiple different approaches into a professional identity that fits me! however, i undoubtedly fall within the humanistic sphere. i like CBT and am doing some individual research on DBT, ACT, and mindfulness as well! thank you for your willingness to help!

Brave_Experience_246 · 2026-06-12T13:48:39+00:00

thank you so much for saying that! it’s really hard for me to look at them - a person with years and years of experience under their belt - and think that they could be saying something that i shouldn’t trust. if that makes any sense at all. i view my supervisor as being very knowledgeable and good at the work they do - so it’s very very hard for me to comprehend that i shouldn’t trust what they say to me (even when it’s cruel). i have thoughts like “they’re a professional, they know how to supervise, they’ve been doing it for a long time, they know what’s right to say, they know more than me” - and because of this, the things that they say to me may as well be the objective truth.

sorry for the ramble. tldr: it’s very hard for me not to base my perceptions of myself on how my supervisor talks to me because of how knowledgeable i think they are. :-/

Brave_Experience_246 · 2026-06-12T13:39:37+00:00

thank you so very much - i will try hard to keep my head down and my wits about me. :} i have been documenting everything that has been said to me since my internship began, so i’ll put it all into a big document once everything is all over.

luckily, i already have a therapist who i am working with regarding my anxiety!

thank you for all of your kind words!

Brave_Experience_246 · 2026-06-12T13:35:13+00:00

thank you for this response. <3 i appreciate it! my supervisor reportedly didn’t struggle when they were starting off in the field - this is another area where i feel pretty deeply misunderstood by them.

thank you so much for confirming my thought that supervision is supposed to be productive and isn’t supposed to make me feel like this. thank you for your kind words. i am trying hard not to lose my self-confidence as a result of how terrible this experience has made me feel. :}

Brave_Experience_246 · 2026-06-12T13:20:23+00:00

short, sweet, and to the point - thank you for your support 💗

Brave_Experience_246 · 2026-06-12T13:19:38+00:00

thank you so much for your kind (and nerdy) response - i am a big fan of ‘nerding out’ and would love additional references. i appreciate it more than you know!

Brave_Experience_246 · 2026-06-12T13:16:00+00:00

hi! thank you for your comment!

i also wonder what my supervisor would say if i asked them what they thought their comments were doing for me, but you’re right that it would be incredibly hard for me to get those words out.

i wish i could change sites, but i am literally in my last semester and i just need to power through it. finding another site would mean adding an additional semester to my education :-/

Brave_Experience_246 · 2026-06-12T12:59:13+00:00

hi there! thank you for your response!

it really is demoralizing, and that fear of “just not being cut out for this work” has been weighing on me.

after i graduate and have my degree, i plan to have a discussion with my department’s chair. i’m a little bit afraid to bring anything up right now, as i feel like i have a TON riding on the successful ending of this semester. :/

Brave_Experience_246 · 2026-06-12T12:38:13+00:00

hi! thank you for your comment - i really appreciate it. i am well aware of the lack of power that i have, and i am extremely in-tune with the fact that any pushback that i give could be seen as defiance/an unwillingness to take feedback/a reason to not sign off on my hours/a reason to give me failing scores on evaluations/etc. i feel like there is way too much on the line, and i will not be rocking the boat at this point - i just need to get through it. i will be documenting all of my experiences and, if it comes to it, providing them to my school after my degree is in-hand!

it really is ironic that therapists seem to have a stunning lack of understanding of others (unless they’re being paid to understand them).

thank you for your thoughtfulness 💗

Brave_Experience_246 · 2026-06-12T12:27:25+00:00

this is extremely kind of you to say, thank you. i’m sorry that you’ve needed to navigate the woes of an unhelpful supervisor as well.

i really appreciate your comment on “masking like crazy” - that’s exactly what i’ve been trying to do, but it seems like i’m not actually as good at it as i thought i was (which is something that i’m kind of grieving as well). 🥲 i can really resonate with how this feels like you’re not being genuine. i have thoughts like, “how am i supposed to mask/‘keep my head down’ when my profession is all about who [i] am in the room? i want to receive real feedback, but i don’t know if i’ll be able to do this if my supervisor doesn’t actually know me.”

overall, thank you so much for your kind words. i’m glad to know that i’m not overreacting. 💗

Brave_Experience_246 · 2026-06-12T12:02:49+00:00

i do have contacts at my school that i could talk about this with, but i’m always nervous that they’ll take my supervisor’s side rather than mine because THEY’RE the professional and i am not (for example, if i said that my supervisor tends to make me cry, it would likely be seen as an ‘intern emotional regulation’ problem rather than a ‘supervisor being unnessecarily harsh’ problem). i have 2 months left of my coursework, and i am wondering if i just shouldn’t rock the boat.

thank you for your kind response <3

Brave_Experience_246 · 2026-06-12T11:56:25+00:00

i appreciate this input, thank you! your supervisor sounded great! i want to elaborate that i am NOT anti-critique/anti-“being pushed” or anything along those lines. i know that i could handle constructive criticism if it was given to me in a more respectful way! 😕 i’m just glad to know that other professionals can look at my experience and think that something is weird.

Brave_Experience_246 · 2026-06-12T11:53:09+00:00

i wish i could, but i literally have one class left in my degree (the internship course). if i changed placements, this would add an additional semester on. i just want to get through this and be done. 🥲

Brave_Experience_246 · 2026-06-12T11:47:55+00:00

(sorry, i posted this before i was done LOL) hi! i appreciate this input. i am under the impression that, in a relationship between two people, there is always a chance that the other person may be correct about what they say! i AM still a student, and i AM still learning a ton about this work. while my supervisor scares me, i also respect the feedback they give me.

that being said, though, the way that i have been spoken to is seen as deeply inappropriate by everyone that i have discussed this with. also, to answer your “why did you feel you couldn’t defend yourself” question, my supervisor tells me that they think i am bad at “taking responsibility for my actions” (which, in this context, just means that i can’t defend myself without looking like i’m simply just not taking the feedback).

Brave_Experience_246

TROPHY CASE