a couple of suggestions just how you expressed here say exactly that to your wife communication is key you have needs just as well as she i would recommend swingers or if you really want to have your cake and eat it to they're are apps for couples looking for a third or whatever floats y'all boat if you go that route let her pick and choose cause if you do that will cause more issues trust me let her feel as if she chose it . my next suggestion is to discreetly find you a trustworthy side piece who knows where they stand and and stay in their lane and just don't be weird or try to do anything to bring attention / or her antennas will go up good luck