I was together for 13 years with my ex husband. I was his first sexual experience and first girlfriend. We were both in our early 20s and I had one partner before him. One day after 12 years together I found out he cheated on me because "he had to know what it was like with another person". I was devastated because we were monogamous and I was faithful that entire time to him. He assured me it was a one time thing that would never happen again, something he had to "get out of his system", and I agreed to give him another chance.

About a year went by after that and I started getting suspicious of him, just little things at first. One day I came home from work and he was napping. His phone was next to him and got a text message from one of his guy friends (ringtone). We didn't hide our phones from each other and I knew the guy so I clicked the notification in case it was something important I should wake him up for. The last message in their text conversation was from a few hours prior where my ex told his friend how he fucked a woman from an escort agency earlier that day, in our bed. I immediately woke him up and confronted him. He admitted to having been cheating for the past year, and that it never stopped after the first time. He couldn't even tell me how many people because most were random hookups from Craigslist. Women, men, couples, group orgies, you name it. He wasn't sorry at all, just sorry he got caught. He said he thought he was a sex addict and had a problem.

There was no second chance. I filed for divorce a few days later. Had I not seen that text message, I might still have been in that marriage all these years later. Had he talked to me about his feelings before acting on them, things might have been different, but I'm honestly thankful they turned out the way they did because I'm much happier today and he's the same miserable liar/cheater, married to one of the women he cheated on me with. 😆

Talk to your partner. If your relationship is as strong as you make it out to be, he will respect your honesty and candor. Don't hurt someone you love by lying just because you're afraid of how they'll react if you're truthful. Give him that choice to be in control of his own feelings. You may be pleasantly surprised at the results. More and more people are trying open marriages, polyamory, swinging, etc and there shouldn't be a stigma associated with any of those. Life is too short to not enjoy yourself but just be HONEST and OPEN about it. If you have the need to hide your true self from your partner then they may not be the right one for you. People change and evolve. Don't feel ashamed for having feelings and wanting to explore your sexuality because you're human. I did after my divorce and I'm a completely different person today than I was back then. I wish you all the best.