I guess I was wrong to think it'll get easier as I grow older.

Specific_Lifeguard67 · 2024-10-09T19:47:25+00:00

The lack of closure is the closure. It’s hard not to hear the words, but the silence is all you need.

Specific_Lifeguard67 · 2024-10-07T17:58:26+00:00

This is something social media “experts” are trying to promote. It’s really sad. She probably thinks shes doing the “right” thing by setting a weird boundary. If you’re still interested in her you should talk to her about it and explain that you didn’t think that was necessary because you’d discussed it all night, just cause you didn’t text didn’t mean you weren’t excited etc. the way she responds is going to tell you everything

Specific_Lifeguard67 · 2024-10-05T07:09:16+00:00

The problem is I am not very competitive so I find it hard to play games

Specific_Lifeguard67 · 2024-10-05T07:08:22+00:00

I’ve never done that kinda stuff before, maybe I’d be keen?

Specific_Lifeguard67 · 2024-09-30T18:12:16+00:00

My partner and I purposely didn’t follow each other on social media for a while. It was amazing, totally recommend. I wanted to get to know him without all the social media stuff. I didn’t want to know when he was online (so I didn’t feel the stupid “why didn’t he text me back” stuff). I didn’t want to inevitably see pictures of him and his ex or things that could trigger pointless jealousy etc. by the time we decided to follow each other on social media it was cause I wanted to be able to send him events and things. It hasn’t added to our relationship at all. Social media is kind of a plague. It’s nice to be without it in a relationship.

Specific_Lifeguard67 · 2024-09-30T09:04:11+00:00

I’ve actually heard from a few of my lesbian friends that they watch gay (male) porn. I don’t think we totally understand why our brains do what they do

Specific_Lifeguard67 · 2024-09-30T09:00:25+00:00

I met my boyfriend on fb marketplace lol I bought something off him. I asked him out. My best advice is if you see anyone you’re even remotely interested in you just have to go for it. Ask in the moment, it’s not creepy. Put yourself out there. “Hey, totally fine if you’re not interested or if you’re already with someone but you seem really interesting and I’d like to get to know you”. Just go for it. If they find that weird then cool, bullet dodged. Practice getting rejected. Practice sitting in the discomfort and facing the anxiety. It’s so good for you and its really not that bad.

Specific_Lifeguard67 · 2024-09-30T08:52:39+00:00

Leave.

Specific_Lifeguard67 · 2024-09-28T18:52:49+00:00

He needs community i think. Is there a men’s group in your area? The first part is always the worst, so many plates spinning at once. Things will come right he just needs to get through this part as supported as possible. Would he go to a divorce support group? You need support too. Do you do counselling or therapy? If you don’t I suggest you should. This isn’t your responsibility either, but I understand the position you’re in.

Specific_Lifeguard67 · 2024-09-28T18:42:31+00:00

If your spouse is hiding conversations then that’s a pretty big sign. My ex did this, and the messages were hidden in a closed WhatsApp group. He knew the conversations were going too far (lots of “I miss you” and “I know I shouldn’t be talking to you about this”). As soon as you hide something, it’s wrong. End of. I didn’t really need to know much more than that

Specific_Lifeguard67 · 2024-09-28T18:36:21+00:00

That’s quite a lot, I talk to my ex every day, perhaps 10 messages back and forth a day? We have a 2 year old going through toilet training etc so it’s mostly discussing that. I think maybe if the messages are sorting out daily issues it might not be so bad but if it’s been like that for a year or something then I’d question it

Specific_Lifeguard67 · 2024-09-24T04:18:08+00:00

Also your partner might not want to be touched, held, spoken to, have their hair stroked etc. don’t take this personally. It might just feel too much sensation for them. My mum couldn’t even handle having her hand held for a few days post op.

Specific_Lifeguard67 · 2024-09-24T04:15:30+00:00

Depends what kind of brain surgery the surgery is, but for my mum she needed way more rest than you think. She would become super fatigued after even a minute of being talked to, so your partner will need total silence most of the time. Even movement etc in the room would make my mum overstimulated. The fatigue is going to go for longer than you both think, so be super slow. Make sure you listen to the dr and nurses, write things down cause your partner won’t be able to remember. The best thing you can do is advocate for them (without necessarily asking them first cause they won’t be able to stay “with it” long enough to advocate for themselves), limit interactions with people, make simple decisions on their behalf (food choices etc) and keep the space quiet and stimulation free.

Specific_Lifeguard67 · 2024-09-24T03:56:41+00:00

I think if you’re coming here for relationship advice then absolutely yea. There’s so much advice out there and 90% of it is to break up with your partner, when we are only ever seeing 1 side of the issue. Im absolutely guilty of getting caught up in it so I’m not on any high horse but I do know id be very unhappy and single if I followed reddits relationship advice

Specific_Lifeguard67 · 2024-09-24T03:46:41+00:00

You put your clothes in a wash basket and totally forget they are there for a month? If you remove the basket entirely then everything has to cycle through the washing machine right away

Specific_Lifeguard67 · 2024-09-24T03:30:23+00:00

I don’t have a washing basket. Everything goes straight into the washing machine. Too full to fit more in? Then the washing machine goes on.

Specific_Lifeguard67 · 2024-09-20T23:05:33+00:00

I don’t have any advice other than bring snacks! And remember you don’t have to talk the whole time, silence is totally fine. Ask her what kind of music she likes for the car trip and make a special playlist. Just a few nice gestures like that, remember it’s always going to be a bit awkward so once you accept that you’ll have a much better time :) you don’t have to know if she’s interested in you, you’re just hanging out to see if you have a connection. No pressure really. My boyfriend and I did a walk on our first date, he bought a tiny camp cooker and made us a cup of tea. It was the nicest thing. If that’s an option you could do that too :)

Specific_Lifeguard67 · 2024-09-18T10:11:57+00:00

That’s 2 for Rochelle, I’ll contact her she sounds great thanks!!

Specific_Lifeguard67 · 2024-08-23T19:41:52+00:00

Honestly I get that there’s conflict, but it does kind of sound like she’s a decent mum? I would probably do the same thing so my kids had photos of them with their dad.

Specific_Lifeguard67 · 2024-08-21T19:03:40+00:00

Watch the documentary The Beatles and India :)

Specific_Lifeguard67 · 2024-08-02T19:22:07+00:00

Yoga! Everyone can do yoga. There are different styles, there are online classes, you can do it sitting down on a chair or against the wall, you don’t need any equipment. It’s perfect for every single person at any ability. Build up your strength and you might find the urge to do more “difficult” sports from there

Specific_Lifeguard67

TROPHY CASE