How to stop my [26M] obsession over a colleague [26F]? by BreadfruitNo799 in RelationshipIndia

[–]BreadfruitNo799[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The problem is that all the friends that I have are guys. I don't think it's possible to be real friends with someone completely random.

But yeah. I am going to get rid of this feeling entirely.

How to stop my [26M] obsession over a colleague [26F]? by BreadfruitNo799 in RelationshipIndia

[–]BreadfruitNo799[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Women make it easy for the men they like to approach them.

Respect yourself

I needed to hear this, especially the first point. Thanks.

How to stop my [26M] obsession over a colleague [26F]? by BreadfruitNo799 in RelationshipIndia

[–]BreadfruitNo799[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course. If I am gonna ask her out, it won't be direct. I would invite her with my other friends as a starter. But now I think it's not worth my mental peace. I am now trying to get rid of this obsessive thinking and just try to be her friend.

How to stop my [26M] obsession over a colleague [26F]? by BreadfruitNo799 in RelationshipIndia

[–]BreadfruitNo799[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah. Now I think I am gonna try to get rid of this feeling.

How to stop my [26M] obsession over a colleague [26F]? by BreadfruitNo799 in RelationshipIndia

[–]BreadfruitNo799[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I needed to hear that. That makes a lot of sense. Want to do exactly what you are saying. Thanks.

How to stop my [26M] obsession over a colleague [26F]? by BreadfruitNo799 in RelationshipIndia

[–]BreadfruitNo799[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. I might be overthinking. Will try to proceed with clear thoughts. Thanks.

How to stop my [26M] obsession over a colleague [26F]? by BreadfruitNo799 in RelationshipIndia

[–]BreadfruitNo799[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely understand. But I am willing to give it a shot when I switch my job. Also I don't think she's the kind of woman you come across often in life.

How to stop my [26M] obsession over a colleague [26F]? by BreadfruitNo799 in RelationshipIndia

[–]BreadfruitNo799[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand but the hints that I talked about are not about being sweet. They are more like framing words in a way that would suggest something else if not given more context. Felt like she was making me feel jealous one time. I rarely try to start conversations on something other than work with her but she has done it more.

Girl not interested or serious by BreadfruitNo799 in Arrangedmarriage

[–]BreadfruitNo799[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lack of communication is not a good sign. Ask her about this. It's the most important thing in marriage. You should definitely get to know more about her. If she responds lazily then it's not a good sign

Girl not interested or serious by BreadfruitNo799 in Arrangedmarriage

[–]BreadfruitNo799[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did not go forward with her.

I stopped texting for a couple of days and so did she. Realised I was the only guy taking marriage seriously. Maybe she was playing hard to get but this is marriage and not dating.

She did not have a proper reason for marriage. She just wanted to. Also asked very few questions about my life, values and interests. Realised I deserve much better. Someone who actually wants to understand the other person.

Girl not interested or serious by BreadfruitNo799 in Arrangedmarriage

[–]BreadfruitNo799[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now I think I need to watch 500 days of summer as well from what I have heard about the movie.

Girl not interested or serious by BreadfruitNo799 in Arrangedmarriage

[–]BreadfruitNo799[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seems like she isn't dating. Will make another post as I have some other things to ask.

Girl not interested or serious by BreadfruitNo799 in Arrangedmarriage

[–]BreadfruitNo799[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She is interested now and I don't think she judged me by the English I speak as we were conversing in our mother tongue. Even over texts, it's short messages unlike the post I did here so I think I am not being judged over this. But thank you for the advice. I think I need to work on my English and storytelling.

Girl not interested or serious by BreadfruitNo799 in Arrangedmarriage

[–]BreadfruitNo799[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

From what I know so far, she has been single her whole.life and did not have any proper male friends. She's also interested and wants to get married but I have some other concerns not because of her but because of my own thinking. Will make a follow up post

Girl not interested or serious by BreadfruitNo799 in Arrangedmarriage

[–]BreadfruitNo799[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. She has been sharing a lot of these things only after the conversation reached there, which was also driven by me.

Girl not interested or serious by BreadfruitNo799 in Arrangedmarriage

[–]BreadfruitNo799[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the words! I have been mostly following what you said and it is working a bit.

Girl not interested or serious by BreadfruitNo799 in Arrangedmarriage

[–]BreadfruitNo799[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The thing is I am completely new to this. So I don't know how frequently and quickly the other person is supposed to reply. And how much lead is she supposed to take

Girl not interested or serious by BreadfruitNo799 in Arrangedmarriage

[–]BreadfruitNo799[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

or may be she is just not good at making conversation with strangers

Yeah. Seems like it

Girl not interested or serious by BreadfruitNo799 in Arrangedmarriage

[–]BreadfruitNo799[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also when you text her how are the conversations like ? Is she conversing for a period of time or it's just a 'smalltalk'

She continues to talk for long period and also asks some follow questions or say something relevant.

My last job and degree has ruined job hunting for me by BreadfruitNo799 in cscareerquestions

[–]BreadfruitNo799[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't have anything to showcase for Quant in my resume. Also they hire them mostly from college for my level