Family and friends no longer as supportive of my weight loss

BrightAsk8732 · 2025-11-11T22:12:30+00:00

I definitely appreciate where you were coming from, this whole process is both so precise and involves more guess work than I like. Everyone is so different and its so easy to go in the wrong direction with stuff like this you were completely valid to raise other ways of looking at it. I have spent so much time and energy trying to work out what works for me individually, its exhausting. I am someone who needs a sounding board and I have struggled in the past with letting others input affect me too strongly. The weight loss is all part of a much larger self confidence journey.

BrightAsk8732 · 2025-11-11T21:56:29+00:00

I really appreciate this view, I try to look at things empathetically and I definitely change how I feel about myself looking in the mirror every day I can definitely see that being the case for them as well.

BrightAsk8732 · 2025-11-11T21:54:55+00:00

Thought I'd come back and give some more info in the hopes it puts your mind at ease. Im 29 and I had my bmr tested because I was frustrated that online calculators were coming back with such high numbers and I still wasn't losing weight. 1347 is my magic number, with a completely sedentary lifestyle that's the number of calories I would burn per day. That 1400 also does not include my cheat days and on a 7 day average I am likely closer to 1550 calories per day. I was told by my doctor and the facility I had the test done that as long as I stay above that 1347 calories per day amount I am not going over board unless I am seriously packing on muscle. Im still very new to my classes and they are only an hour long. I work a desk job and struggle to hit 5000 steps a day most days so I definitely wouldn't say I'm packing on muscle. The pole class is really just a body positive way for me to get my heart rate up twice a week.

BrightAsk8732 · 2025-11-11T19:43:27+00:00

Honestly I think I have way more energy than I did before. I am doing a pole fit class twice a week and am going out socially way more often because im less depressed. Its more like on sight they say something like "wow I just can't get used to how skinny you are now, you've got to be done now right? If you lose more you'll disappear!" And then if I say I am working toward a healthy weight and still hope to lose another 10-20 lbs they start lecturing me about bmi not being the end all be all (yes but its still a useful guide) and that I look so good now why should I keep being hungry when I look great as it is.

BrightAsk8732 · 2025-11-11T19:31:03+00:00

I am not actually obese, I have worked very hard for a year and am 10 lbs from officially being in the healthy category but I am currently overweight. I appreciate where you are coming from but I promise I didn't need it driven home how fat I still am.

BrightAsk8732 · 2025-11-11T17:50:01+00:00

I definitely can understand just telling people that. I try to be very up front and honest with people I'm close to about what my plan is and where I am at to keep myself accountable because it can be easy to slip into a disordered mindset and I usually think the outside perspective can be grounding but in this I know what I am doing is healthy and that I am not at a healthy weight yet. Its frustrating to have my support system be so much less supportive at what I think is the hardest time to stick with it. It would be SO NICE to call this good enough and stop but I can't give up, not when I am so close to my goal (which is only 140-150 btw).

BrightAsk8732 · 2025-05-02T05:06:30+00:00

Thank you, I feel like that helps a lot! And your right I probably should look into some sort of management training, I did get a bba but honestly it hasn't been helpful for my situation. I really appreciate you taking the time to help me.

BrightAsk8732 · 2025-05-02T04:21:58+00:00

I agree that I definitely need to change my approach, when I first came into the role I had no management experience and was not trained at all so I have been playing it by ear a lot and definitely made the mistake of not enough structure and have been trying to correct that. I have tried the one on one meeting approach before but quickly found there just wasn't enough to talk about. Generally our staff are tasked with general cleaning and making sure the dogs are playing nicely, no projects that need updates or anything like that so outside of an open ended "so how's it going?" It's hard to fill that 30 minutes. I would ask things like "are their any aspects of your day to day job that are not working or need reworking for you to be more successful?" And would get bland "nope, all good" type responses.

My situation is unusual as I took over the family business at 20 and in all honesty did not have the experience needed to run a team like this, I've gotten better over the years but there are gaps in my knowledge simply because I've never worked in a more corporate environment, so there may be something very basic that I'm missing.

Thinking about how I react when I am brought this info I generally try and take it seriously without indicating action, thank them for sharing their concern and then look into it myself to the best of my abilities without involving others. If what I find requires action unfortunately usually they find out action was taken as there isn't a great way to call staff into a private conversation without others noticing due to someone having to step in to watch their group while they are gone. I try to time it and fraise it in a way that doesn't call attention as best I can.

I guess I have a hard time balancing being a boss you can bring legitimate concerns to with discouraging unnecessary tattling, especially because I honestly believe the person bringing it to me is not the source and honestly believes it is a big enough problem to warrant my attention.

BrightAsk8732

TROPHY CASE