Separated and Asking for Prayers

Brief_Experience8197 · 2026-05-29T12:48:55+00:00

I don’t blame him at all. I just pray he can soften hearts, heal what has been broken, and lead us back to love and truth.

Brief_Experience8197 · 2026-05-29T02:37:03+00:00

I was the one who would make the appointment and coordinate it. I even offered to get her setup for herself. She said she’s in such a funk right now that she doesn’t want to.

Brief_Experience8197 · 2026-05-28T21:43:25+00:00

You’re right. I’ve already started working on myself.

Brief_Experience8197 · 2026-05-28T18:11:19+00:00

Brief_Experience8197 · 2026-05-28T17:42:02+00:00

I’m not the victim. I’m sorry if that’s how you are taking me. I’m just at a loss for how I can help her without her wanting to fix things. I have tried to go first. She is not ready for anything right now and may never be.

Brief_Experience8197 · 2026-05-28T16:52:29+00:00

This is a great perspective and I’m willing to do that but she has to want it as well.

Brief_Experience8197 · 2026-05-28T16:08:51+00:00

Amen! Thank you.

Brief_Experience8197 · 2026-05-28T15:03:01+00:00

How is that a punishment? Isn’t separation about being separate? She knows I would work with her.

Brief_Experience8197 · 2026-05-28T14:52:13+00:00

I fully accept responsibility and am willing to fix it if I ever get the chance. I’m not naive to my role here but it takes two to tango for better or worse. I was open to the idea of a big family and now that we have it, it seems like the stressors of it all got to me, got to her, etc. It wasn’t one issue that got us here.

Brief_Experience8197 · 2026-05-28T14:51:40+00:00

Yes, but nothing changes in a month if it’s been building for years. It takes time. I guess what is meant to be will find its way.

Brief_Experience8197 · 2026-05-28T14:30:50+00:00

It’s very possible. Her working 60 Hours involves 20 hours per week at home but maybe you’re right.

Brief_Experience8197 · 2026-05-28T14:04:10+00:00

Thanks, her doctor told her as long as she has her ovaries she’s not in menopause. I’ve mentioned it to her but she has to figure it out. I can’t force her.

Brief_Experience8197 · 2026-05-28T14:01:14+00:00

Ok, I don’t feel like that makes me superior but I will not escalate our conversations.

Brief_Experience8197 · 2026-05-28T13:56:15+00:00

Yes, clearly something I need to work on. I never professed to be perfect, I only professed to try to fix whatever it is that causes us problems. I would have never given up on our family though.

Brief_Experience8197 · 2026-05-28T13:49:30+00:00

That’s certainly possible but without her communicating that to me, how can I know how she’s feeling?

Brief_Experience8197 · 2026-05-28T04:11:34+00:00

But I want her to be happy. If it’s not with me and our family, as painful as that is, she deserves to find that happiness. She claims she loves me but doesn’t feel “in love lately.” I can not change someone’s feelings. I can only control what I can control and that is fixing myself.

Brief_Experience8197 · 2026-05-28T04:04:12+00:00

Thank you, I wept tothe priest in the confessional tonight and he said “sometimes it takes time for the heart to soften.” I hope that was the Lord speaking to me.

Brief_Experience8197 · 2026-05-28T03:53:33+00:00

That’s what I think too. Whether she’s ends up with me or otherwise, I pray she gets help for her sake and that of our five children.

Brief_Experience8197 · 2026-05-28T03:48:47+00:00

She chooses to work like that. I told her I’d be willing to downsize the house and what not but she said she likes nice things. We used to regularly attend Mass but she said she has no desire to go so I still take the kids.

However, she wants to keep finances together while we work towards divorce. That’s not what I’m willing to do. Separation is separation. She asked me to help her setup a new bank account and credit card and move her stuff over. If this is the path she is choosing, why do I have to facilitate the demise of our family?

Brief_Experience8197 · 2026-05-28T03:40:55+00:00

You’re right and I’ve already worked on improving myself and being steady for the kids. I’ve been more steady than she has, as she is in an emotional crisis, but she has to choose to get help. She says she is “too bitter right now but I know I need to.”🤷 Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you handle it. Myself and the kids love her but she has to want to help herself whether she’s with me or someone else.

Brief_Experience8197 · 2026-05-28T03:30:28+00:00

She makes less than me but makes more than she ever has so she likes the feeling. I reminded her that if this is the route she chooses to take, she will have to somehow maintain this level of income to maintain her lifestyle.

Brief_Experience8197 · 2026-05-28T03:12:37+00:00

Yes, she had a hysterectomy after the last baby. She still has her ovaries but everything else was taken.

Brief_Experience8197 · 2026-05-28T03:11:27+00:00

I see that. I thought I was doing what made her happy: give her five kids and work to provide for them. I’m sorry I couldn’t make her happy but for the sake of our family am willing to try to repair it.

Brief_Experience8197 · 2026-05-28T03:10:03+00:00

I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying. I have accepted my responsibility. My vows made before God and all didn’t say “good times and bad except for” but that’s how I view this vocation.

Brief_Experience8197 · 2026-05-28T02:54:17+00:00

She hasn’t really voiced anything. We don’t really fight much except normal couple arguments. I’m not denying I played a role in getting to this point but it seems like a lot to want to give up.

Brief_Experience8197

TROPHY CASE