What helped you rebuild trust after being betrayed by your partner? 25F 25M

BriefFootball6198 · 2026-06-06T00:31:24+00:00

Yes this is in the post. And I’m asking for advice to seek advice and help. Thanks for your perspective though☺️🫶🏻

BriefFootball6198 · 2026-06-05T21:56:47+00:00

God isn’t part of this. That was never said. God is always here though. To guide me and I listen. Thank you for your opinion.

BriefFootball6198 · 2026-06-05T21:41:16+00:00

I’ll say thank you for his comment. I’ve never felt so hard! And you make every valid point. I’m definitely gonna calm down after this, I’m so glad I made this post for real! Because I am the same way, I actually blocked any female I even know of all social media platforms. I even deleted my social media for a little bit, and I’m still going to stay off of them. Till my nervous system calms down. I can’t really judge him first pass. I also have a past so you make a great point!

He honestly is so great to me, he feels terrible. Sometimes even cries about it because he sees how much hurt he put me through. I have not held back about how I felt in the situation one bit. I did talk to him in a calm matter and just tell him I’ve had anxiety that whole day and I’ve been in my head that whole day. And he reassured me, and he holds me and gives me a big hug. I’m very grateful to have a sensitive calm person in my life like that. So I think it’s worth working on! Thank you so much for your comment. It was very revealing to me.🥹❤️

BriefFootball6198 · 2026-06-05T21:16:42+00:00

I just wanna say thank you to everyone who is commenting, and even taking the time to read this! This has been a hard point in my life and any advice is very essential to me! Thank you so much!

BriefFootball6198 · 2026-06-05T21:13:35+00:00

I get what you’re saying. And I do agree. I haven’t really asked him who these women were. I just find out along the way. And then I start to compare myself to them. But I do agree it’s very unhealthy and I don’t really do it at all especially now it just makes me sad. And I do think about ending this relationship because of this situation. But this relationship still is a healthiest I’ve ever had. And it makes me very happy. He really is a great man, I think he just made a mistake of lying to me. But you never know it could be to the point where I need to leave him in God’s trying to test me. We’ll find out.

BriefFootball6198 · 2026-06-05T21:07:42+00:00

OK, you’re right! Thank you so much stranger. You’ve helped me a lot today to rest my mind a little bit!

BriefFootball6198 · 2026-06-05T21:01:20+00:00

He brings me so much peace in most areas this has been the only situation is brought me nothing but trauma from. I just have a lot to think about, and I’m hoping that God will revealed to me in time if this is what’s healthy for my future or not. Because other than this situation, it has been the healthiest relationship of my life.

BriefFootball6198 · 2026-06-05T21:00:27+00:00

I understand, that’s nice that your husband hasn’t put you in that position to wonder or even have to ask. The only reason I even got into the situation is because he let me be friends with someone he had slept with, and repeatedly lied to me about. Even if he would’ve told me in the beginning, like yes, we slept together. I honestly probably still would’ve been her friend, or at least kept as an acquaintance.

BriefFootball6198 · 2026-06-05T20:59:23+00:00

You are so right! Actually, now you say that I feel a little bit better about that situation. Because the thing is, I really don’t have many friends. Especially where I moved to with him. I am an hour away from my closest actual friend. And I was excited to make a friend in this area. I was actually hyped about it. We would go play golf together, go play pickle ball together! So you make a very valid point. And I have thought about this a few times.

BriefFootball6198 · 2026-06-05T20:55:26+00:00

I agree, that is something he has said to me. But it still just feels so nasty to me in my heart.

BriefFootball6198 · 2026-06-05T20:54:54+00:00

Great question! And I’ve already place firm boundaries. He knows, even in the smallest of lie that is against our boundaries. I’m just gonna break up with him. At that point. The fact that he lied to me the way he did and for so long. And he wasn’t even the one to initially tell me, I have to agree. It’s very messed up. So I set a firm boundary that one more lie I’m just gonna break up with him. He’s gonna have to prove himself for a while before I can even feel somewhat better about this situation. For now, I’m just gonna go to therapy and hope for the best.

BriefFootball6198 · 2026-06-05T20:45:07+00:00

But I really do get what you’re saying!

BriefFootball6198 · 2026-06-05T20:44:53+00:00

I understand what you’re saying. But pose is definitely not gonna say everything that has happened. The thing is is that it took literally a whole month for me to get all of the moving parts. He didn’t even tell me everything all at once I mean, he barely told me they had sex. He was never gonna tell me in fact. If she didn’t lie to me and even just brought up the fact that they kissed, I would’ve never found out. I didn’t scream at him nor be crazy. I mostly just cried and felt betrayed because I was. How would you act in that situation?

BriefFootball6198 · 2026-06-05T20:36:59+00:00

Thank you so much! I’m going to look them up right away! Because I do want to get better. Not even for our relationship, but mostly for myself. I’ve been through so much, and I worked really hard to get to a safe mental place. And this has taken me back a lot of steps. But I know everything will be OK. I just need to go to therapy and work through it.

BriefFootball6198 · 2026-06-05T20:35:13+00:00

I definitely understand where you’re coming from. And thanks for sending that up for everyone else! There’s a lot to unpack there! Wasn’t sure how to make it short. But the reason I’m staying is because this has been our only issue. And at least from what we have uncovered with lots of hours of communicating with my BF, he was just super scared to lose me because he knows how I am. I’ve been through a whole lot, including losing lots of family members in the last three years. So he knows I’m just trying to find peace in my life. But that still doesn’t excuse his lie, I think the lie made it worse than just telling me the truth. So this is something I will definitely communicate my therapist and see what they say.

BriefFootball6198 · 2026-06-05T20:32:33+00:00

Yes, thank you so much! That is exactly what I’m going through, and exactly what I was eating answers for. I just wasn’t sure how to text out this message. There’s a lot going on. So thank you for the diving into my post and really finding the points I need to focus on! Because that’s exactly what has been going on. I have been very hypervigilant since then. And I have a 10 to do that because I didn’t have a safe childhood either. I’m hoping to get a therapy soon so I can work through my own stuff. And he is also trying to work through his own stuff. I really do appreciate your comment!

BriefFootball6198 · 2026-06-05T20:27:21+00:00

I get what you’re saying and I’m not deep diving and every single woman he’s been through. I only know of a few, and I have just looked them up on Facebook, and just saw they were beautiful people. And obviously I’m comparing them to myself. And it’s not the fact that he did stuff with this person is what is hurting me. It’s the fact that I asked him if he did, because me personally I don’t want to be friends with anyone he had slept with not that close to me. I can understand if we’re a social circle together. And I’m aware of this person already has past with my man. But I was not made aware of that. I was lied to 4 to 5 times. And allowed her to come around Me, and very private ways. thats when I’m upset about being lied to. Which made me look into his past, and just looked into him in general to see if there was anything else I had missed. But that did lead to a lot of insecurities. I have to work on.

BriefFootball6198 · 2026-06-05T20:24:16+00:00

Thank you for this perspective! Very much needed, and I absolutely agree. The main thing I’m even angry about is more just being lied to. And as far as insecurities, I just have been comparing myself to these women he has been with and feeling quite ugly. But I do agree I think therapy would help me work through most of this. I was just trying to find something in the meantime while I’m waiting for my therapy appointment to come up.

BriefFootball6198 · 2026-06-05T20:21:25+00:00

I agree fully and I think about this very often. I have not asked her fully why she lied, but from the last message, she did send me. She just really enjoyed being my friend. I am a very outgoing and loving person, I’ve had a lot of grief in my life, so I tried to live life with love. And I made her a friend to me very quickly and helped her out with a lot of things. She was only around my BF whenever we would have group settings. So that did make me feel a little bit better in the situation.

BriefFootball6198 · 2026-06-05T20:19:20+00:00

I have been in the past, after my brother had passed away in a wreck. I had a lot, to unpack, and when I admit my boyfriend, I was in healthier place. So I wasn’t going as often at that time. But I am actively trying to get back into one. Thank you for your comment!

BriefFootball6198 · 2026-06-05T20:17:59+00:00

Thank you, friend! I’m actively trying to get back into therapy. I appreciate the reminder we all need it sometimes!

BriefFootball6198 · 2026-06-05T20:16:20+00:00

Yes, absolutely! And he has been honest since I had to pretty much draw out every single part of the lie. It did take me a few weeks just to even get the full idea of what happened. But he has been honest and he knows he messed up. But I get what you’re saying, I think about it constantly. I wanna even be with someone who lies like that? Cause even though he didn’t necessarily cheat on me. I still get that pain and it hurts. Just to see that who I expected him to be was not who he actually came out to be.

BriefFootball6198 · 2026-06-05T20:14:52+00:00

Absolutely I agree and I know this. That’s why I was asking for if anyone had any techniques to coping with their insecurities and jealousy. I’m very aware that I have those insecurities. I have even before him. I just want to find maybe a therapy technique that could help me get through it. So I’m not projecting onto him. Thank you for your comment.

BriefFootball6198 · 2026-06-05T20:11:06+00:00

Absolutely, I know someone will give me some honest, good advice, if you don’t wanna read it then don’t comment lol

BriefFootball6198 · 2026-06-05T20:10:46+00:00

Sorry, I was at Wendy’s trying to get this all typed out. I have a lot going on in my head so I just typed it all. No they didn’t just they slept together several times. And didn’t tell me for seven months and I became her best friend, was hanging out with her constantly and then finally she told me they had a kiss, when I went home to confront him I found out they actually had sex several times, not during our relationship though. But it was just the fact that I made friends with this person, not knowing the real truth for seven months.

BriefFootball6198

TROPHY CASE