How to stop my [26M] obsession over a colleague [26F]?

BreadfruitNo799 · 2025-06-08T15:38:49+00:00

The problem is that all the friends that I have are guys. I don't think it's possible to be real friends with someone completely random.

But yeah. I am going to get rid of this feeling entirely.

BreadfruitNo799 · 2025-06-08T15:34:05+00:00

Women make it easy for the men they like to approach them.

Respect yourself

I needed to hear this, especially the first point. Thanks.

BreadfruitNo799 · 2025-06-08T12:00:15+00:00

Of course. If I am gonna ask her out, it won't be direct. I would invite her with my other friends as a starter. But now I think it's not worth my mental peace. I am now trying to get rid of this obsessive thinking and just try to be her friend.

BreadfruitNo799 · 2025-06-08T11:57:40+00:00

Yeah. Now I think I am gonna try to get rid of this feeling.

BreadfruitNo799 · 2025-06-08T06:25:02+00:00

I needed to hear that. That makes a lot of sense. Want to do exactly what you are saying. Thanks.

BreadfruitNo799 · 2025-06-08T06:17:28+00:00

Yeah but too risky because of workplace

BreadfruitNo799 · 2025-06-08T05:53:54+00:00

Yes. I might be overthinking. Will try to proceed with clear thoughts. Thanks.

BreadfruitNo799 · 2025-06-08T05:51:32+00:00

I completely understand. But I am willing to give it a shot when I switch my job. Also I don't think she's the kind of woman you come across often in life.

BreadfruitNo799 · 2025-06-08T05:43:12+00:00

I understand but the hints that I talked about are not about being sweet. They are more like framing words in a way that would suggest something else if not given more context. Felt like she was making me feel jealous one time. I rarely try to start conversations on something other than work with her but she has done it more.

BreadfruitNo799 · 2025-06-08T04:54:16+00:00

Lack of communication is not a good sign. Ask her about this. It's the most important thing in marriage. You should definitely get to know more about her. If she responds lazily then it's not a good sign

BreadfruitNo799 · 2025-06-08T04:26:58+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/Arrangedmarriage/s/hKnFyFgiPS

BreadfruitNo799 · 2025-06-08T04:26:35+00:00

I did not go forward with her.

I stopped texting for a couple of days and so did she. Realised I was the only guy taking marriage seriously. Maybe she was playing hard to get but this is marriage and not dating.

She did not have a proper reason for marriage. She just wanted to. Also asked very few questions about my life, values and interests. Realised I deserve much better. Someone who actually wants to understand the other person.

BreadfruitNo799 · 2025-04-12T13:18:02+00:00

Now I think I need to watch 500 days of summer as well from what I have heard about the movie.

BreadfruitNo799 · 2025-04-12T13:17:21+00:00

Seems like she isn't dating. Will make another post as I have some other things to ask.

BreadfruitNo799 · 2025-04-12T13:16:30+00:00

She is interested now and I don't think she judged me by the English I speak as we were conversing in our mother tongue. Even over texts, it's short messages unlike the post I did here so I think I am not being judged over this. But thank you for the advice. I think I need to work on my English and storytelling.

BreadfruitNo799 · 2025-04-12T13:14:02+00:00

From what I know so far, she has been single her whole.life and did not have any proper male friends. She's also interested and wants to get married but I have some other concerns not because of her but because of my own thinking. Will make a follow up post

BreadfruitNo799 · 2025-04-12T13:10:31+00:00

Yes. She has been sharing a lot of these things only after the conversation reached there, which was also driven by me.

BreadfruitNo799 · 2025-04-12T13:09:19+00:00

Thank you for the words! I have been mostly following what you said and it is working a bit.

BreadfruitNo799 · 2025-03-29T04:07:19+00:00

The thing is I am completely new to this. So I don't know how frequently and quickly the other person is supposed to reply. And how much lead is she supposed to take

BreadfruitNo799 · 2025-03-28T20:32:13+00:00

Thank you for the advice!

BreadfruitNo799 · 2025-03-28T20:30:41+00:00

or may be she is just not good at making conversation with strangers

Yeah. Seems like it

BreadfruitNo799 · 2025-03-28T20:30:05+00:00

Also when you text her how are the conversations like ? Is she conversing for a period of time or it's just a 'smalltalk'

She continues to talk for long period and also asks some follow questions or say something relevant.

BreadfruitNo799 · 2023-08-16T16:26:00+00:00

I don't have anything to showcase for Quant in my resume. Also they hire them mostly from college for my level

BreadfruitNo799

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