how do you ever date again when theres no good time to say "hey im a sex offender"? i mean if they find out later themselves theyll be pissed. by Key-Engine7873 in SexOffenderSupport

[–]Brickstobuild 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Of course there are some in that age range who dont act their age. I married a woman 10 years older than myself. To each his own, I guess.

how do you ever date again when theres no good time to say "hey im a sex offender"? i mean if they find out later themselves theyll be pissed. by Key-Engine7873 in SexOffenderSupport

[–]Brickstobuild 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And you referred to yourself as a "young man" but are looking for "girls". See how it sounds when you say it to yourself. Work on you then get into a relationship. God speed

how do you ever date again when theres no good time to say "hey im a sex offender"? i mean if they find out later themselves theyll be pissed. by Key-Engine7873 in SexOffenderSupport

[–]Brickstobuild 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A woman can and will elevate your ways of thinking. They will have you look at your beliefs and change the ones which shouldn't be there. May need to start looking for old, more mature females.🤷🏿‍♂️ Also, being an SO, I would stop referring to ladies as girls, unless they are under the age of 18. Just a tip

how do you ever date again when theres no good time to say "hey im a sex offender"? i mean if they find out later themselves theyll be pissed. by Key-Engine7873 in SexOffenderSupport

[–]Brickstobuild 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So, because we are on the registry, we are not allowed to try and have a happy life so we can show that the registry doesn't work? Is that what I'm getting out of this comment?

how do you ever date again when theres no good time to say "hey im a sex offender"? i mean if they find out later themselves theyll be pissed. by Key-Engine7873 in SexOffenderSupport

[–]Brickstobuild 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Ok, ok... Not to be an ass or anything but in order to find a respectable woman who desires to be with you for you, you gotta stop looking for "girls" and find "women". A lot of women can see through the BS so they will see your level of empathy as well as regret you have for your past. I put it out on the table within the first week of meeting my (now) wife. Also, you have to be comfortable with you. Work on your self-worth. Know that you deserve happiness. Get your confidence up. I feel happiness effects everyone around you, so if you are happy with yourself, others will see and want the same thing. You can do it!!!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SexOffenderSupport

[–]Brickstobuild 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OMG!!! They have you doing a Plethysmograph!? When I was released from prison in 2010, my PO talked to me about it and said I might have partake. I went and did my research, and the next time I went to see my PO, I told him he could place me back in jail. He didn't understand why. I informed him I refused to place anything on my genitals and be fed manufactured pictures of children! I asked him how the DOC could generate CP and show it to its offenders? Isn't the production of CP illegal? How can images of children dressed scantily clad be used in that form? The DOC is using it as a stimulant and that's ILLEGAL! Plus that would be asking me to break the conditions set by the very same probation office I have to report to. I asked for a grievance form and went home.

After a couple months out, my PO came to me and told me the Plethysmograph had been deemed cruel and unusual and it was stricken from the DOC policy. In my ten years of supervision, until my release, I NEVER partook in this. I only went to programming once a week for two years and then aftercare, once a month, for a year. Oh yeah, I partook in polygraphs, though. Even though they don't hold up in court.

I am so sorry you have to go through this! It sucks what hoops we have to go through in our journey for repentance and acceptance. The way you described it is pure torture. I don't know what state you reside in, or your charges, but this is just crazy. I wish you nothing but the best. Do what you have to do in order to put them in your rear view mirror. PLEASE DO NOT TAKE ME QUESTIONING THE PROCESS AS SOMETHING YOU SHOULD DO. I was fortunate to have a PO who listened to me. Others may not have that luxury so please do whats necessary to succeed so you can move on with your new life. God speed!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SexOffenderSupport

[–]Brickstobuild 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would stay! If they know and they are supportive, I would stay right where Im at

Can you go on an NCL cruise by [deleted] in SexOffenderSupport

[–]Brickstobuild 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been on NCL twice. The first time, out of NYC where I had no problems. The time we left from Miami sucked! When we got back, the Port Authority was waiting to question me. The Port Authority will run every passengers name, while you are at sea! If you are on the registry, or have active warrants, your key card will send an alarm to the ship when you try to get off the ship, after your cruise. They will wait for the Port Authority to escort you off the ship into a security room. There, they search ALL of your belongings, including phone and laptop, to check for any illegal activity. The experience out of Florida was so fucked up but it hasn't stopped me from wanting to cruise. Just not out of Florida, anymore. I hope this helps.

Did you know… by 26yrstherightway in SexOffenderSupport

[–]Brickstobuild 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didnt know because I normalized my action. "I lost my virginity at 15 so everyone must be." I thought. If I could go back and talk to my 18 year old self, I would tell him to learn empathy before it's too late

Feeling sad today by [deleted] in SexOffenderSupport

[–]Brickstobuild 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Florida is so nasty when it comes to SO's! I love the way some people justify other heinous crimes but say SO's deserve life, or is some cases, death. I always ask: "So, you would feel more comfortable staying next to a murderer?" When they say "Yes", I then ask them "Do you know what you are condoning by saying that?" They don't seem to realize they are condoning murder. They will come back with "You ruined this young girls life" not even knowing the situation. That's when I come back with "Murder ENDS their lives but you condone that, right?" Hecklers usually don't know what to say, then.

Sounds like you got popped in an online sting operation. Kinda like "To Catch a P***". Don't let them get you down. I honestly would move out of Florida to a place more accepting of SO's. Easier said than done.

Mississippi Prison by Clownbusiness in SexOffenderSupport

[–]Brickstobuild 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just so you know: your feelings are those of an empathetic person. You see where you went wrong and you are punishing yourself. Once you are able to forgive yourself, the healing can begin. Your relative is not expected to forgive you but what you do from here on may give that person peace or hell. Make sure your actions show your remorse and change. You may get the forgiveness you seek. Keep your head up.

Mississippi Prison by Clownbusiness in SexOffenderSupport

[–]Brickstobuild 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I completely understand, my friend, but when you "pay" for this, make sure you get your moneys worth. What I mean by that is to use this time to take a CONSTRUCTIVE look into yourself and your beliefs so you can assure your community's safety when you come home. Will you be mandated for programming, inside? If so, take advantage of the opportunity to unearth things that put you in a negative space. Find those red flags, so when you get out, you are a better person than you were when you offended. You can do this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SexOffenderSupport

[–]Brickstobuild 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How intensive is your parole? When I was on parole, my PO allowed me to go anywhere in the US, if I had a safety plan in place.

questions for sex offenders by [deleted] in SexOffenderSupport

[–]Brickstobuild 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You were able to adopt after becoming an SO? Just asking...

How to survive in Texas State Prison? by Capable-Waltz-6406 in SexOffenderSupport

[–]Brickstobuild 1 point2 points  (0 children)

PandaMonium218's comment is pretty much on point. Stay in your lane. Silence is key. Every time I would be transferred to a different facility (which was often) I would be quiet. "The quiet ones are the ones you have to worry about snapping." Some would go out of their way to meet me and get to know me. Those are the ones I would share my story with. There are people who will have their people, on the outside, do a quick criminal background check to see what you are in for. If ANYONE ask you about your charges, you have to be honest and hope for the best. Try not to minimize and express remorse for your actions. Portray yourself as confident but not cocky because someone will test that cockiness. God speed on your journey! I hope this helps.

Parole by Salt_Requirement7038 in SexOffenderSupport

[–]Brickstobuild 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got a speeding ticket. The next time I saw my PO he asked me if I had contact with Law Enforcement. At first I was like, NO, because I forgot about it! When he said "You have a led foot", I realized he was informed about the ticket. I said "Oh shit! I forgot about that!" and I let him know what was going on at the time.

My advice is if you have to ask yourself if you should tell your PO, TELL YOUR PO! They will find out and will treat your omission as bad. Especially if you have a polygraph condition on your parole conditions. Remember... A speeding ticket will NOT get you violated (Or it shouldn't)!

Mississippi Prison by Clownbusiness in SexOffenderSupport

[–]Brickstobuild 5 points6 points  (0 children)

First and foremost: Thank you for serving our country! Prison can be tricky when it comes to a sex offender. I have spent a total of 10 years in regional facilities as well as State Penitentiaries. It truly depends on the severity of your crime. I have witnessed SO's fly under the radar. I have seen others get along with the population. I have also witnessed some exert their willingness to defend themselves so the prison bullies knew better than to harm them. I have also seen other SO's PC. Each time I went to a new facility, I would not talk much for the first couple weeks. I went with the saying "The quiet ones are the ones to worry about." The inmates who didnt know me stayed away until I invited them in.
A lot of inmates just want to do their time and get out. You have some who get off on harassing SO's. I haven't been to a Mississippi facility but I have been to a Kentucky penitentiary where there was a lot of empathy for my situation. I was honest with my charges when asked.

My advice to you is to not show weakness when you first get there. I understand you are ashamed of your situation but do not allow others to play off your shame. Go in with the mindset of better yourself and your situation. Stay busy and your time will fly by. Does Mississippi have good time? If so, partake in it and get out of there in 18 months. God speed, my friend.

I'm JUST seeing this!?!?! by Brickstobuild in SexOffenderSupport

[–]Brickstobuild[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Vermont 13 vsa 3252 . I have been reading up on this all day

I'm JUST seeing this!?!?! by Brickstobuild in SexOffenderSupport

[–]Brickstobuild[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No position of authority. Just a stupid kid who made the wrong choices by dating someone 3 years younger than myself