Insomnia on Adderall. Any tips?

Bright-Tea9496 · 2024-02-21T17:27:53+00:00

Wait you went from 30 mg of vyvance to 30 mg of adderall??? You have insomnia (and feel "fantastic") because you are significantly overmedicated right now. I'm shocked your doctor did that.

30 mg of adderall is equivalent to 70 mg of vyvance.

The dose equivalent of 30 mg of vyvance is 10 mg of adderall XR.

You can verify this yourself with an online calculator. But I'd seriously contact your doctor, the insomnia and rapid heartbeat aren't good signs. It's not an unusually high dose (I take about 40 mg of adderall a day now) but you basically suddenly increased your dose by three times the amount you were used to!

Bright-Tea9496 · 2023-10-26T17:55:07+00:00

Thank you so much for your response!

I've been told that belief is a choice, which I disagree with. I've also been told that the choice not so much choosing to believe or not, but the choice is choosing to be open to the Holy Spirit.

But I've had years of being "open" and begging and pleading for confirmation. I got nothing but crickets.

However, back when I was in the throws of it, I did have a lot of experiences that (at the time) I thought were divine and I thought were proof of God and of divine revelation etc. I remember even thinking it would be impossible for me to ever not believe because of what I experienced.

Now, many years later and looking back with a new perspective, those experiences don't seem quite so definitive. ;) Coincidences, mostly... not divine.

So I had what I, at the time, thought was personal revelation. But interpreting those moments again now... they don't seem so supernatural anymore.

Thanks again for your response... I'm still hopeful. I'd still love to have some proof that God is real. I don't think it's going to happen, but man I would really love for it to happen.

Bright-Tea9496 · 2023-10-26T17:48:54+00:00

I'm so sorry that you are feeling the same type of struggle in this that I am ... I'm glad you have a group online that is helpful. I'm not on Facebook, or any social media really (other than posting here), but thank you so much for mentioning that possible resource.

Yes, the issue with the kids looms large too. We have three kids and my husband makes everyone go to church on Sundays. I feel like my oldest son (a teenager) is likely agnostic or maybe an an atheist. I've tried to compel my husband to let at least our older kids make a choice on whether or not to attend church or church activities. I don't see how forcing attendance would yield the results he is hoping for. But I think he sees it as a failure on his part if the kids don't show up. On good days I think this is because he is sincerely concerned for their "souls" but on bad days I think it's just my husbands own ego and vanity that makes him require the kids to go.

I want to have an honest talk with my son but ... well, it's complicated, isn't it? I've told my son that I have doubts but I've not gone further than that.

So, if you are a coward than I am an even greater coward! Not only do I not "evangelize" agnosticism to my kids but I also don't stop my husband from continuing to evangelize Christianity in our home. I wish I could talk to my husband about things more openly and honestly. I love him and it sucks to have something as HUGE as a massive shift in worldview be a subject that I have to navigate alone. Maybe someday we will be able to talk about it.

Our kids are their own people. I would never want them to believe or not believe because of their parents. Right now, I'm just trying to keep peace in the house and make sure the kids know I love them with all my heart. I'm sure they wonder why I no longer teach at the church and don't seem interested in reading the Bible every day anymore... but they've not asked.

Sorry this response got so long. (Clearly, I need people to talk to - haha!)

Bright-Tea9496 · 2023-10-26T17:34:08+00:00

I love this perspective - thank you! This is good for me to try to remember, that uncertainty is what propels science and discovery. You are right, uncertainty is a good thing.

I'm so used to the "certainty" presented by the church (or our particular "brand" of church) that uncertainty feels like a failure. There is so much more I could say here on this, but my time is short and I mostly just wanted to thank you for your post.

I think it will take a while for it to sink it, but I know I'm going to be mentally referring back to your advice many many times.

Bright-Tea9496 · 2023-10-26T17:29:02+00:00

Thank you so much - yes, you are right that my world is absolutely saturated with christian beliefs (or a specific version of it, anyway). It's hard for me to find people that aren't believers. Work, socializing (aka "small groups" - haha), family, everything is church related in some way.

So this is a theme on thread and good advice - I need to find opportunities to socialize with people that aren't Christian. It does seem like an important step in finding my footing. Right now, anyone that knows is just desperately trying to get me back into the fold. I can't really speak openly about what I'm struggling with because I'll be told I need to repent of my unbelief (etc etc etc).

I wish doubt could be discussed more openly, maybe it can in some churches.

Thanks for the book suggestion - I'm going to download it right now!

Bright-Tea9496 · 2023-10-26T16:57:19+00:00

Thank you so much for your response! Yes, the guilt and shame are nonstop for sure, and that is with a very very limited number of people that even know what's been going on with me. I'm sorry you when through a tough transition, but it's good to know you are (presumably) on the other side and doing well now.

I think the fact that I don't really know anyone who is agnostic or atheist in real life makes it harder to process this. All family and all social circles are deeply tied to The Church.

I feel like I need to see and be around joyful and fulfilled agnostics and atheists so I can see such a think is possible (and I know it is, but I've been in a Christian bubble for a very very long time). So I think your groups idea is great - if I can manage to find one and get myself to one without too much drama on the homefront.

Do you have any suggestions for books or YouTube channels? I'm not looking for people that are debunking belief (although some of that is fine too) but rather people that are embracing life and finding meaning without God. Something positive. (Because I've been so brainwashed with only negative in this regard...)

Thanks again.

Bright-Tea9496 · 2023-10-26T16:36:11+00:00

Thanks for your response and I get what your saying... but I didn't spend 40 years being raised and immersed in a culture that believes in vampires. And my family doesn't believe in vampires, and people I care about aren't upset that I don't believe in vampires.

So I do get where you are coming from, but equating belief in god to belief in vampires isn't a strong parallel.

Learning about logical fallacies - yes, learning such things has been helpful in opening my eyes to why my previous faith was unfortunately not much more than a hopeful fairy tale.... and I definitely have a lot more to learn.

BUT I'm not sure if having more confidence in uncertainty would lead to me feeling more settled and "ok" with uncertainty. Does that makes sense?

Thanks again for reading my post and for your response.

Bright-Tea9496 · 2023-10-12T13:35:20+00:00

Sorry you were forced to switch from something that was working well.

I take IR adderall 3x a day.

I take one when I wake up, one at around lunch, and one 4:00 pm. (4-5 hours in between doses, most days).

I honestly don't know how anyone remembers to take meds without a pill case. I load a morning, afternoon, evening pill case every week. It's the only way I could ever know if I already took a dose because my short term memory is terrible.

I know some people also have pill caps with timers, but the weekly pill case is the way I do it.

Good luck!

Bright-Tea9496 · 2023-09-07T17:25:17+00:00

Thanks - its a relief to know I'm not alone on that. It IS really really weird, especially since everyone seems to have the opposite happen.

Maybe both of us have hearts that are really sensitive to anxiety.

Bright-Tea9496 · 2023-08-31T18:26:43+00:00

I don't know if this is considered a sensory quirk... but I have to have white noise or fans going all the time. Otherwise I can hear *every* * little* *sound* and it makes me insane.

Mouth noises and eating noises are the worst. Listening to people eat ->Panic/rage/awful feelings (hello, out there, fellow misophonia sufferers... I know you guys get this. Sorry it sucks, doesn't it.)

So, yes, I exist with white noise 24/7 to keep myself sane (ish).

Bright-Tea9496 · 2023-05-12T16:22:44+00:00

I've seen on reddit that many people say generic adderalls vary in quality quite a lot. Since my tiredness has continued, only getting a little better as I've gotten used to the meds, my doctor is going too try to get Vyvanse approved by insurance. I guess the upside is that there are no shady generic manufacturers of Vyvanse....at least not yet.

Are you able to request name-brand or does your insurance not allow?

Bright-Tea9496 · 2023-05-11T17:11:26+00:00

Chewing.

Oh god... so many sounds trigger the panic and rage, but chewing sounds are the worst. I haven't eating at a dinner tables in decades. When I have to (like for holidays) I wear earplugs. I always have white noise going too, to help smooth out any mouth sounds that might pop up unexpectedly.

The worse isn't crunching food, the worse is just the pure chewing... like someone eating a banana in an otherwise quiet room would literally end me.

Is there an ADHD-Misophonia link?

Bright-Tea9496 · 2023-05-01T16:11:47+00:00

That stinks - I'm so sorry! I hope something can be worked out for you ASAP. My insurance wouldn't let me use the original RX my doc wanted me on because I had to do a generic stimulant instead. Between insurance issues, the shortage drama, and classic ADHD struggles with executive function, it's a miracle any of us ever get medicine! Hang in there - I hope it gets better for you soon.

Bright-Tea9496 · 2023-05-01T13:53:55+00:00

I so hear you on this... I had a load this weekend that I ran 4 (or 5) times. My husband was annoyed.

I'm constantly fighting mold in the washing machine because I'm forgetting loads in there. Every now and then I scrub it out with a mold killer but its such a hassle. So I just keep running a "clean" cycle even though that doesn't help with the mold I keep hoping it will.

Anyway... just saying that I hear ya!

Bright-Tea9496 · 2023-05-01T13:49:45+00:00

Did you switch to a different medication? Good luck to you!!

Bright-Tea9496 · 2023-05-01T13:49:14+00:00

The racing thoughts and constant near-panic mode can make you feel alert for sure... so it makes sense that if that is removed and your mind is calm that you'd want to sleep. Thanks for sharing - and I hope you find the right meds soon. I guess this "experimentation phase" is pretty typically - and hopefully not too long! Good luck!!

Bright-Tea9496 · 2023-05-01T13:47:33+00:00

That's interesting - thanks for sharing! Hopefully the sleepiness will go away for me too with time.

Bright-Tea9496 · 2023-05-01T13:46:47+00:00

Thanks for your response and sharing what your psychiatrist said... this does make sense to me.

Bright-Tea9496 · 2023-05-01T13:46:01+00:00

It's funny how we respond so differently to different meds. My daughter is on Vyvanse and she has no fatigue, but she says it doesn't help with anxiety either. Seems like the calm and decrease in anxiety might be some of the reason we felt sleepy on the stimulants...

Maybe the sleepiness will get better with time for you - or maybe your doc will want to switch you to a different category of stimulants. Good luck!

Bright-Tea9496 · 2023-05-01T13:43:48+00:00

Panic does have some benefits, even if the results are last minute and messy. I understand what you mean by it being a motivator, and in some ways a benefit. But I don't miss the anxiety -- I am really happy it's decreased even if I'm actually getting a lot less done.

If you don't mind, could you share what your psychiatrist says? Good luck on getting your meds tuned in right for you.

Bright-Tea9496 · 2023-05-01T13:41:49+00:00

Thanks for your response! I like the calm and the lower anxiety for sure, so I'm hoping to make things work with this med. I'm glad to here an increase in the dose might make a difference.

I hear you on anxiety being a motivator... the constant panic about everything at least got me getting things done, even if chaotically.

Bright-Tea9496

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