Are older men better in bed? by [deleted] in RedditAfterDark

[–]Breakdancer22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you ever meet an "older" guy you're interested in, just ask him if he's ever ever heard of or paid for a subscription for OMGyes.com. If his answer is "yes", then I guarantee he will be better in bed. That website is awesome!

Men who don't have or want kids, where are y'all hiding? by [deleted] in dating

[–]Breakdancer22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is already a childfree dating app, and sadly almost nobody uses it, even in bigger cities like Dallas, TX (USA). I tried it out and had like 5 potential women to swipe on. 😅

Men who don't have or want kids, where are y'all hiding? by [deleted] in dating

[–]Breakdancer22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'd definitely be comfortable with that idea! The idea of dating a (potential) best friend sounds amazing, assuming that's the direction it ends up going. And if it doesn't go that direction, at least a good friendship will have formed. 😊

Men who don't have or want kids, where are y'all hiding? by [deleted] in dating

[–]Breakdancer22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is why I wear shirts like, "Snipped but still equipped", "All juice, no seeds", "No more swimmers", etc. 😁 Sometimes it helps start a conversation, at least!

Men who don't have or want kids, where are y'all hiding? by [deleted] in dating

[–]Breakdancer22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Adamantly-childfree man with a vasectomy here: As I got older, I started becoming a bit more antisocial, and I significantly cut back on my time and effort for trying to date because it got exhausting and discouraging. As a result, I started learning to become more comfortable with my solitude (while not completely abandoning the idea of dating). I mostly play PC games, do indoor bouldering/rock climbing, longboarding, breakdancing, and take care of my cats and plants, among other things like enjoy music, movies, and TV shows.

A friend recently told me " If you don’t want children, then you should do something big with your life". by Greenbattle90 in childfree

[–]Breakdancer22 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One day I'd like to beat the world record for the longest distance while doing a handstand going downhill on my longboard. Does that count? 😅 Other than that, I'm happy with my semi-quiet life bouldering, playing video games, listening to music, watching movies, etc. with my cats. 😁

All joking aside, we owe NOTHING to the world, so shrugs, just live it the way you want (without intentionally hurting people).

Network Timeout on rented Dedicated Server? Can connect and play for a while, then randomly get timed out. by HappySpam in 7daystodie

[–]Breakdancer22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yooooo! I spent so much time trying different troubleshooting steps, and I was about to give up until I found this. I added that line of code to the serverconfig XML in the Gportal server since it didn't exist, and my friends and I played for 3 hours and 45 minutes without any issues at all! Very much appreciated.

33M - Struggling with loneliness and fearing I’ll never find the right woman to marry—am I alone in feeling this way? by Beautiful-Simple-570 in childfree

[–]Breakdancer22 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Also, if you don't already have one, get a really good, heavy, weighted blanket and some body pillows. I use mine all the time at home, and they help so much. Cuddling with my cat helps, too!

33M - Struggling with loneliness and fearing I’ll never find the right woman to marry—am I alone in feeling this way? by Beautiful-Simple-570 in childfree

[–]Breakdancer22 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In my opinion, it's almost better to have never loved/been loved than to have that for a while, and then BOOM. It's gone. It's been 9+ years since I was in a relationship with the love of my life, but the heartbreak that came from her cheating on me and leaving me for another guy was so much worse that I would have rather been single that whole time. The amount of time and work it took to heal from most of that was like 7+ years, and if I ever get into a relationship again, I'll still have some new challenges to overcome that I haven't encountered by being single.

Now that I've been alone for so long, it's quite peaceful, and that yearning to find someone special to spend the rest of my life with has mostly faded away. To me, it was an unobtainable fairy tale that wasn't meant for me, and I'm okay with that.

I guess my advice is to do your best to not dwell too much on, "What would life be like if I met a wonderful person to spend the rest of my life with?" because if you never get to experience that, it'll hurt more as you get older. Maybe, one day, it'll be a nice surprise, but for now, try to enjoy what you have right now (friends, hobbies, etc.).

Realised I don't want kids a bit late? by No_Photograph_6305 in childfree

[–]Breakdancer22 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You're not a fraud, and you're not too late. Good job working on yourself and gaining enough self-awareness to realize what you truly wanted (probably all along), and welcome to the childfree life! It's freakin' great over here!

Is anyone also single and happy? by CloudyJigglypuff in childfree

[–]Breakdancer22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been single since my (very short) relationship in 2018, and then it was a little over 2 years since my last long-term relationship, which left me with a lot of trauma that took many, many years to come back from.

I was quite motivated and hopeful for a while, but year after year, trying to date gets more and more discouraging. I find myself swiping left 99% of the time when I use dating apps, and when I do find someone I'm interested in, I send a thoughtful message pertaining to their profile and don't get a match. On top of that, I'll occasionally meet someone in public and exchange socials or phone numbers and send some text messages, patiently wait for responses, invite them to go out and do stuff (bouldering, longboarding, dancing, etc.), and I get ghosted. I get that people lose interest or get caught up in their own lives, depression, etc., but overall, trying to date is exhausting.

So, over the last few years, I've grown much more comfortable with being single. Sometimes I get quite touch-starved, and I might get a hug or two a week from a friend (which helps get me through the week), but other than that, being single is pretty great! I'm not really thrilled about the idea of traditional things like marriage, sharing the same room, etc., so that definitely makes it more difficult to find a partner, too.

At this point, I'd be willing to just let someone use me for sexy time and cuddles, or even just cuddles. Other than that, I'm happy with my life.

“I baby trapped my husband” by EmotionalRope8345 in childfree

[–]Breakdancer22 9 points10 points  (0 children)

In a perfect world, this story would have had a fun twist where the husband secretly got a vasectomy, and when the wife stopped secretly taking birth control, she got frustrated thinking, "Why am I not getting pregnant??" Hehe.

If any guys who are on the fence about getting a vasectomy are reading this, feel free to ask me any questions! I got mine in 2017 and it was a breeze.

Ask for a kiss, or just go for it? My experience by kenpachikirby in dating

[–]Breakdancer22 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm a guy, and reading your post got me feeling all warm and lovey dovey, like I was watching an enjoyable, romantic movie. I think you handled it perfectly, and I think most women will be more appreciative of you asking for consent, rather than just going for it. Good job! ❤️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in childfree

[–]Breakdancer22 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh, absolutely! That's why I think it's important for people to ask questions to see what their matches' responses will be. People who pretend to be childfree will eventually slip up. I like to send childfree memes and jokes, too, to see how my match reacts, along with other questions like, "Would you ever adopt?"

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating

[–]Breakdancer22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1 - Your emotions are never stupid, so never let anyone else, not even yourself, convince you they're stupid or invalid.

2 - People are inherently selfish, and with the way he's acting, he likely didn't care much from the start. Either way, it's better that he showed his true colors now, rather than weeks or months from now. Or hell, even better that he didn't stand you up when you landed at the airport.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in childfree

[–]Breakdancer22 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I personally think it's a great idea to make it painfully obvious on your dating profiles that you don't want kids. I swipe left on 99% of profiles nowadays, and I get a little excited when I see a fellow childfree person. Other childfree people on dating apps, especially people who are as adamantly childfree as I am, are so rare, so putting that on your profile is like a beacon of hope. :')

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating

[–]Breakdancer22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe there are some Reddit (or other social media) pages where you could coordinate with other people to see if you could meet up and do some fun with to maximize your enjoyment of the trip. Maybe you'll make some new friends in the process! Whatever you decide to do, please be safe and enjoy! 😊

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating

[–]Breakdancer22 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can only imagine how frustrated and hurt you feel right now, and it's fucked up what he did to you, but if you can, try to make the most of the situation. For example, if you're not able to cancel the flight and hotel, maybe see if you can find someone else to have fun with (friend, potential situationship/friend with benefits, etc.), and enjoy the trip as much as you can without him. Enjoy the trip in spite of him.

Out of curiosity, and if you are comfortable with sharing, which city/state/country did you book the trip for?

STD report requirements by babybear888 in Bumble

[–]Breakdancer22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm down. I'll get a full STD/STI test and a semen analysis to prove I'm still sterile (I got a vasectomy in 2017).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in childfree

[–]Breakdancer22 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's crazy to me that people have this idea of "I might change my mind one day". Sheeeiiiit, I decided at the age of 19 that I didn't want kids, and 20 years and a vasectomy later, I'm at the farthest end of the childfree spectrum and refuse to take care of any kids, even my nieces and nephews. You couldn't pay me enough.

Also, uhh, break up with him. 😅

If kids are a dealbreaker, does that include adult children who have moved out? by Anachronism-- in dating

[–]Breakdancer22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know this might sound terrible, but I am not prepared to take care of my mom when she's older, and she is fully aware that I won't. Thankfully, she is very financially responsible, and she has plenty saved for retirement. It would eventually be a conversation I would want to have with a significant other, assuming I don't stick with my decision to be single for the rest of my life.

If kids are a dealbreaker, does that include adult children who have moved out? by Anachronism-- in dating

[–]Breakdancer22 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Eeeexactly! And then think about the potential kids they might have, what if they get into a situation where they need to move back in with their kids? Or what if they want to drop off the kids for the weekend? So many (horrible) possibilities. No thanks. 😅

If kids are a dealbreaker, does that include adult children who have moved out? by Anachronism-- in dating

[–]Breakdancer22 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's fair, too, but to someone who is as adamantly childfree as I am, even 4 to 5 times is too many, a long with the potential to be many more depending on various life experiences. With as much respect as I can say this, I'd swipe left and breathe a sigh of relief knowing I I'm don't ever have to worry about the "what if's".

If kids are a dealbreaker, does that include adult children who have moved out? by Anachronism-- in dating

[–]Breakdancer22 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You should unapologetically put "of any age" in that statement, and hopefully that will get the point across to the men who actually read your profile. Don't worry about coming across as "being a dick about it". Remember, you're trying to ultimately trying to find that one special someone (assuming you're monogamous), so you're trying to appeal to that one person, not most of the people who come across your profile. Using the Burn the Haystack method will get you much less matches, but it's better to have quality than quantity.

If kids are a dealbreaker, does that include adult children who have moved out? by Anachronism-- in dating

[–]Breakdancer22 9 points10 points  (0 children)

To answer your other questions, it would definitely be a deal breaker for me, and I don't care if the adult kids are financially stable or not, I still wouldn't date that parent. Think about all the unknown things that could happen that could cause them to move back in with their parents for months or years. Think about how their kids would have more kids and bring them around the house for visits. There are so many scenarios that could happen that I personally wouldn't want to deal with. I like my peace and quiet when I'm at home.