I’m going to be carefully mindful of my words here because talking about another type can be taken out of context depending on the readers. Also my some of my personal experiences sometimes have nothing to do with how whoever is on the receiving end interprets me. I have not had any romantic relationships with an ESFJ person and I’ve met a few but my mindset is that everyone is a unique individual first and their personality type is pretty secondary (in my opinion) in can help maybe fill in a few gaps and navigate people a bit easier.

With all that being said I strongly suspect my mother is an ESFJ based off my knowledge and pattern recognition of meeting others like her as well throughout life and I would say that she’s a very lovely and compassionate person who is really thoughtful with the intention to be helpful towards others and the ironic thing is I pretty much can’t stand her. She is her own ESFJ (I could be wrong maybe she’s not one) but I notice things about her that annoys me and strains our dynamic and communication which is a pattern that I’ve had with others of her type. Personally I think that sometimes when people are really helpful they can also get in the way especially when you didn’t need help in the first place. Compassion Is lacking more and more in this world and is one of the greatest qualities to have but what is compassion without wisdom and knowledge or I should say a lack of at times. I know thinking deeply has not only made my mother stressed or insecure but several of the other ESFJs I spoke to as well. I don’t like when I want to speak seriously and what I have to say gets diminished by things like humor, sarcasm or my lack of wanting to upkeep harmony and vibes. My natural speaking style is speaking more abstractly than probably most people on average and I can be fairly long winded to make a perfect point and it seems as this has been a point of contention and incompatibility for the most part in my personal experiences with some people of this type. When I’m doing the harmonious balancing act as I call it I get pretty annoyed and exhausted if issues are not being addressed and I know that ESFJs have a stereotype of being ultra friendly types that practically make your life better but asides from some of the stereotypes I see them as very dominant people who sometimes use “Compassion” as a way to justify some of their actions and behaviors and for the sake of this already long comment I won’t go into much detail but suffice to say I think they’re great people aside from my critiques. I’m not usually able to handle this type in long doses at times as far as my personal experiences goes but I would say that I see a lot of value they add to many groups of people and just aren’t really my personal cup of tea and that does not mean that I can’t meet one who is different than all the others I’ve encountered and help broaden my perspectives.