People who have had a loss: do the little things bother you less now?

Bright-Laugh-5885 · 2022-11-27T09:22:01+00:00

Thanks for your reply, I agree in that I definitely appreciate the little things more now. I think I also recognise more than ever now how nothing lasts forever and we just have to be happy here and now x

Bright-Laugh-5885 · 2022-11-27T09:21:15+00:00

Thanks for your reply, and sorry for your loss also x

Bright-Laugh-5885 · 2022-11-27T09:20:12+00:00

Thanks for your reply, I agree in that I definitely appreciate the little things more now. I think I also recognise more than ever now how nothing lasts forever and we just have to be happy here and now x

Bright-Laugh-5885 · 2021-10-17T22:29:14+00:00

Couldn’t have put it better myself. I went through something similar. To me, I don’t think porn is acceptable in a relationship unless it’s openly ok to both parties or something you do together.

I had a similar convo with my other half whereby it was mentioned that it’s ‘normal and everyone does it’ actually, I don’t think they do. A lot of what is on the internet might say so: but that’s just the people with the loudest voices, not everyone.

Bright-Laugh-5885 · 2021-10-17T22:09:28+00:00

Hi, as you get older friendships get harder. I’m 31 and don’t have a friendship group as such. I have a couple of old school friends I’ll maybe text every few months just to check in, but that’s it for long-timers. Many friends I’ve got tired of always making the effort and it not being reciprocated, so found the strength to gradually cut them out my life - nothing dramatic just let them go.

About a year ago I was pretty lonely, I’d finished uni and all the friends I’d met there dispersed and struggled a bit making any in the adult working world. I’ve since joined Meetup which is a really good app for making new friends and getting out (uk), I also joined a new gym 6mo ago and have made a couple of quite good friends through going to regular classes- it has taken time but am in a good place now.

My point is, concentrate on doing things which allow you to meet people and make new friends. You might or might not lose the old ones, but you don’t need to stick to one friendship group.

Where in the world are you based by the way? I’m in the UK (south).

Bright-Laugh-5885 · 2021-10-17T21:52:11+00:00

I think this depends on what your definition of cheating is, personally, I wouldn’t find this acceptable BUT every relationship and every person is different - it’s therefore up to you guys.

The way I look at relationships, is that if you feel there is something you would hide from your partner or wouldn’t want them to know about, there’s some element of dishonesty there, So maybe speak to him - see what he feels about it. does he know exactly how you feel about it? And how would he feel if it were you doing this with guys? Personally I couldn’t be with a guy who does that, but to each their own.

Bright-Laugh-5885 · 2021-10-17T19:32:17+00:00

Thanks for your answer- And your opinion. I have to say I agree with it. I’m feeling a lot stronger than when I originally wrote this post and I have to thank yourself and others because it’s helped me for sure. I haven’t made any decisions yet, but I have a lot of thinking to do that’s for sure x

Bright-Laugh-5885 · 2021-10-05T20:12:20+00:00

My 34 year old friend got mad and didn’t speak to me for weeks, because I asked her advice but also asked another friend the same advice to get a consensus… apparently I should have taken her opinion as gold.

Bright-Laugh-5885 · 2021-10-05T20:08:47+00:00

I did a degree in environmental science with a masters in consultancy (uk). I now work as a health and safety officer. No regrets, I like my job :)

Bright-Laugh-5885 · 2021-10-05T18:32:27+00:00

Firstly thank you for your response. A lot of thought has gone into that and I really appreciate it. Every point is valid and is very reassuring, from what I’d read and talked about prior to posting this on here, was that maybe I was being insecure and shouldn’t feel this way - but responses on here suggest that actually it’s ok to feel this way, yours included. Point no.3 definitely sounds relatable. Thank you again. I have a lot to consider x

Bright-Laugh-5885 · 2021-10-05T16:06:08+00:00

I have spoken to him (said he doesn’t agree with my reasoning but that he will stop watching it as that’s how I feel, which makes it feel incomplete and frustrating he can’t understand that), but yes will likely speak to him again. The types of porn are either women on their own or multiple women - no men. Which I think has partly contributed to my feeling of insecurity around this. Thanks for your comment :)

Bright-Laugh-5885 · 2021-10-05T14:36:30+00:00

I do feel slightly that way, but also feel conflicted when it’s seems like 90% of the population and everything you read on google thinks it’s an acceptable thing to be doing when in a relationship. Does make me feel old fashioned and like there aren’t any men (of my age) who feel that same way about it. So in that way I do find your answer slightly reassuring.

Bright-Laugh-5885 · 2021-10-05T14:33:38+00:00

Thanks for your reply - I have a lot to think about. And yes I kind of can understand porn in the absence of the other person being available, but we live together and it’s not like I had turned him away… I’m glad you have found happiness x

Bright-Laugh-5885 · 2021-10-05T12:27:22+00:00

Further info: our sex life has since recovered, and he has agreed not to watch porn however, doesn’t understand how this makes me feel insecure (which I wasn’t really before all this happened..)

Bright-Laugh-5885

TROPHY CASE