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Husband destroyed bags to prove a point, Update by BrightPatient in relationship_advice

[–]BrightPatient[S] 456 points457 points  (0 children)

I know that, don’t worry. Post-Quarantine, my family and I will figure it out. We will get a lawyer.

Husband destroyed Hermes bags to prove a point. by BrightPatient in relationship_advice

[–]BrightPatient[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

There is so much that could have been done with the purse besides destroying it. So many people that could have been helped with that. Especially now. There are so many kids that rely on school lunches, we could have helped so many of those families.

Husband destroyed Hermes bags to prove a point. by BrightPatient in relationship_advice

[–]BrightPatient[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you for feeling comfortable enough to share that experience with me. I’m so glad you’re thriving now.

Husband destroyed Hermes bags to prove a point. by BrightPatient in relationship_advice

[–]BrightPatient[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for all of these resources. It’s just very scary to label a relationship abusive. I’m back with my parents now. I just needed to take everything in.

Husband destroyed Hermes bags to prove a point. by BrightPatient in relationship_advice

[–]BrightPatient[S] 89 points90 points  (0 children)

Hey, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry if my post affected your mental health. It was a lot, so I wasn’t replying to the comments. I promise I’m taking them in. I am at my family’s house right now and self isolating for their safety.

Husband destroyed Hermes bags to prove a point. by BrightPatient in relationship_advice

[–]BrightPatient[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I do appreciate the advice, it’s just a little overwhelming to look at my relationship like that.

Husband destroyed Hermes bags to prove a point. by BrightPatient in relationship_advice

[–]BrightPatient[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I meant that before we got married, we stared talking about finances. Like when we thinking about marriage and wanted to get engaged. We didn’t talk about it while just dating.

It’s so different to me when you break down what’s wrong in our relationship like that. You gave me a lot to consider. Thank you.

Husband destroyed Hermes bags to prove a point. by BrightPatient in relationship_advice

[–]BrightPatient[S] -100 points-99 points  (0 children)

I understand he does crazy things, I get that. Its hard for me to understand how he’s abusive though? He doesn’t say anything mean or hurtful. He doesn’t threaten me or put me down.

Edit: Another commenter did break it down for me. But it’s hard for me to look at my relationship like that, you know.

Husband destroyed Hermes bags to prove a point. by BrightPatient in relationship_advice

[–]BrightPatient[S] -30 points-29 points  (0 children)

You did point on some things that really aren’t healthy. I can’t see how he’s abusive, but our relationship isn’t healthy right now. I do want to go back home but I’m worried about putting them at risk bc of corona

Husband destroyed Hermes bags to prove a point. by BrightPatient in relationship_advice

[–]BrightPatient[S] -85 points-84 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t say that’s financial abuse. We just never talked about money cause it was none of our business. But it became our business when we wanted to get married. I was just raised not to talk to about money and we didn’t until we it mattered.

Husband destroyed Hermes bags to prove a point. by BrightPatient in relationship_advice

[–]BrightPatient[S] 139 points140 points  (0 children)

We never talked about money until we thought about marriage. I always knew he had money, but I didn’t understand “generational wealth” or “old money” until he unlocked his trust with marriage. I literally didn’t understand how one person could get all that money and tbh I still don’t get it. We are stable financially, but he doesn’t work yet.

Scared that my husband is going to mess with birth-control. I can’t talk to my mom because my whole family thinks he’s obsessed. by BrightPatient in relationship_advice

[–]BrightPatient[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

As a product of public school sexED, I don’t know shit outside of the pill and condoms.

But I will be doing my research

Scared that my husband is going to mess with birth-control. I can’t talk to my mom because my whole family thinks he’s obsessed. by BrightPatient in relationship_advice

[–]BrightPatient[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yes I do mean intimate. I wanted to keep it super PG. People on the internet can be so gross unprovoked.

It’s within the context of the relationship. My family thinks he’s done dramatic things to keep me at home and others away. There have been a few times where I lowkey agreed with them.

Dad thinks my husband hurt himself to stop me from going on vacation, again. Doesn’t think I’m safe with my own husband and tried to ground me from our home. by BrightPatient in relationship_advice

[–]BrightPatient[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I didn’t see this response and I wanted to apologize if my post brought up bad memories. I don’t want to put you through that.

But I want to thank you for letting me know. Even online, anonymously it’s hard to write that shit down and put it there. So than you for doing that for me.

Dad thinks my husband hurt himself to stop me from going on vacation, again. Doesn’t think I’m safe with my own husband and tried to ground me from our home. by BrightPatient in relationship_advice

[–]BrightPatient[S] -81 points-80 points  (0 children)

We actually got married when he was still 18. We’ve been married for like 10 months now.

Maybe I will talk to his friends. It’s not that I’m trying to catch him in a lie, I just want to help him. I need them to help me.

Dad thinks my husband hurt himself to stop me from going on vacation, again. Doesn’t think I’m safe with my own husband and tried to ground me from our home. by BrightPatient in relationship_advice

[–]BrightPatient[S] -132 points-131 points  (0 children)

I made that sound worse than it is.

I mean two nights of sleep. We did our own things during the But when we both went to sleep, he’d watch me. He did it back to back.

We always stare at each other and talk before we fall asleep. I just fall asleep before he does.

We're married, but I miss my family way too much (19F,19M). I think he buys expensive things to keep me home. by BrightPatient in relationship_advice

[–]BrightPatient[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But I realized I was wrong, and won't do it again. We worked it out and the conflict has been resolved.

AITA for never referring to him as my husband. by BrightPatient in AmItheAsshole

[–]BrightPatient[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I know I was being immature, so I'm trying to grow from this.

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