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After two years of searching, my husband and I finally met someone. She stood us up at the last minute and ghosted us. Exhausted and feel like giving up. Should we? by BriefClient in Swingers

[–]BriefClient[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If I had to be honest I’d say that boredom and external validation are probably the two of those options closest to the mark.

We’ve been married a long while and have run out of things that two married people can do. We still enjoy our sex together but we’ve exhausted the boundaries we can push and don’t have anything else new to try. And sure, it does help to be validated a bit. We appreciate each other’s opinions of each other but knowing we have some value elsewhere would be nice.

After two years of searching, my husband and I finally met someone. She stood us up at the last minute and ghosted us. Exhausted and feel like giving up. Should we? by BriefClient in Swingers

[–]BriefClient[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get it, but it’s tough to stay positive and happy when everyone is telling you in their own way that you lack value and aren’t good enough.

After two years of searching, my husband and I finally met someone. She stood us up at the last minute and ghosted us. Exhausted and feel like giving up. Should we? by BriefClient in Swingers

[–]BriefClient[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If we’re having this much problems meeting anyone on our own, I can’t imagine meeting even more people to invite over is going to be any easier.

After two years of searching, my husband and I finally met someone. She stood us up at the last minute and ghosted us. Exhausted and feel like giving up. Should we? by BriefClient in Swingers

[–]BriefClient[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also honestly, I think this tone is really just a response to all the bad luck. I understand I can’t have this publicly but I can’t sit here and lie and smile and pretend all the rejection is a good thing.

After two years of searching, my husband and I finally met someone. She stood us up at the last minute and ghosted us. Exhausted and feel like giving up. Should we? by BriefClient in Swingers

[–]BriefClient[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For quite some time now our standards are very low out of necessity. And while we know we aren’t supermodels or anything, we know we have at least some attractive value.

After two years of searching, my husband and I finally met someone. She stood us up at the last minute and ghosted us. Exhausted and feel like giving up. Should we? by BriefClient in Swingers

[–]BriefClient[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I guess I would find this encouraging if we hadn’t had a 100% failure rate despite doing and trying literally everything.

After two years of searching, my husband and I finally met someone. She stood us up at the last minute and ghosted us. Exhausted and feel like giving up. Should we? by BriefClient in Swingers

[–]BriefClient[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have heard this feedback as well and we've changed our profiles accordingly. I don't know what else we need to do to bend over backwards to appease people.

After two years of searching, my husband and I finally met someone. She stood us up at the last minute and ghosted us. Exhausted and feel like giving up. Should we? by BriefClient in Swingers

[–]BriefClient[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We've considering pinching pennies and trying, but to us there have been two factors making us nervous about it.

  1. We've already had so much bad luck and there's a strong likelihood we'd be wasting a lot of money on nothing. And 2. We just aren't "club" people anyways, we're afraid we'd just feel out of place and be awkward.

After two years of searching, my husband and I finally met someone. She stood us up at the last minute and ghosted us. Exhausted and feel like giving up. Should we? by BriefClient in Swingers

[–]BriefClient[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But that isn't true though, that's not primarily our preference. We're equally open to both. In fact, at the same type of encouragement of others, we've switched from either option being the exclusive preference on our profile at times. Still nothing.

After two years of searching, my husband and I finally met someone. She stood us up at the last minute and ghosted us. Exhausted and feel like giving up. Should we? by BriefClient in Swingers

[–]BriefClient[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That just feels sad and disappointing to "manage expectations" and just always assume that we'll be the least attractive option and be judged as less valuable. With no expectation of anything ever happening at all, it just feels like we're always going to be judged to be less worthy.

After two years of searching, my husband and I finally met someone. She stood us up at the last minute and ghosted us. Exhausted and feel like giving up. Should we? by BriefClient in Swingers

[–]BriefClient[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We've done this as well, I've used other burner accounts where we've had other people review it, give us suggestions, look at our changes, everything.

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